My Many Blessings

Creative Canvas with Abbi

2012-01-28T18:13:00.003-06:00

For Christmas, I suggested to my mother to get the kids a gift certificate to Creative Canvas. I went with Mama, Denisha, and Jordyn a couple of months ago and we had a blast. Abbi went today, because she wanted to paint the sunflower portrait (a Van Gogh copycat). We wanted to be able to take the kids out on a Saturday afternoon by themselves. They rarely get that and it is a treat to get all the attention for a few hours.

Her painting turned out very good! It is now hanging proudly in her room and will be something she can keep.

Lunch at Culvers:

Starting her masterpiece:

Getting to sign the wall:

Can I brag on My Husband?

2012-01-13T15:29:00.002-06:00

It seems like I'm always updating everybody else and bragging on the children (and even the dog), but I feel like I may neglect my bragging of Jamie a bit. Not intentionally, of course. He knows how much I love him, but sometimes I just have to sit and ponder.

Jamie has been in my life for almost 24 years. It is honestly had to think of life before Jamie, because I was a mere child. We went to school dances, the movies, and each other's houses until we could actually date. We had some ups and downs in high school. I think there were moments that we both thought about ending the madness. For whatever reason we stuck it out. As angry as he would make me sometimes at 15 years old, we had a lot of fun together when we were together. In all reality, he became my best friend no matter what label was slapped on it.

Our relationship grew, we got engaged at 18, married at 19, and here we sit almost 18 years later. Crazy! I love him more than I ever thought possible. The same man that graduated high school by the skin of his teeth is maintaining a 4.0 status in graduate school. Maybe because he wants it more? Maybe because he is doing it for the 5 of us? Maybe he was just really that smar all along!

The same man that wasn't a Christian when we met (neither was I) is now a minister and love God with his whole heart. Not only does his vocation show it, his life shows it. He has a strong faith.

A few months ago as I went through the most challenging thing I've ever encountered in life, he let me cry as much as I needed, held me against his chest for me to scream into, held me up at the graveyard when it felt like my legs would collapsed under me, he stood by my side (and still is) and was there for my family and me without complaint (because I know he was exhausted). He lets me talk about it as much as I need and I know he prays for me.

He is a very hands-on Daddy and my kids adore him. I sometimes feel like chopped liver, because Daddy quickly gains all the attention when he is home. They miss him when he is gone, but they make up for lost time. He works a lot and always has. He puts our needs first and always has. He is the Daddy that all children wish they had if they don't.

He works hard (darned hard) for our family. We could easily be a double income family, but it just never felt right. God shifted my calling to stay home and later to homeschool, and he supports that, is excited about that, and trusts God (as to I) to provide our needs.

I love you Jamie!

Bring on 2012

2011-12-31T10:59:00.003-06:00

2010 was the hardest year I'd had to date. Jamie's job situation was stressful to say the least, we had an abrupt move, loss of "friends", and no home for a few months. It was a very sad year, although we did have some "good" come out of it.

2011 started off OK and we finished our house renovations in June and things were going well. Then in September, I got a phone call that changed everything. My Daddy died and nothing else mattered in the world. 2011 proved that 2010 really wasn't so bad after all, I suppose. I still miss my Daddy every single day and I never realized how much grief resembles physical pain. I don't understand it, but I have to reconcile that I never will and somehow move forward. To say that the last few months have been hard, would be an understatement. Our world has been rocked and will never be the same. He will never live to be old, will never see his grandchildren grow up, great-grandchildren being born, and enjoy retirement with my Mother.

Here I sit at the feet of 2012 and once again, I'm hoping for a better year. I suppose I had the same thoughts last year as we began 2011. In fact, I know I did. Ironic, isn't it? I guess the fact is that 2012 remains a mystery, live each day as if it is your last, pray to God that he will give you peace in your heart for the things you don't understand, tell your family that you love them and smother them in hugs and kisses, and enjoy each moment in life as each day is a gift.

So bring on 2012 and I pray that it is a peaceful one!

Mission Focus

2011-12-14T10:41:00.003-06:00

As my children create their wish lists, we have parties and family gatherings, bake goodies and candy, wrap gifts, and anticipate getting up to a room full of gifts on Christmas morning. I'm trying to get them to focus on Christ, but also to have a mission focus. I have received a couple of magazines from World Vision lately. I have been intrigued by them and thumbed through them casually. This morning in our Bible study we reflected on children around the world that aren't as blessed as we are. We may be "poor" by American standards, but we are incredibly rich to much of the world who long for clean water, shoes for their feet, and a meal each day.

We had Bible study this morning and then I pulled out the magazine and we decided to create a donation jar for World Vision to help those in need. My kids were so excited, they went and grabbed their piggy banks and emptied it into the jar. I'm putting this jar in a location where we will see it each day. This isn't just a Christmas project, it is a Mission Project. While I know there are many charities and needs to be met right here in my own county, I also realize there is a world of basic needs that people lack, and a world that Jesus loves and wants us to love and care about as well. I want my children to realize that we are blessed beyond measure. I want them to see the WORLD that Jesus loves and wants us to love and give generously too as well.

Here is a verse that my kids memorized a few weeks ago that became our focus verse for this project:

2 Corinthians 9:7
Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

My heart smiled this morning as my children volunteered to get their own money before I even suggested it. They were a true example of a cheerful giver. While I told them it is perfectly fine to show love in gifts to our loved ones at Christmas, which is what we do. We should also realize that there is so much more to it! Jesus loves everybody and I think sometimes we tend to forget that as we walk out our front doors and see our little area of the world.

World Vision

So, Life is Busy...

2011-12-09T11:36:00.002-06:00

I know I haven't updated as regularly. It is hard to catch a break and when I do (after the kids go to bed), I am lounging on the couch, watching some junk TV, and snuggling with my fur-baby. Many days I feel "behind" but I'm beginning to wonder "behind of what?" I think we all put too much pressure on ourselves.

We are almost halfway through the school year and my kids never cease to impress me. They are learning, I am learning (yes you have to relearn all this stuff sometimes), and we are cruising right along. Chloe is reading around a 6.75 year old reading level (give or take), Abbi is learning long division (oh the dread, but she is doing well), Micah is acing math, and Hannah is writing more descriptive than ever. I am so glad I can have this experience first hand. God has blessed us all through homeschooling. It was scary at first, but what isn't when you are being obedient to God?

Jamie is going to be preaching at the MCU church come January. To say that I'm a little nervous would be an understatement. I was apprehensive at first. The kids are settled and happy. Jamie and I are learning and content and then here we go again. Jamie really felt like God was leading to him this, so I told him that I respected that and let's give it a try. So, again, obedience is often scary, but I know it is worth it.

I am still on the roller coaster from losing my Daddy. I'm still just so confused by it some days. I just wish I could scream to God, "WHY!?!" at the top of my lungs and have an answer. I will dream about him then jolt awake of the realization that I'll never talk to him again on earth. I wish he could have seen my kids grow up (a little more at least). I wish he could have taken them fishing this fall like he was planning to. I wish a lot of things and now it is Christmas time....I have 1 less person to shop for and that feels....wrong. I still cry sometimes and I often feel like nobody understands how my heart feels with this missing piece. I don't understand any of this.

Gigi (named after G-Daddy, of course) has brought much life and fun to our house. She is just so sweet and playful. She plays hard, then sleeps hard and is doing so well. She is house training really well, crating at night without whining (finally), and is probably way too rotten to even mention already. We haven't had a dog in 16 years so to say that we are smitten is an understatement. I feel like I have a toddler around the house again with the constant "puppy sitting" but with 4 extra sets of eyes to help watch, it is working well. No disasters to speak of yet:-) A little piece of my Daddy sort of and our entire family has gone a little nuts over these dogs. God knew what we needed when we needed it and these Dogs have made us smile even on some very sad days.

My Mother is doing well considering. I always gets asked this. It is hard to say she is doing "well" because her heart is broken, but we keep her busy and she is doing as well as she can. We joke that we kind of just drag her everywhere we go, but she seems to enjoy herself and is trying to make some new memories. Thanksgiving was hard for everybody in many ways, but we all made it. Tears were flowing, but some of them weren't all bad. Mama is a strong lady and has us kids and grandkids to get her through, which is not the same, but hopefully a close second. She is trying to figure out a new normal. Losing a spouse rocks your entire world and you lose the love of your life.

Christmas is around the corner. We will be on break after next week and ending with a school party. Jamie's MCU party is tonight. I got a new outfit and hoping that I don't freeze too much. Why is it that all semi-formal dress outfits are FREEZING and then the guys get to wear suits? I guess I may be stealing Jamie's suit coat before the night is over. WE are also headed to MCU tomorrow to see Santa and get our annual picture.

Sorry this is long...I feel kind of behind in my blogs and thoughts. Life needs to slow down, but come January/February maybe things will seem a little more settled

One of the Best Moments of my Life!

2011-11-28T21:29:00.002-06:00

You know how you have those moments you just want to bottle up and never forget? I had one of those moments on Thanksgiving! It was (hands down) one of my favorite Mommy moments...ever! Absolutely awesome!

We put our tree up Wed. night and while it was happy for the kids, I felt the lump in my throat beginning to form. The reality that my Daddy was not longer with us became all new again. I shed a few tears after the kids went to bed and got up the next morning feeling much the same way. I knew that we had big surprises in store for that evening, but I had to get to that point.

I walked in at my mother's and everybody was all a buzz and when all got quiet and Jamie began to pray for our food, but also added that we rejoiced that 'David' was in heaven but to please be with us as we miss him greatly during the holidays, we were all crying. I just missed him so badly these past couple of weeks!

We also saved one of the best surprises we've ever given the kids on that day. I did that with the intention of taking the sting out and I know that my day ended a lot happier than it began. God gave us a litter of puppies just a few weeks after Daddy died from Daddy's dog. My Dad always had a dog. He loved them so much and animals were always such a huge part of my life. We had many dogs, a couple of cats, chickens, ducks, birds, a horse, a pig, a cow, fish, rabbits...I promise my Dad was not Old MacDonald! We've just never been in a good 'place' to add an animal to our family, so we didn't. God's timing is always perfect though and sitting beside me right at this moment is a little black and white blessing!

We wrapped the crate and turned it into the room backwards with Gigi inside. The kids even named Gigi weeks ago thinking she was going to stay with my Mother. Gigi, of course, named after "G-Daddy" and such a cute little name for a pup. When they discovered that Gigi was a Hughes doggie, I don't think there was a dry eye in the place. They were so surprised and so happy that it just made a very hard day so joyous! Micah was in total disbelief, but the smiles on their faces were priceless as is this sweet little puppy! She has been a God send during a very difficult time. God knows just what we need when we need it, I suppose and I needed her! She has been a wonderful asset to our family already. I can't wait to make many memories with her.

And as Abbi wrote in her journal this morning, "Beat that Santa!" Yea, it won't ever top this, but that is OK;-)

Jamie bringing the gift in:

The kids wondering why they have a gift on Thanksgiving:

And the family photo:

Gobble Gobble!

2011-11-24T09:14:00.002-06:00

I have very mixed emotions coming into the holiday season. I love to see the excitement and wonder in my children's eyes. I love to celebrate Christ, his birth, and the things he has given to me. This year is just different. My Daddy won't be sitting at the head of the table. His loss has suddenly become very heavy again in my heart as I was putting up my tree last night and we celebrate Thanksgiving today. I have so many people tell me that he is "better off", but in my human heart, I wanted him to see my kids grow up, live his retirement years with my mother, and just be here on earth a little longer. He still had much living to do and was feeling so good. I know that he is "better off" in my head (as we'd all be better off in heaven), but I wanted him around a bit longer. Maybe I didn't realize how much I needed him until he was no longer here. I don't know. All I know is that there is an empty spot in my heart that my never be filled and I just want to ask God "why?"

However, I have much to be thankful for. God has blessed us abundantly. I had the gift of my salvation 14 years ago, which changed my life and made me who I am right now. I have a wonderful Godly hard-working husband who loves us unconditionally. I have 4 kids that make me smile each day no matter my mood. I have been given the God-appointed opportunity to teach my children and see them grow in academics, but more importantly character. I have wonderful "extended" family that love me warts and all and I can be "real" with and who are my very best friends. I have good friends that lift me up and pray for me. I have a new church that challenges my thoughts more than I've ever been challenged in a church setting before. We have a cute little house that we finally get to OWN and fix up to our heart's content (I'm equally thankful that we are finished fixing it up for now though!). We are all healthy and that is also a gift! And the big event of the day is our furry little family member that will be joining us this afternoon. She is a little gift from heaven and a piece of my Daddy. There will be some puppy cuddles and smooches going on in the Hughes house TODAY!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Falling Apart

2011-11-22T13:33:00.003-06:00

Last month I went to the doctor for my annual check up/blood work-up. She had me come in today to discuss the results. Well, let's just say that I feel like I may be falling apart! She started out telling me that I have hypothyroidism (like my Mother) and while I was trying to digest this and ask questions, she looked back down at the paper and said, "I'm not done yet" and I was like, "oh?" and she proceeded to tell me that my B12 levels were severely low and so was my Vitamin D. She said my body may not process B12, but after looking at the list of foods that are good in B12, there are probably other reasons as well, because I'm just not a big meat eater. So, I had to start shots today. I will go once a week for 5 weeks, then every other week, then another blood draw in 3 months to see where we are at. Sounds fun huh?

She said that some people have low Vitamin D coming out of winter, but for whatever reason I have a low level coming out of summer. I sit outside with my children while they play, take walks, sit at soccer games, etc and have a low Vitamin D level? So, I have to take a prescription for this.

She put me on some Amino Acids a few weeks ago, I will take 2 thyroid pills, a Vitamin D and a B12 shot weekly (for now). What the heck! I guess I better get me a pill box to match Jamie's, because mine will be stuffed full with 6 different pills (some I take twice a day!)!

It is hard getting old I suppose, but it is worth being healthy to be around for my husband, kids, and future grandchildren!

Daddy's Tombrock

2011-11-12T10:56:00.001-06:00

Yesterday my Mama, Davida, and I spent all day looking at tombrocks. I don't think any of us realized how many details and decisions went into this decision. It was a bit overwhelming, but I think the final result will be beautiful and a wonderful representation of my Daddy. I think the man that designed it captured my Daddy's essence in a very special way. The rock will be black and a slanted type (wider at the base, and narrow at the top like a triangle).

The picture above is what the rock will look like. The top is the back of it with a deer, 4 wheeler, tobacco barn, squirrel, and woods. Perfect! My Daddy was the happiest outside, hunting, gardening, and of course on his 4 wheeler. Davida and I are represented on the back as well. The front is the picture at the bottom. It is more traditional to allow the black stone to shine through. We did add "G-Mama" and "G-Daddy" to again represent the grandkids in their lives.

I think it is perfect and I can't wait to see it when it arrives.

95 Years Young

2011-11-10T21:05:00.002-06:00

I have several updates with cute pictures that need to be done, but I can't find my card reader and it'll have to wait and then it'll be picture overload I suppose.

I got a phone call yesterday morning that my Papaw was very ill. My heart sort of flip flopped as I thought "here we go again". I had visited with my Papaw on Halloween and tears flooded his eyes as he spoke about how it is hard getting old referring to losing all of his family that he had a hand in making. It was something that we had spoken of 1000 times since Daddy died, but to hear him say it made me so sad. His grieving has been different than ours. It is almost like he is just now realizing what has happened and he is suddenly missing my Daddy very much. He has buried both of his children and his wife. He has my mother (who is much like his own daughter) and us grandchildren left, but I do realize in many ways that it is not the same. He probably wished as I did yesterday morning that my Daddy was here to take care of things, but he isn't. If 95 means burying your entire family...count me out, please!

I visited with him last night and while most 95 year old people are not aware of the situation, he fully is and it is even sadder in some ways. He was scared. He mentioned my Daddy as he laid there in pain and he wants to do things how Daddy would have wanted them. He was difficult to understand, because his mouth was dry and we could only make out a piece of what he was trying to say. He looked so helpless laying up there. My last grandparent I have left and my only living "father figure" on this earth.

It was determined today that he has a bleeding ulcer and did suffer a mild heart attack. It was successfully clamped off and he is expected to make a full recovery. He is a remarkable man. He has been through and seen a lot in his 95 years. I suspect he will be deer hunting here very soon:-)

I sometimes have felt like the past 9 weeks have been upside down, inside out, and turned around backwards. I don't understand it and when I try to sit and figure it out, it just upsets me more, because I know in my heart that I never will. Tomorrow we are going to pick out a tombstone and it is another sense of reality slapping me in the face that this is not going away. My Daddy is gone and his name will be etched in stone to prove it.

Happy Birthday Abigail Renee!

2011-10-27T08:44:00.003-05:00

Today marks Abbi's double digit birthday that is such a milestone. I can hardly believe it! She was born 5 weeks early and I remember clearly when they held her up for me to see, they put her little face up to my mine for me to give her a quick kiss before they whisked her off. She proved herself to be strong and a fighter during this time and she still is.

She is all girl in many ways. She loves glitter, dresses, playing dolls, and pink. However, she has outgrown the use of hairbows, can kick butt on the soccer field, get knocked down and get right back up, and pretty rough in tumble in a lot of ways. She is the best of both worlds and is turning into a girl with a good head on her shoulders!

She looks a lot like I did much to her dismay. My once shy little girl has turned into a social butterfly that can go up to anybody and become instant friends. She has a knack of even making the shy kids talk to her and will go over and sit by the child that is sitting alone even if that means leaving her friends. This is something that has been amazing to see. I always thought this little girl would be clinging to my legs when we were out in public and here she is outshining me!! Amazing!

Today she is 10! We are taking off from school, eating pizza, dirt cake, and opening presents. Jamie works this evening, and it is cold, but we will find something to get our hands into:-)

We had an early birthday celebration due to Jamie's work schedule.

Friendship and Humanity

2011-10-25T13:14:00.002-05:00

They say it is through the good times and bad times that you find out who your "real" friends are. I agree with this statement more than ever, I suppose. You find out what your marriage is made of, your faith in God, and what kind of friends (or extended family) you have during a crisis. You find out what you are made of and how you handle things also. It is easy to have great relationships as long as things are happy and good, isn't it?

I've found that I can actually fake it really well . I'm actually not sure if this is a good thing or not. Perhaps it is 12 years of ministry that has caused me to be this way. No one expects everybody to be happy all the time, but in reality, that is what we want to see. I've learned to slap a smile on even if my insides are a crazy mess. I also realize that even though my family needs prayer right now, I rarely even ask for prayer from other people. I don't want to be "one of those people" that seem to whine about everything from a hang nail to someone dying, so I just avoid and go on. Jamie even laughs and said when I tell someone at church in our prayer circles that my family needs prayer, I just say, "My Dad died" very matter of factly without emotion either direction. I also realize when I talk about him to other people, I will say "my Dad" rather than "my Daddy"...maybe this is to disconnect myself a bit. I don't know.

My family has been through a crisis situation. We have all found out what it means to have family and friends reach for us and just let us know that they care even when they don't understand. I realized how short 6 weeks is in this stinking grieving process. I realized that simple hugs, words of encouragements, and a mailbox of cards really mean more than you realize when you are on the other side. It is hard to look around and see "life" carry on normally for everyone when your world has changed so dramatically, yet you are expected to be and act normal.

We all had family and friends that didn't reach for us in a real way. I don't know a nice way to say that. I could go into gory details, but I'll save it. I've learned quite a lot about friendship and humanity. People sometimes aren't your real friends maybe, they may not really "get it", and they may not really care (ouch!). That is a hard pill to swallow in life, I think. I think we learned this same lesson as we exited Owensboro when people we called "friends" turned their backs to us and didn't really care about us as living breathing people, which was lightweight in comparison to this tremendous loss we've endured to be honest. The lessons at the end are the same though. Who are your real friends? I've decided that I can probably count on a couple of hands the real people in our lives that do care. Maybe we are fortunate to have a strong family base that is also enduring this loss, our marriage is rock solid, my beautiful children, and a God that loves us. I know in many aspects we are very 'well off,' but our humanness needs people. We need to, at least, have the illusion of care.

I've also gained a friend through this though, which was God's design. She lost her mother this year and so we have bonded (unfortunately ) through these losses and puppies (she is getting one of Daddy's puppies). She is our age, and having a difficult way in life at the moment, but I feel that God ordained our friendship. In many ways, I feel like if she had not came to me that Sunday I went back to church, I may not have stepped back into those church doors and I wish that I was exaggerating. I can't even tell you the number of conversations through tears Jamie and I have had about people disappointing us and the feeling of being "alone" in this world.

As Christians we are called for a higher purpose. I've made a new mission in life to reach out to people that I may or may not know. I don't want anybody else in our church, family, or friendships to feel like they are alone. Maybe a word of encouragement, a card, a conversation will make a small fraction of a difference for somebody and God can use this as a redeeming quality to my own flawed personality.

With that said....my blog is my journal, so even if 9/10 of my blogging lately may seem morbid and unhappy, it doesn't mean that I'm in a state of depression or anything. It simply means that i'm grieving and going through that insane process and this ends up being an outlet for me to get things "out". While there are hard times, hard days, and reminders...Waldrop women are strong! We will make it!

A-Maize-ing Farms

2011-10-24T13:29:00.006-05:00

Here is what it looks like. It did make me wonder how they cut the corn to make it look so perfect. Someone very talented!

Jamie was our fearless leader...scary huh?

On the Hayride:

e

First of all, I cannot even tell you how much the spelling of that place bugs me. What is worse is that in some places it is written "Amaizeing Farms" (without the dashes) and that goes against all English and logic. You know, the saying, "drop the E before adding ING?" What happened to that? Ok, I do understand the play on words. We get it. A corn maze with the word "maize" in it is cute and clever, but I can't hardly stand to type it out!

Thanks to Aunt Deda we got free tickets to go. It was beautiful weather, Jamie had no studying to do (a rare treat around here), and so we decided to go check it out. They had bounce houses, a hayride, plenty of room to run and play, and of course the corn maze. I guess I have never been to a real corn maze of this magnitude. It was kind of crazy. They had a "clue" type game to play, which we started out doing, but the kids quickly lost interest. About 5 minutes into it, Chloe was saying, "when are we getting out of here?" I think she didn't really understand the point of it all. Why would you go intentionally get lost? We even made a circle at one point and ended up back where we started. LOL! It made for some funny memories though.

I think the kids enjoyed the bounce houses the most (that isn't a big surprise though). It was nice just to spend time with family though and relax a bit.

Happy Birthday Micah David!!!

2011-10-22T08:39:00.004-05:00

I can hardly believe it when I say that my oldest child is 12. 12! That seems like such a huge number. Before I had children, I would have said that it was a long time, but as I look back at the last 12 years of my life, I say it is short....too short. He is growing and changing before my eyes. I can honestly say that he is the best little boy in the entire world to me (as there is no competition around here).

He is a child that will give his sisters the red lollipop and take the green even though red is his favorite, keeps the cleanest bedroom in the house, is a math whiz, loves to be on stage and entertain people, is very creative in his writing and drawing, looks like his Daddy (which makes me smile), will often clean the kitchen without being asked, and my only son.

My labor with him was short, but the 3 hour delivery about did me in. I remember begging the doctor through tears to get "it" out, because I was in so much pain and so exhausted. Not long after, here came my little baby into the world, tongue sticking out, eyes wide open, dark hair, and the most beautiful thing I had ever laid my eyes on to date. He is the child that marched Jamie and I into parenthood and changed our perspectives on life...forever!

He is so special and getting so big. You know your child is big when you can go to their closet and borrow clothes, slip their shoes on and they fit, and you can no longer stand behind them in a picture. Next year...he becomes a teenager!

Micah was named after my Dad and as we celebrate his first birthday without a G-Daddy phone call and visit, we are reminded of our tremendous loss from 6 weeks ago once again.

This year his piece of cake looked like it was on fire. Maybe next year we will opt for the number candles instead!

He got a comic book Bible, a Christian t-shirt and a beyblade. While he asked for the shirt and Bible the Beyblade was a surprise, so that ended up being his favorite thing, I think.

Oh look! Even Molly made it to for Micah's birthday! We found out that she likes to pounce on Jamie's face and attack him when he is laying in the floor too. She didn't do that to the kids, so Jamie must be special:-)

So Stinkin' Cute!!!

2011-10-18T20:14:00.002-05:00

Who can resist that little face? Their eyes are opened, they are getting fat, and moving around more! BIG secrets are hard to keep, but oh so worth it! I can't wait to see my kids' faces when they find out one of these little furry bundles is ours. They still have no idea!

My Daddy will be smiling down...that's for sure!

Scatter-Brained

2011-10-16T11:36:00.004-05:00

I've always been a super organized person. I've always been a non-procrastinator and gave everything in life my all. I had a friend ask me how I was doing this morning in reference to losing my Daddy. I said, "Ok, I guess" and proceeded to tell her that we were stepping down from teaching after November. There are a few reasons for this, but some of it is my stress/anxiety levels being a whole new high. I really just want to release everything that is not necessary and then gradually reintroduce these things back as my mind and heart settle. I told her that I feel like I'm going to break. The feeling of knowing I have certain things in life that are NO choice, but the ones that ARE have to kind of go right now. I don't know another way to say it, but she nailed it. She has been through this herself (a sudden death of a parent) and said, "you feel scatter-brained" BINGO! That is it! I've never considered myself a scatter brain before, but here I am. Jamie has even noticed that I'm more forgetful and kind of all over the map in my emotions and where my brain is.

I'm beginning to find normal again I suppose in daily life and feeling the obligation of the "Sandwich generation" as well as my own personal grief. I do realize that my Mama is energetic, healthy, and young to be a widow, but I still feel this "sandwich" between 2 generations. My own house is obviously priority #1, but my Mother has suddenly moved up to a close #2. Thankfully Jamie feels this draw as well and we are on the same page, so he understands when I feel a compulsion to "take care" of my mother. While the unknowns of the future fall on her worries, I know in my heart that she WILL be taken care of financially, emotionally, and physically, because we will see to it and would have it no other way.

My mom has still gone to soccer games, called to check on us, and filled in at work for another lady that has also suffered an incredible loss. She told me the other day how much she needed us and all I could think was, "no, we need you." I told her that she was not allowed to leave this earth for at least 20 years. While I say this joking knowing that God can do whatever he wants and we found out all too much how quickly plans and life can change (without warning), I realize how important my family is in a whole new way.

We get so busy in "life" that we sometimes don't put the people in our lives a priority, hug them, visit them, tell them that we love them, and make time and memories with them a priority in our lives. You can't get that time back and it fleets before our eyes. My Daddy had plans he never got to as he thought he had "tomorrow". I'm positive my Daddy would have chosen to live as he was having a pretty decent life and retirement with my Mama. However, he didn't have a choice, but we DO have a choice in how we spend our PRESENT!

A Little Bragging/Updating!

2011-10-10T13:31:00.003-05:00

My kids are going strong in their school work. Even through the bumpy past month, they have cruised right along and stayed the course. They are great kids and I'm proud of them. I'm amazed at not only what they are learning, but how much they are retaining. I try to remember that on the days that are less than ideal for one reason or another. Those days aren't often, but we all have "off" days.

Micah is cruising right along and loves having his work mostly on the computer. Surprisingly, he has not gotten headaches any more than usual, which was a concern of ours in the beginning when we tried this. The big girls have 1 subject on the computer too and they are becoming good little typists too. I'm really surprised how smooth this has gone, actually.

Chloe's math curriculum is divided into 2 books. It is an advanced curriculum and she just completed book 1 today! This should've lasted us until Christmas, so she is ahead of the game, for sure. I suppose in Jan/Feb she will be finished with Kindergarten math if she keeps up this pace. I keep waiting for her to reach a snag, but so far, so good.

Soccer is in full swing and all my girls are enjoying it and are all good players. Abbi scored her first goal of the season on Saturday. Hannah had several attempts, assists, and good defense. Chloe is the smallest on the team, but also the fastest (also the oldest! My short kids!). She is one of the few that actually gets the game and wants to be there. Some of the little girls would rather lay down on the bench than play.

Drama is cranking back up next Monday and I'm sure Micah will do well. I can't wait to see how much different this middle school group will be. Wait....did you catch that? Middle school!!! Rarely does this register in my brain since it is a non-issue in our house, but he really is a middle school kid...ouch!

Today marks the month anniversary of my Daddy's death. It is weird, because today really doesn't hurt any more than any other day at this point. Friday/Saturday is the hardest days for me and since it fell on a Monday, it really hasn't been any harder than usual. My mother had her well pump go out over the weekend too, so much prayers for her and her worries that go along with it. It is fixed, and now I'm praying for the bill to be lighter than she anticipates. That is all I can do at this point. I feel so helpless most of the time. Why does everything seem to happen at once?

I have 2 birthdays coming up that will make the first "real" milestones of Daddy's death too. I know they will miss their G-Daddy phone call and visit this year. I sure will!

Blessings Come in all Shapes and Sizes!

2011-10-06T13:13:00.003-05:00

When my Daddy died on September 10th, he had no idea that his Rat Terrier (Sugar) was pregnant. He honestly thought she was getting fat. She is pretty young and he had put her up during her first heat to prevent puppies and then they were going to go to the doctor for the 'snip snip.' Dog breeding (or Mutt breeding) wasn't something he was interested in dealing with.

The weekend Daddy died, one of my nieces commented that Sugar sure was getting fat and that she looked pregnant. Considering the stress levels, I remember looking at her and thinking that it was a possibility, but it really wasn't a big deal in my mind at the time. Well, another week passed and it became quite obvious that puppies were on the way. Last week, Mama put her up in the pen to prevent her from wandering off to have her pups. Sunday, her eyes were all teary and she looked so sad and pitiful.

When my Mama arrived home Monday afternoon from work, after a bad day, after crying and feeling lonely, after calling me and venting about how she felt her life would never get better, and after missing my Daddy so greatly. Guess what she came home to? She came home to (what she thought) was 3 puppies. We have all been waiting in the wings and texts and phone calls were exchanged with much excitement and anticipation of the new arrivals. By Tuesday afternoon, she had discovered a 4th pup and by Wednesday the final head count ended at 5 (3 girls and 2 boys).

We went out yesterday to meet these little furry blessings. It is just hard to explain how much my family needed something like this right now. It doesn't bring Daddy back, It doesn't make that part easier to deal with, but it sure does bring a silly smile to our faces knowing that Daddy had no idea what was in store. God is smiling down on us even with something as small as a litter of pups!

They are so teensy and tiny, 3 spotted like Sugar, 2 are black. We aren't even sure who the Daddy is, but perhaps a beagle. We aren't sure and probably will never know what these little mutts are, but they are our little mutts! Now we are just praying that they stay strong and healthy!

And....I won't mention any names....none whatsoever...but there are 4 little kiddos that will have a little furry surprise in the backyard just around Thanksgiving time! It is a tip top secret and one that will be hard to keep, but worth keeping. The holidays will be rough in many ways, so this little extra smile from heaven will, at least, ease the sting a bit. My Daddy would be totally thrilled at the thought of my kids rolling around on the grass with their new furry buddy:-) I am too! Now....to come up with a name for a GIRL doggie that will keep the memory alive. We are leaning towards "Gigi" even though "Hunter (sounds kind of boyish), Peanut , and Sonner (joke!)" are all in the running. I suppose we have 6-8 weeks to decide!

Feeling Loved

2011-10-02T13:51:00.003-05:00

We had talked a while back about visiting Poplar Spring again. It has been 3 years since we left there. 3 weeks ago when Daddy died, I had such an overwhelming outpouring of love from that church. It was amazing to me. Just looking out into the sea of funeral visitors and seeing those familiar faces that are only there, because they love you, is something you never quite understand until you are there. My mailbox was full of cards and notes from these people that entire week. I always loved that church, God called us elsewhere 3 years ago, and not until 3 weeks ago, did I realize what we were missing out on. I knew when they reached out to us in such a special way that we had to make the trip to see them and tell them that. WE finally didn't have SS duty for the first time in 4 months too.

It was so sweet to get those hugs, love, brags on my children, and feel like I was "home" in a way. The preacher is new, the song leader is new, but those people in the pews are the same. That church is moving, growing, expanding, and doing some new exciting things. I'm so happy to see how well they are doing. It doesn't even really take that long to get there with that new highway (where was that thing years ago when we needed it?)

I sat there this morning and pondered to myself. The music was more traditional than even when we left, the preaching style was similar to Bro. Dennis (not that that is an insult), you have to dress up a bit more to feel like you aren't the odd man out, but it is a trade off in our minds. Go to a church where they have a big huge heart and maybe not the "style" you prefer. Or go to a church where the teaching/preaching is challenging and thought provoking, the music is more to your liking, your children are learning to have a missions heart, and wearing a pair of jeans is even encouraged, yet perhaps lack something that Poplar Spring blows them away with? I don't know right now, but I'm praying for clear direction in my life. Our emotions are on edge right now and I don't want to run away from something good just because of flaws humans that fill those chairs.

I told the pastor before we left how amazing the love in his church was. I really mean that. It is RARE to find that anymore, I think. It is appreciated more than you'll ever know when life seems to be kicking you in the gut.

I will also say that our pastor at Community is beyond amazing. When I talked to him just this week about some of my feelings that I'm going through, he understood, prays for us, and is working on making things better. It is a 10 year old church with a lot of younger people and a lot of newer Christians. He admitted that helping people grieve is a weak spot in our church, and he vowed to me to make it better. They actually voted this morning, I think, to fill a new position to take the reigns of a new ministry to help with this. It is seeing "growing pains" so to speak from the influx of new people over the past 2 years. In the meantime, I felt a bit...um....forgotten (lack of a better word here) in my grief. I don't expect a pity party, I do expect some condolences and a listening ear, which I lack right now (from someone on the outside of this).

God bless Poplar Spring! I will always consider you home even if I don't go there anymore. It is very special to my heart!

Muddling Through

2011-09-29T13:00:00.002-05:00

I told someone last night at church that I was "muddling through" life right now. That is kind how I feel. I don't know how else to explain it. I may look normal on the outside, but my insides are a huge confused mess. I wonder if I'll ever quite feel the same, actually. I've heard "time heals" but I've also heard that you never really get 'over it' you just learn to get 'through it'. I'm not sure which one of those choices I like better right now, honestly. Nothing sounds too good right now unless we can push rewind, and we can't. We are encountering "firsts"and "reminders" already with the slew of fall birthdays we have in our family.

I actually went a day this week without crying. Baby steps is still progress I guess! My hairdresser talked to me and as weird as that sounds it was therapy to me. She lost her dad without warning 5 years ago and she "gets it". Like REALLY gets it! I could really express my feelings and frustrations and she nodded along realizing where she was 5 years ago in her nightmare. I left there feeling a bit refreshed and didn't even care about my hair in the least (oddly enough since that is what I went for). For now, I'll take 1 good day and it is all relative at this point. Good compared to what? Not good compared to September 9th when I went to sleep, but pretty decent compared to September 10th at 3:20 am. I guess I'll take it.

Everybody has moved on (rightfully so, it doesn't effect them), but my family and I are still reeling from all this. How confused we all are that Daddy was completely fine and actually having a good few weeks and then snatched away from this world in his sleep. He went so peacefully too. I know that should make us feel thankful and maybe it would if he were OLD. I'm not very thankful about any of it right now.

I have successfully told my church "no" to 2 responsibilities presented to me the past few days. The pastor said I should take it as a compliment, but I don't really care right now. I don't ever say "no" much. I really just want to scream, "Don't you get it! My world is changed! I have to figure how to be normal again before I can put anything else on my plate! Don't you see that I'm busy with a husband that is gone at night and taking care of my 4 kids? I was actually pretty dang busy before all this, Don't you GET IT! My Daddy is gone forever!" The reality? No, they don't get it. They aren't meant to. It is not their pain to have. Most people asking things of me have 2 parents that they can talk to this very second if they chose to. I don't anymore! It makes me jealous at times. It shouldn't, but it does.

I've found that I can be around people and still feel lonely though. Isn't that strange? I go to church and feel misunderstood, unknown, and that nobody really cares what is going on (just what I can do for them). A place that should bring me comfort, I have to force msyelf to go to, and it is just not comforting to me. I go through bouts of being sad, angry, lonely, and even times where I have to remind myself that I'm not in a nightmare that I can wake up from. Everybody else in the world seems happy to me. I know they aren't. I know they may be acting just like me or they have conflicting emotions (like me), but it just feels and seems that way. I've found people, in general, pretty selfish and I suppose I am too. We are all sinful and selfish by nature.

I look at my husband and see a man that I love even more than I did just 19 days ago, which I would have argued was impossible. He is a good Godly man! I look at my kids and they are precious and so sweet. They are the reason I get up in the morning right now and muddle through the day (and smile!). I look at my sweet Mama and see a woman that is grieving her husband. A loss that I can't even wrap my mind around at the moment. God bless her! My sister and I can relate to each others pain as it is the same loss. My children and my nieces lost their G-Daddy (all too young to be dealing with this) and it saddens my heart for them and what they will miss out on. I'm leaning on God and my family right now.

Reduced to Memories and Pictures

2011-09-22T13:27:00.003-05:00

My sister sent me this newspaper picture from 2006. It makes me smile. My Daddy helped build the huge brick signs at Murray State. We had so many people last week tell us how great my Daddy was at laying brick and how hard of a worker he was. This, we already knew. He was great at his craft. I know that he would fuss sometimes about laying blocks, because it was so hard of a job. He would also complain a bit if he had to lay those irregular stones/bricks, which were beautiful, but kind of a pain to do. He didn't like doing the smooshed mortar, because he felt like it wasn't "finished" although he did whatever was asked of him. He went to bed around 8:00 when he was working, because he was out the door by 6:00am. I remember hearing him take a shower in the mornings before I was even thinking of getting up. I appreciate that more now than I did then, I think. Teenagers don't realize how parents get tired too.

My Daddy was told in April/May 2008 that if he didn't have a major back surgery, he would be in a wheelchair or worse. He had surgery the week we moved to Owensboro where they fused 5 disks together and while he did well, he never felt good again,, and was unable to work. He was in chronic pain, although somewhat managed. All these back problems were caused by him providing for his family all those years. I took for granted all of this while I was growing up. I suppose all kids do. Daddy was feeling so much better the last couple of weeks of his life due to a new pain management plan and doctor. Again, the long term results were cut short, but I am thankful that he was feeling good for a short while.

I cooked a batch of okra today for lunch and had a sliced cucumber on the side. This was picked by my Daddy before he passed. I don't know if it was the last day he was alive or sometime that week, but I teared up while cooking that food. It is the last food I'll ever eat that my Daddy planted, hoed, and picked. Jamie said his garden should have been featured in a magazine with its perfect straight rows, the dirt all turned over beautifully, and lack of weeds. He was the gardener expert and I was going to pick his brain next year, because Jamie and I are thinking of doing a small garden. I can always read a book, ask someone else, or figure it out on my own, but it won't be the same. He would have enjoyed teaching me how to do this. I grew up with a garden, picked veggies, and shelled peas, but I always just took for granted the work that went into it before we were sitting down to dinner. My Daddy made tomato juice the day before he died. He was having a good day and week. That makes me happy and confused about all this at the same time, I think.

We are now reduced to memories and pictures of the past. I can still hear my Daddy's voice in my head and his laugh. I wonder how long it'll be before it fades. Will it fade? I don't want it to. Will my kids remember? I don't know and that bothers me. Will I always be waiting for him to walk in the back door of the house when I visit? It is so strange to see your Daddy who provided for you, played games with you, gave you advice as an adult stricken by death too soon. He died so peacefully that I know eternity caught him by surprise as much as it did us. What was he doing those last few hours/minutes? Will I ever get the images of his lifeless body sitting in his favorite chair and the morticians carrying him off 3 hours later out of my head? When I turn 66, will I be afraid to sleep? Will I ever get over the fact that some people I love didn't reach out to us during the the most painful shocking moments of our lives? Did these people that dismissed the first 2 days of his death, realize how much a phone call or acknowledgement would mean? I don't know the answer to any of these questions. The biggest question of all is "Why?" God only knows.

Every relationship has ups and downs in life and ours was no different. I realized on 9-10-11 at 3:20 in the morning that nothing else mattered in the world though. I have had thoughts of some of the funniest, special, and unique memories that made my earthly Father my "Daddy" It is funny how God brings these things to the surface and anything negative is buried and gone. God is so very good!

I've also seen how strong my mother is. My Grandmother lost her husband in much the same manner, so I know that Mama had a wonderful example of how to "live" after your soul mate is gone. My Mother, while going through this horrific loss, has been a comfort to her family too, because she "gets it" having been in these shoes. My mother came to a soccer game last Saturday, went to work on Tuesday (she only works 2 days, but this was a major step), and while she worries about the unknown she reminds us all "I'm going to be all right...I'm strong". This I know! While the almost 500 people that loved us last week, go on with their lives, we are suddenly left alone and in the dark about where to go with our grief. Our hearts are still aching even if we smile on the outside. I can enjoy my children and laugh in life with a missing piece of my heart that is 6 feet under in Story's Chapel Cemetery. How is it possible to laugh and be sad at the same time and when will this begin to sink in and feel normal again. I almost have to chant to myself, "your Daddy is dead" or I hardly even believe it myself.

My life with Daddy has been reduced to memories and pictures, but that's not all! I look at my Mama, sister, nieces, and children and know that his memory will go on and we will make it. Holidays will be hard, especially the first year, but we will trudge ahead and make "life" and more memories. One thing is for sure, I'm not sweating the small stuff at the moment and I am not taking our remaining parents, grandparents, and family for granted!

Soccer Girls

2011-09-19T13:29:00.003-05:00

Saturday the girls played games. It was the 1st game for the big girls and the first time they played together on the field. I really enjoyed watching them out there together. They are both turning out to be very good players! Chloe was the superstar of the team, scoring 8 points by herself (no goalie in this league). She is just so fast. She is shortest, but the quickest, so don't let the Hughes girls' sizes fool you! I was so surprised to see how Chloe honestly "gets" how to play. Some of the others don't, so I guess that goes with being the little sister of 2 other soccer stars:-)

Abbi and Hannah's team lost...big time! Abbi has never lost a game and this is her 4th season of playing. It is a young team and some inexperience is out there. My girls knew their stuff, but a few others kind of didn't (oops!). The funny thing is by the time soccer season is over, they'll be getting better.

This is our first weekend/week back to "normal". I honestly don't even know if I'll ever feel normal again though. I can smile and laugh at my children and enjoy them, but there is an ache in my heart at the same time. I miss my Daddy more than I ever realized I would. I wish I could tell him that. There are many moments where I'm happy and sad together and these emotions don't make sense to me. I know we'll get there. I am sometimes sad, mad, numb, etc. I'm so confused on what to say or do sometimes. My poor Mama lost her husband and that saddens my heart.

Chloe asked me if she could name her special doggie she sleeps with "G-daddy". I told her that sounded nice and she said, "I didn't want you to be sad when you heard that name". My kids are worried about me and that is so sweet. They've seen a lot this week emotionally, but they are tough cookies on when they grow up, they'll understand more.

I went to church and got some really caring hugs and words. I also saw this past week how wonderful my husband is. Last year was a hard time for us, but was a cake walk compared to this valley I'm in. He sees me hurting and tries desperately to hold me, help me, and make things easier right now. He has held me as I sobbed and he has listened to me and helped me vent. He also has done piles of laundry and things around the house when I just didn't give a care this week. He was right there by my family's side and doing whatever needed to be done that we just didn't have time or energy for (making errands, going to town, burning trash, etc). I knew that after 23 years of knowing Jamie and 17 years of marriage that he was a good man, but this week has really shown me how much he truly loves me AND my family. It is amazing to have him by my side in life and I know this is hard on him too. He spoke at my Daddy's graveside service beautifully even if the words were hard to come at first. I appreciate my man in a whole new way.

God will help us muddle through this one way or another.

Our Best Seller!

2011-09-16T13:46:00.002-05:00

My sister and I decided we are going to write a book on what NOT to say or do when someone dies. It is INSANE the things that people think is comforting. I was standing by her in the receiving line and we'd say, "add that to our book." Why don't they teach this stuff in schools? Maybe they should, because at some point we all have to face this. I mean sometimes just a simple, "I'm sorry, praying for you" is much appreciated followed by a hug.

Don't say (these are all taken from actual and true events from the past week):

"When my (Grandpa, Uncle, cousin etc) died...." Yea, right now it is me that is going through this crap, so don't compare your stories. This is not helpful! This is my Daddy laying here, not a Grandpa or Uncle and that is completely and totally different anyways.
"Death is a part of life" Yes, it is, but it has never been a part of my life like this, so this reminder doesn't help me.
"Be so glad that he didn't suffer, this is the best way to go" Really? At 66!??!??! For my Daddy? Absolutely!!! For us? Not so much! Have you ever lost someone with no warning? There is NO 'best way' to go through this. Sorry folks, my Dad was fine one second, then gone the next and none of us got to tell him 'good-bye'. I don't want to watch anybody suffer (been there done that with Grandparents), but getting bulldozed by it isn't really all that better either. It all SUX!
"You may feel guilty for a while for not getting to say anything to him, but that will get better in time" Ummmm....ok? That makes me feel very comforted since this is the part I am currently struggling with!!!
"This is God's plan". Yes, I'm a Christian and fully believe that, but it is also Ok for me to shake my head and be angry with the way things happened. I don't think I'll ever be "ok" for my Daddy dying at 66 even if it is God's plan. I agree that it is, but it doesn't make it feel better right now.
"He looks different than the last time I saw him" while passing by my Daddy's body laying there. followed by, "But I haven't seen him in 20 years". Ok, do YOU look like you did 20 years ago? Probably not, so this is a crazy comment.
"Are you pregnant?" and I responded "No" and then the old lady pointed to my abdomen and said, "You might want to check and make sure". I think I just stared at her stunned! Seriously! I've had 4 kids, my body is not the size of a super model, but neither was hers! If this had been at Wal-mart, I probably would have cried, but in light of recent events in my life, I got a good laugh out of it. I suddenly did become paranoid that I chose the wrong outfit though.
"It's OK" Nope, it really isn't OK! Not at all!
"I know how you feel" No you really don't! Even if you have lost your Daddy, you still don't know how I feel, so just don't say that!
"Was he sick?" I had to explain HOW my Daddy died over and over the other night. People are curious and mean well, but it was hard having to go through that a million times too. My answer, "My Daddy had some health problems that were under control and he could have lived with for a long time....he was not terminal in any way"

Don't:

Take pictures. Yea, we had some friend taking pictures at the graveyard and we didn't want that. If in doubt, always run things by the family first, because they are what matters right now!
Not be around in the beginning. It is funny how we have all remembered people that "should have" been there for us, but weren't. It is hurtful and something I can't even really explain. It is amazing how a simple phone call, visit, etc. can help you to realize who really loves you in times of crisis.
Compare
Put items on the Grave sight (or heaven forbid anywhere else) unless you ask the FAMILY...period! We found an item placed on the grave after we got back from lunch the day of the burial. It was not welcome in the least and was very upsetting to us all. Just don't!
Underestimate what it is like to bury your parent if you have never been in these shoes. I've lost a Grandmother that I was extremely close to, yet nothing compares to the pain I am feeling at this moment. It is unreal! You know you'll have to face this some day, but you always think that they'll be 85 or something.

Do:

Call
Go to the family. I always thought I'd be a bother and in the way and Saturday was crazy with visits and phone calls, but afterwards I realize how much love there was towards my family.
Go to the funeral visitation and if you can't send (at minimum) a sympathy card.
Give hugs. I'm generally not a huggy person outside of my family, but those hugs were much appreciated
Offer childcare. I had this offer and didn't really take them up on it, but it was just nice to know there was more options.
Tell them that you are praying, but you also have to follow through on that promise! FAmilies need it long after the person is in the ground.
Tell them that you are sorry and mean it!
Tell them a funny or memorable story with the person that has died (I did like hearing good stories). It made me realize that my Daddy's memory will live on outside of my family and it makes me smile.
Give the Grandkids something special just for them. My kids got a little necklace from our preacher/wife and they have not taken them off all week. Chloe also got a stuffed animal from her best friend in Owensboro.

So here is brainstorming for my best selling book. I promise to give everybody an autographed copy;-)

The past couple of days have been better around here. I usually can save my tears for after the kids go to bed at least (poor Jamie). I still have an ache in my heart that I can't explain. It was very strange for me to go to soccer practice last night and act like things were just peachy in my life when I feel like things are crumbling around me. God is good though and we Waldrop women are a strong bunch of ladies!

Pray for us as we learn to live without my Daddy.

Harder Than I Realized

2011-09-14T09:42:00.003-05:00

Losing a parent is harder than I ever really realized, so God please forgive me for not understanding before Saturday at 3:20 am. There is a vacant hole in my heart that just hurts. It hurts so bad that I can't even really explain to anybody that hasn't experienced this. It was so sudden and unexpected that it has all been a freight train of mourning in hyper speed. I really feel for people that lose people in accidents, because in a similar fashion we weren't expecting this news at all. I don't know which end is up. I haven't even had to process it all and he is in the ground. We all know in our heads that we have to be on this end of things at some point in life, but I am selfish and wanted him to live to be OLD, see his grandkids grow up and make more memories.

Seeing the hearse drive by my parents house and pause made it all too real. I did pretty well at the funeral home and even seeing him laying there one last time. I cried, but I was alright. But I was not alright the second that hearse drove by my parent's house. My Daddy lived there his entire life and was always running up and down the road. I knew it was the last time he'd be down that road and by his earthly home. So, I became a screeching hyperventilating basketcase. I felt like the world was swirling around me in fast forward and slow motion at the same time. I wanted to stomp and scream and cry and make myself feel better yet I couldn't stop what was happening and I still didn't feel better. I stepped out of the car and I couldn't hold it back. Denisha came and grabbed me as I sobbed, then Davida. I knew I needed to walk yet I couldn't feel like I could stand up straight. I turned around and got in my husband's arms while my knees buckled and I screamed into his chest. I didn't care who was there staring at me or anything else at the moment. Time had stopped. I finally pulled it together and held hands with my sister to the hole in the ground where my Daddy's body will lay.

My Daddy is gone! My DADDY! I'm so mad about that!!!! My mother just retired this year and he was feeling so much better lately with his back. They had plans to do a few fun things and had even discussed her quitting to retire full time (she still works 2 days a week). He never got to take my kids fishing and he was going to this fall and I can't call and ask him how to plant my garden next year.

My Mama lost her husband of 43 years and seeing her go through this valley, is so hard. You just have such big plans in life and sometimes life is cut too short by our earthly standards. We don't understand this. God bless people that go through deaths of spouses or children. Right now I just can't comprehend. The last 5 days have been the hardest I have ever experienced.

I have also held my children as they cried and I told them that it is OK to be sad. It breaks my heart even more to see my kids crying, mourning, and not understanding. They've never been faced with death in a real way before and I had prepared them for great grandparents passing, but I never mentioned grandparents. NEVER! I didn't realize this would be reversed in our lives. I didn't think I'd have to tell them that their G-Daddy is in heaven, which is good, but he can't be here to play with them anymore, feed them lifesaver, or tell silly stories. I fear that Chloe won't even remember him, Hannah barely, and it breaks my heart, because I want them to hold onto it. They have seen alot of crying, laughter, tears, and questioning this weekend and they are strong good kids. I know that. I wanted him to see them grow up. Micah's middle name is David and that is more special than ever now.

In the midst of all this, we know that Daddy is with Jesus and his back no longer aches and he can see his sister, Mother, and grandparents again. We know the people that truly care about us, because they reached out to us even before the funeral visitation. Those phone calls, visits, food, and kind words meant so much Saturday and Sunday.

We think around 450-500 people (over an hour's wait) was at the visitation, and about 50 at the graveside. My Daddy was a loved man!

On Sunday afternoon my mother called us out to see a rainbow. It was the most beautiful rainbow I have ever seen and for the first time all weekend, I saw some peace in my Mother's face and some joy looking up at that rainbow. It was beautiful to our eyes, but also warming to our souls as we were reminded of God's promises. God be with us during this difficult time.

9-10-11 is a Date I'll Never Forget

2011-09-10T20:35:00.004-05:00

I got a phone call at 3:15 this morning that has changed my life. When my phone rang, I knew immediately there was a problem when I saw my parent's number on the caller ID. I thought that maybe one of my parents was ill and needed help, my Papaw had died, or something worse. My mother was crying on the other end and told me that my Daddy had died. It was sudden. It was unexpected. It was all just too much for a moment. He went peacefully and without pain. I don't think we are ever prepared for these phone calls in life that change everything.

The entire day has been a whirlwind of watching coroners, morticians, family, friends, food that I can't quite stomach to even eat, funeral arrangements, telling my Papaw that he has outlived all his family, tears, memories, pictures, questions, concerns, holding my mother as he cries,and numbness. My stomach was in knots and it didn't feel real. The things I saw, heard, and felt today are things you never want to deal with, but have to some day. These are things that are a part of life, but shouldn't be happening to a 66 year old man. I didn't want to deal with these things until my parents had lived to be a ripe old age.

My Dad had a few health problems, had chronic pain from a back surgery, but had been feeling better lately and did not have a terminal illness. He made tomato juice yesterday, fiddled around outside, argued politics with my Papaw, and apparently drew his last breath within a couple of hours of midnight. My parents have had some eerily forshadowing conversations the past week or so and for that we are forever thankful and grateful.

Where was our warning in all this? I left this evening and went to my little children who also lost their G-Daddy at too young of an age to be thinking about this. He had big plans to take them fishing, which never happened and would feed them enough life savers to make them sick each time they visited. Not long ago, he sat out on my back patio after I moved and played Old Maid with my kids and would bluff them and get the biggest kick out of it. One reason I bought a brick house was due to my Daddy working many years laying brick. I can't hardly think of buying a house that is anything else.

Tonight I had to hold my children as they cried and told me that they wanted to be brave so I wouldn't cry. What sweet little souls! They make me smile even in the midst of sorrow and confusion.

Here is my parents and all the grandkids on (what we didn't know was) Daddy's last Christmas 2010:

Here is my Daddy a few years ago taking my kids for a Redneck hayride (ha ha):

Lewis and Clark Expedition in our own backyard

2011-09-09T10:46:00.004-05:00

We have been working on an Exploration unit since school began. The kids (and I) have learned quite a bit the past few weeks. I'm the parent/teacher and still wondering why we have Columbus on the calendar in the United States though. That is not to say that I have not taught my kids about him, but they also know that he never came to the United States and died thinking he was in the Indies. Yes, this has been a topic of many discussions around the Hughes house the past few weeks. Aren't we an interesting bunch?

Today we had fun though. We have been studying Lewis and Clark and how they wore Moccasins, which often tore, exposed their feet to the elements and prickly pear (ouch!), and yet they still kept going. In light of this and it being Fun Friday (every Friday is "Fun Friday") we made our own moccasins out of brown paper and went exploring in the yard. They walked on gravel, concrete, grass, mulch, and a tree stump. I tried to convince them to let me poke them with holly leaves to get the full effect, but they decided against this experiment. I don't blame them!

Ironically enough, by the end of the Hughes Expedition, their shoes were worn on the bottom and their feet was exposed.

We had some good silly fun while learning this morning:-)

On another note, I think we are changing the name of our homeschool. Tweaking it a bit, at least. I've never been satisfied with it. It is unimaginative and boring. When Micah came home that day crying and said he wanted me to pull him out, I wrote my letter in about 5 minutes and didn't care what our name was. In KY, you have to have a name by law, because you are essentially considered a private school. It is kind of too late this year, but we may unofficially switch anyways. This may seem silly to some, but this is the name that will quite possibly be on the top of transcripts, diplomas, etc. so it becomes kind of important when you think of it that way.

In the meantime, Jamie is off half the day today, so we are pushing along so we can go have some fun:-) The weekend is upon us and Friday is my favorite day of the week!

Add Another Movie to My List

2011-09-05T11:52:00.002-05:00

We just has this conversation a few nights ago at Jamie's parent's house. Movies that we have seen, and don't want to see again for whatever reason. It isn't that these movies are bad, but some are just emotionally draining. For example, Marley and Me is on my list and Saving Private Ryan is on Jamie's. Ironically enough, my favorite movie of all times is Steel Magnolias. It makes me laugh and cry, but the comic relief is really what makes this movie even though I cry every time I see it anyways. I know that a giggle is around the corner and the movie ends positive, so that makes it a good movie to watch more than once.

We watched Soul Surfer last night. It was a movie about a young lady who lost her arm in a shark attack, but had a strong faith in God, and that is very evident in her life. I swear I went through more tissues watching this movie than Steel Magnolias, Marley and Me, and every Nicholas Sparks movie combined. As soon as they show the mother getting the phone call and frantically rushing to the hospital (the ambulance actually passes her), I was in a weepy puddle the rest of the film. She is frantically chanting to God, "Please don't take her, please don't take her..." and I lost it some more.

I'd think, "Ok, the crying is over" then here would come another wave of crying. Even the end, which was positive, had me in a weepy mess. I really liked the movie, so don't get me wrong, it may just go in the ranks of movies that I'm glad I saw, but will never be watched again. Where is Weezer and Clairee when you need them to make you laugh? That is what this movie was missing...some of that comic relief.

"Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion" (Dolly Pardon as Truvy in Steel Magnolias)

Books and Reading

2011-09-03T11:17:00.003-05:00

Chloe had her first soccer practice the other night and a common conversation that occurs when we meet new people goes something like this:

Them: Where do your kids go to school?
Me: We homeschool
Them: Wow, I don't think I could ever do that! (then insert reason)
Me: (smile and nod, because I don't really know an appropriate response) Where do your kids go to school?

I don't know why people choose to validate their decisions, because that is why there are many choices in the world, but I digress.

This conversation went further than the above and the woman added, "I don't even have time to read my child a book much less homeschool her". I know I probably looked like a deer in the headlights at this point (with a smile and a nod). She said at night her child asks to read a book and she tells her to choose a book and just look at the pictures and make up a story, because she is too tired to read to her. Another mom that was sitting there chimed in and agreed.

I get it, I really do. Mommies work hard! If you work outside the home or not, you are a hard working woman. It is one of the biggest responsibilities we'll ever encounter. We are pulled in a million different directions, wear many hats, have many stresses, questions ourselves daily, ridden with Mommy guilt, and yet we love this job and tearfully dread the day our kids will move out!

But, I couldn't help but pause when this lady said this. She didn't read to her child regularly? That is just so hard for me to wrap my simple mind around. I'm the crazy lady that buys baby/children's books for Baby showers, because those are items that are saved, passed down, and enjoyed for years. You can go over any Grandma's house and they still have those treasured items packed away for the next generations to enjoy and they get to read them all over again with grandkids cuddled up in their laps.

My kids have always had books and it has absolutely nothing to do with homeschooling or not. It was already a big part of our lives. I have visited the library with my children since they could toddle. We've always hunkered down at some point during the evening and enjoyed a good book all snuggled up together. I love it when my kids say, "just one more chapter, I want to know what happens next!" These are where some memories are made!

Are we so busy these days, that we can't make time for these simple pleasures? My niece who teaches Kindergarten made a comment that some of her students didn't fill in their weekly reading log. The reason? They didn't have time. 5-10 minutes is really all the "time" you need sometimes though. Even in this busy world where time is a commodity, can you not find 5 minutes to reconnect and enjoy a story with your child?

I sometimes think I was born in the wrong generation. I'll exit off my soapbox now and leave this rant, and continue to read to my children and produce the future generation of nerds.

By the way, now that my kids are older, I catch them reading to each other. Now that is what warms my heart even more:-)

It is Almost September

2011-08-29T13:34:00.002-05:00

We have completed 4 weeks of school and working on week 5.
I am looking forward to our 3 day Labor Day weekend next weekend! Yay for Jamie not having his nose in a book all weekend too!
The windows are up, fans are on, and the kids did part of their reading and homework outside. Wonderful!
My sinuses are no longer functional, I am very sleepy, and I feel like my head is in a drum (welcome almost fall).
We bought our first gas grill this weekend (look at us getting all modern).
Upon noticing that we were out of milk this morning, my wonderful husband hurried and got dressed and got us stocked up, so I didn't have to drag 4 kids out to do this menial task.
Soccer season is upon us, and I'll have 3 girls playing this year.
My kids went to their first neighborhood birthday party this weekend.
You know you are in the year 2011, when your child's phonics lesson includes the word "internet."
You practically have to give away your first born child just to buy Sudafed anymore.
Did you know that Dorothy never had ruby slippers in the Wizard of Oz book? They were silver!
Sign language is fun to learn.
Sweet tea in the morning is my "coffee"
I'm looking forward to colorful leaves.

Congratulations Trevor!

2011-08-26T10:45:00.002-05:00

Right now (at this very moment), Trevor is in the midst of achieving a life long dream! He has spent the last 18 weeks at the Police Academy. We were unable to be there since it was a Friday and 4 hours away, but we are thinking of all of them. What an exciting time in their lives and I know that he will be glad to be home and Denisha will be glad to have her husband back full time also. He has been maced, beat up, and will be tazed at some point upon his return. It has been challenging academically, physically, and emotionally, but he is at the finish line!

He will be keeping the streets safe in my little town here and while I know he will do an excellent job, I will be sure not to speed in his jurisdiction:-) We need more men and women that are willing to work hard and put God first no matter what job they are doing.

I love it when that happens!

2011-08-22T13:57:00.002-05:00

It seems to happen a lot when 2 or 3 totally different events, conversations, lessons, etc line up and are about the same thing. I love that and it shows me how God is really in things even before we give him credit perhaps.

Here are a couple of examples. We are studying explorers in homeschool and Christopher Columbus was first. I have a totally unrelated book (different curriculum altogether) that is about Native Americans and mission focused and we read it every day for part of our Bible/Prayer time. The same week we studied Columbus, we also studied the Native Americans that he stumbled upon in 1492. It was totally a coincidence and I didn't read ahead to intentionally coordinate them. Very cool!

This past week, we are studying reverence to authorities in Bible with the kids, Jamie and I actually had a conversation on this topic Saturday evening (due to a facebook posting by somebody else actually), then the preacher did a sermon about it on Sunday. All totally unrelated yet intertwined in my life.

I cannot even begin to tell you the number of times this has happened. I really began to notice this more strongly once I started homeschooling, but it has probably always happened and maybe I'm just more in tune. I'm really not sure, but I can honestly say that I love it! I don't know why, but it just seems to amazing to me, but I'll admit that I'm easily amused;-)

On another note, our pictures are hung on the walls of our home, so it really feels nice now. I still need to paint a picture frame to match and print a picture we want to display from vacation, but otherwise, the house is pulled together. I know the garage is still in need of organization, but at least I can hide that from company. Ha Ha! It has been a lot of work, but so cool to see it all come together. We moved exactly 1 year ago yesterday and it is our 'home' and so cozy and comfortable to us now.

Why such criticism?

2011-08-13T13:33:00.003-05:00

I saw on facebook the other day where someone mentioned how expensive supplies, school fees, clothes, field trips, etc were each year and they were considering homeschooling. Now, I don't know whether this person was serious or it was more of a 'tongue in cheek' statement, because there was no indication either way. I just kind of shrugged it off.

Out of sheer curiosity, I looked later to see what her comments were. Most people were also complaining about how expensive 'back to school' season can be, but later there were 2 comments that kind of stuck out to me. I'm paraphrasing, but one said something like, 'homeschooling!?!?! Ha Ha Ha, please tell me you aren't serious' and the other was something like, 'ummmm...homeschooling? We need to talk'

I've really had mostly positive or indifferent opinions when we tell people what we do. Some people have questions, and I gladly answer them, because there are varying misconceptions that fly around about it. I have had 1 man from church that questioned me and then hysterically laughed in my face about it while I stood there dumbfounded. In his defense, he did come to me the next time and apologize (Ok, so I think his wife told him to, but it was still nice). I don't really care what he thinks or anybody else, because I don't do it for them. I also know that his laughter and jeering is not all that uncommon either though (even if done more discretely).

I've been at this for 18 months. I'm not an expert in the least, and I don't claim to be (I'm just willing to learn and take things 1 step at a time), but why do people care so much what other people do? Why such criticism of something that most people (I find) are pretty darn ignorant about. I truly don't spend that much time thinking about what other families do, so I think that is where most of my confusion comes in. If you are taking care of your children, pay your bills/taxes, and are a good law abiding citizen, I'm probably going to think that you are doing a darn good job at whatever you decide to do in your own family.

Proud of Hard Work

2011-08-11T12:05:00.003-05:00

Jamie started his new position at the end of June, so July was the first full month he had the job as a recruiter for the online operations. The recruiters at MCU have a little friendly competition each month and whoever has the most applicants gets to drive the MCU car. Guess who won it their first month on the job?!?!

I told my kids, "Daddy gets to drive the car, because he works very hard for us" and Abbi's response was, "I think he should work hard all the time" Ha Ha! I want them to know and realize the sacrifice that Jamie makes for this family. I appreciate it more than he'll ever realize. Because of his sacrifice, I'm able to focus my thoughts and attention to our kids, which is my main ministry during this season of my life and has been for almost 12 years.

The kids were so excited to have this snazzy car in the driveway (and to take a spin around the neighborhood), I was proud that he gets free gas for the month, and Jamie was thankful for the air conditioning since his Focus's air is busted.

I'm just really proud of Jamie though and I'm allowed to gush a bit for having the most fabulous, hard-working, selfless, and loving husband any woman could ever dream of. It is not because of this car. I don't really care about material things that much, but it is fun to have a little job perk for doing a good job. I'm so glad that he loves his new place of work and position.

How do you spell that?

2011-08-03T08:31:00.003-05:00

Yesterday as I was helping Chloe with her phonics workbook, we came to a picture of a rat. I said, "what is the beginning sound in rat?" She paused for a moment and said, "squeak squeak" in a little high pitched voice. I busted out laughing! I couldn't help it. When she realized her mistake, she started laughing too.

Teaching my kids brings me such joy:-)

First Day of School 2011-2012

2011-08-01T13:17:00.006-05:00

Today we started school. It is a big year around here! My last "baby" is now in Kindergarten (officially speaking)! She is the only child I have that has never stepped foot into "regular" school and so there were no tears from either me or my child. I cried at least a little when all my other 3 started Kindergarten. This is a big milestone in a child's life though, so don't think that this has not been a 'big deal' around here. I've pumped it up all summer and she was so excited!

My 2 big girls are smack dab in the middle of those elementary years being in the 3rd and 4th grades. So not huge milestones as far as their grade levels, but certainly growing too fast. 3rd and 4th grade does seem to be where kids turn the corner from being "little" to "big" though and their knowledge, work, and maturity start to show this. They are such sweet little ladies!

Micah is in 6th grade. This is "middle school" age around here, and he has not let me forget this. I know that entering youth group next year will be the major turn in our lives, but I will let him be proud of the fact that he is "middle school" for now. The hat he is wearing was something that he just had to have a couple of weeks ago and it has barely left his noggin since. Perhaps we need to invest in some different colors or something at least. It was one of the first real signs he's had to showing that he will be a teenager soon in his dress and style. I didn't even realize kids were wearing these until he got his and now I've noticed them. My oldest child and the one that basically started this whole Hughes Homeschool adventure.

It was a good day though. There is a bit of an adjustment period going on since we changed out some of our curriculum, but I think it is good changes. A little of their work is on the computer (not Chloe, of course) and they liked it even though we need to get used to how it all works. Jamie and I wrote them little notes to kick off the first day (words of encouragment). They really liked that. We got up and got doughnuts this morning and had a fan-tab-ulous day! I'm glad to be back in the swing of the school routine.

School on Monday!

2011-07-30T09:27:00.002-05:00

Monday we are back into the school routine. I'm very excited! All this week, I've had books spread out all over, looking them over and jotting down ideas. Wednesday, Jamie came home from work to find me sitting with 2 laptops in front of me trying to get both of the schedules synced up. So, just a huge planning week on my part with new curriculum, new grades, and 4 kids to formally teach this year.

I'm looking forward to the routine though and the kids are too. Chloe, interestingly enough, has Kindergarten anxiety even though she won't be going anywhere, which I never expected. Micah would have been going to Middle school, but his real change will come next year instead of this year as he enters the youth group at church. Of course, we can't forget Abbi in 4th grade and Hannah now in 3rd. My kids are growing up!

So, stay tuned, because I foresee a 'back to school' photo session on Monday:-)

The House is Complete!

2011-07-26T12:29:00.008-05:00

Well, the inside of the house was finished a couple of weeks ago. It is so nice for everything to be updated, fresh, and clean. The last room was the laundry area, which is very non-exciting for most to see the "before and after" picture, but still quite exciting for us since it was the last room!

Here is the before:

Jamie added a shelf that is "Buffy size" above the washer/dryer. I've never lived in a house where the shelf was functional to me, because it was always too high. So, it never really served a purpose to actually hold laundry detergent and such. I refurbished a curtain to hide all my junk behind there and it goes with the bathroom colors that is in the same room also.

We also added a couple of coat racks to help with clutter in the winter. The kids' shoes have been housed in this room since we moved already and I added a little personal touch above the shoe shelf. I couldn't resist adding their handprints in a purposeful way and not ones that need to be cleaned off:-)

We still have some garage/outside organization to take care of, but the inside of the house is complete. And I STILL need to get my pictures from Davida's!!!! However, the hard work is done! We have had to learn a lot along the way, but it has also been kind of fun to see the transformation too.

Here are the past blog links for the whole house transformation:

http://buffyblessings.blogspot.com/2010/09/blog-post.html
http://buffyblessings.blogspot.com/2010/09/micahs-room-reveal-and-soccer.html
http://buffyblessings.blogspot.com/2010/09/girls-room-re-do.html
http://buffyblessings.blogspot.com/2010/10/another-room-done.html
http://buffyblessings.blogspot.com/2010/10/micahs-birthday-new-bathroom-and-last.html
http://buffyblessings.blogspot.com/2010/11/blog-post.html
http://buffyblessings.blogspot.com/2011/01/ponderings-after-weekend.html
http://buffyblessings.blogspot.com/2011/06/big-room-reveal.html

Kids are so Funny!

2011-07-22T21:01:00.002-05:00

Today I had an appointment and as I got ready, the girls came in the bathroom to watch me fix my hair and make-up (not an unusual event). Last week, I made some fabric roses and put them on barrettes and headbands for the girls to wear. Well, I had on a floral shirt, so I decided to wear one of the hot pink fabric rose barrettes. So, I fixed my hair wavy, pulled my sides back, and clasped it with the rose. The girls started exclaiming how much they liked my hair, and I was taking the compliments and thanking them. Chloe exclaimed, "Mommy, you look just like a teenager" and I said, "well, thank you" (knowing full well that I didn't, but it was sweet) and she said, "Yea, you look just like a teenager in the back, but not so much from the front".

I died laughing! Ok, so I guess if I want to look young, just fix my hair like this and walk backwards into a room?

Our Sweet Little House Guest!

2011-07-21T16:59:00.003-05:00

Last week, we got to keep our little 5 month old niece, Leah, for 2 days. We all had a ball! She is so happy and easy to please. The kids loved trying to make her smile and giggle and she was well entertained during her visit. As soon as she'd make a discontent sound, there was a child by her side trying to make her happy again. It was cute, and they all did really good with her and she wasn't complaining about all the attention either! I'm afraid she might become quite spoiled if she hung around for too long. We just love babies!

Friday night the older kids had a lock-in at church, so we just had Chloe and Leah to contend with. We went outside in the cooler evening hours and Leah enjoyed being strolled around by her big cousin. I don't even want to venture to guess how many miles my almost 12 year old stroller has rolled.
It has taken me a bit to blog this week. If it hasn't been one thing, it has been another. I was sick with a stomach virus over the weekend, and it ended with a migraine headache. It was a useless weekend of me laying around in bed feeling miserable. Sunday, I went to do this blog and my SD card in my camera said it needed to be formatted. Well, that is never good!!! Formatting equals erasing everything! I have no idea what happened. So, my heart kind of plummeted to my toes when I realized ALL my vacation photos were also on this SD card. I treasure the pictures I take!

Jamie and I started doing some research and found a program to download to retrieve the pictures from a damaged SD card. $29.95 later, we have our pictures (all 400 of them!!!). Lesson learned....save your darn pictures to the external hard drive as soon as you walk in the door from the vacation no matter how sleepy you are!!! I guess it gives me an excuse to get a camera card with more memory though:-) Scary!

In other blog worthy news, our house painting/flooring is COMPLETE and I continually feel humbled and blessed to be in this home of ours. I love it! It may not be much to most people, but it is a dream come true for us. Love! I'll post pictures of the final room next time. It is just the laundry room, so not exciting, but we tried to make it cute anyways by adding some personal touches.

I've also been a cooking fiend. I'm doing make-ahead freezer meals with a TON of cooking. This should save me some time, money, and dishes in the evenings and when Jamie needs to grab a bite for lunch/dinner for work. Yay! I've gotten the kids involved too, so it has been kind of fun too. My kids are eager to learn cooking skills and I'm eager to teach them so I can have some extra hands around here. I'm anxious to see how this will stretch our budget.

Well, I've Decided...

2011-07-12T18:24:00.002-05:00

Next year, we are starting school in July! This year I had the house to take care of, but now we sit and wait for August 1st to roll around to have something to do. My kids love to play outside, but with these heat indexes, that is not an option. So, we are kind of 'stuck' and I feel like we are wasting time! Might as well school during the heat waves and take off when it is nice outside. Too late for this year unless I want some meltdowns to occur though. And I don't mean meltdowns due to the heat;-) I'm looking forward to getting cranked back up myself. They may not agree, although Chloe is super excited about being in Kindergarten!

We are adapting to Jamie's new schedule, and we'll need to figure out what to do once school rolls around. It is nice for him to get comp time and get to go in late . He is better rested and it allows for some extra study time during the week. And, of course, it allows some nice windows of time for appointments, family time, etc. I like having a guaranteed schedule rather than never knowing what is going on.

In less then 2 days we will get to do some baby spoiling. I know her parents are not looking forward to her first night away, but I guarantee that she will be well loved! We are looking forward to it. It is nice to squish a little baby every now and then.

So, school supplies line the aisles at Wal-Mart and it is time to start planning our adventures. I'm not sure who learns the most....them or me.

Nothing exciting

2011-07-09T10:01:00.003-05:00

I haven't blogged in a little bit. Really things have been kind of ordinary and unexciting around here, I suppose. There is nothing wrong with normal life and it is far from dull with 4 kids running around and a house project in the midst, but nothing blog worthy going on.

We are in the final stages of the utility room redo. I've painted my last wall and laid my last floor! I'm in the poly stage of the floor, which is mostly easy peasy and just a lot of waiting around for it to dry and cure.

There are a few little details that need to be completed after the floors cure next week, but as of this time next week, everything in this house will be complete. We won't discuss the garage that looks a bit like Sanford and Son. Jamie did take all the old carpet and dried paint cans to the dump though, which helps tremendously! At least I can close the door and pretend that the mess doesn't exist on that job.

So, I guess next week, we'll have our final before and after pictures. Of course, it is just a functional room and nothing exciting, but I'm very excited, because that means our house is completely redone!!!

Our summer is going by quicker than I like, but I'm also ready for a routine again. We will begin another year on August 1st:-)

Big Room Reveal!

2011-06-27T12:24:00.007-05:00

For the past month, we've been busy working on our living room, kitchen, and hallway. It is an open floor plan where it is essentially 1 room. It was a huge job and took about a month to complete. I still haven't gotten my family pictures up (maybe this week...they still need to be moved!), but wanted to go ahead and post my "before and after" pictures.

These before pictures were made the day after we moved. We didn't have furniture moved yet. You'll see in the "after" photos that my furniture is brown, so I referred to our living space for the past 10 months as the "brown cave"....depressing! Hello 1972...

After:

Yes the fruit is real. My mother asked me a while ago where I got my fruit and I guess I looked confused and said, "the grocery store." She thought it was fake. Nope...we just eat a lot of fruit!

This is a good representation of the color on the walls. I'm not a photographer, so excuse my poor quality pictures:-) The color seems "off" in most of these photos to me.

I finally found this rug on Saturday for a great price! It fits in perfectly and covers the entire room, which was my goal.
I also found these metal words this weekend. I love how simple they are, yet it represents the 2 things that are closest to our hearts. The kitchen ended up being a huge job by painting the cabinets, but I don't regret it a bit. It was worth the effort and really brightened up this space. I even spray painted the handles to match my decor and update them a bit. The bottom cabinets are a shade darker than the tops.

This piece of furniture was my grandmother's and I haven't the heart to paint it. So, I bought some scrapbook paper and double sided tape. Viola! A fresh new look that I can easily change out if I tire of it for around $3! Oh look there is 1 lonely picture there that got packed in a different box than its friends:-)
My sad little hallway just begging for some family photos! Maybe I'll update again once I get them hung.

This was some art/photography from Rachel that I received 2 Christmases ago. It never made it to Owensboro, because our van was overloaded with gifts, and then we ended up moving a few months later. So, it is just now up on the wall, but it looks beautiful and we love it!

A close up of our new backsplash:

I have 1 more room to go and I'm starting it today (I hope). It is just the utility room, so should be a cake walk in comparison.

Deciding on God's Will for Your Life

2011-06-22T13:01:00.004-05:00

There have been many times since my salvation, 14 years ago, where I've pondered God's will for our lives. God has a plan and it doesn't have to be so mysterious to us as we make it out to be. It is kind of like having a relationship with a person. I can look into the eyes or listen to the voice of Jamie or my kids and know what they are thinking sometimes. No, I'm not psychic, I just have a strong connection to them and relationship. The same is true for God. We have to keep the lines of communication open (both directions), stay in a good Bible teaching church, surround ourselves with brothers/sisters in Christ and it doesn't have to be a big hard thing to see God's direction. It almost happens naturally over time with little steps along the way. It is truly when we look back that we begin to really see how our steps lined up perfectly and it had to be God.

The funny thing about God's will for my life is that it is unique to me and only me. Someone from the outside can't really understand what God is telling me personally. Yes, I can share that communication with them, but I'm actually pretty positive that Jamie and I have made some illogical decisions along the way that people (even well meaning people) would stop and think, "What are those 2 thinking!?!?" Actually, we've probably made many of those decisions over the years. You see, nobody else can determine God's will for our lives. They can determine what God is leading them to do, but that is really all. As long as you don't see a person going directly against the Bible itself, how can you really know about another person's heart? You can't.

I look back over places we've been over the past 14 years and while we are not perfect in any way, I have seen God's hand in our lives over and over with jobs, our children, decisions, etc. I've seen God order our steps, soften our hearts, and put things in our path that we may have never even though of ourselves. Coincidence? Or God? I choose God!

I am sitting here amazed once again at God's handywork in our personal lives. We are very blessed to put it lightly. Some of the moments I feel stressed, discontent, or have a wavering faith, I can go back in my mind to many times where God was right there with us. He has lifted us up, carried us, ordered our steps, and shown us things that we would have never encountered on our own free will. It is amazing really!

Jamie got an extra blessing this week and again, I'm reminded that even when we aren't looking for something, God may just plop it right in your lap anyways (this has happened to us more than once!). I'm sitting here a very proud wife right now:-) I love my husband more than words can express and I hope that he realizes that even when I blow it.

Tybee Island 2011

2011-06-21T11:38:00.006-05:00

We just got back from a week long vacation a few days ago. It was very relaxing and the weather was wonderful! We basically spent most of our time soaking up the sun, listening to the ocean, building sandcastles, shell hunting, and playing in the water. It was a much needed break and time to reconnect with family.

I took a lot of pictures, but here are some highlights:

Chloe was the first to find a sand dollar. Micah also became an expert at finding them. We also found a starfish, but we threw all these back, because they were still alive. Chloe was kind of freaked out when she found out it was alive as you can see by her face.
Jamie eating the world's largest plate of seafood. It looked like it was meant for the entire table, but he ate it all.

Hannah getting ready to eat at a restaurant. Poor little thing had stomach issues all week. I think most was attributed to our diets being very different. She is now much better since we are back home and back to our regular eating.

Abbi built a "Sandman"

Chloe posing for a picture.

Micah loved being out in the ocean. He was almost too comfortable, because it made me a bit nervous sometimes, but he loved riding waves in.

And who could forget a little Leah spoiling! Abbi said that Leah was her favorite part of the trip:-)

Home was very welcome though after spending 2 weeks away between house renovation and vacation. It was so nice to sleep in my own bed!!! Our main living area needs a few more details, then I'll post pictures of the before and after. It is crazy how different it looks!

House Project Progress

2011-06-04T21:32:00.002-05:00

We are getting there! It seems like Lowes gets all my money right now! As a self-proclaimed tightwad, I hate that, but my house is looking fabulous, so I don't care:-) I think Jamie made 4 trips to Lowes last Saturday, and we've made several trips this week between things. I swear! Just when you think you are "finished"

Today I meant to get started on the floors. We didn't quite get there, but we did get a lot of those little jobs done that seem to bog you down the most. We did the backsplash in the kitchen. We were using paneling/beadboard like stuff (looks like tile), so we figured it might take 2 or 3 hours. Try doubling that! At 7:00 we looked up among the mess (black dust everywhere) in the kitchen and realized that starting the floors was just not even worth the effort at that point.

Our before and after pictures will almost be like those pictures in those kids' magazines where you have to find all the things that are different between the pictures. It has been a major inconvenience since it is the heart of the house, and my kids have eaten more sandwiches and frozen dinners than I care to share (and late dinners too!).

I'm so excited about seeing it transform though. It is just like I envisioned it and feels more like "home" with every added touch. As much work as all this has been, I feel so darn blessed to be sitting here in my own home (with a mortgage and escrow and everything...ha ha). Even almost a year later, it makes me smile and bubble over inside. What a blessing this has been to us and God has been so very good. He has just watched over us and helped us through so much this past year. We had a rough time, but he knows that and I can really see how he just lifted us up out of things and set us back on new ground with fresh starts and new blessings to enjoy. It has been amazing to look back on.

Before and After pictures coming soon...about 2 weeks or so I think:-)

3 Day Weekend

2011-05-30T20:14:00.002-05:00

This weekend was spent working on the main area of the house (living room, kitchen, and hall). It is still not complete, but well on its way. It was all paneling, which isn't hard to paint really, but a few extra steps. The difference is amazing though! It is just unbelievable already and I'm so excited! This is the area of the house where we spend the most time and for 9 months, it was like a dark brown cave. The moment we put the the primer on even, the room was brighter, because the light wasn't being sucked into the dark brown paneling!

Today, though was extra special, because I got a new oven! We got a sweet deal on it by buying the display model too! It looks so pretty and I had to make some cookies tonight just to try it out. They turned out perfectly brown around the edges and soft in the middle:-) I think my old oven only had one temperature and it was burn! I know I'm not a gourmet chef, but I knew I wasn't that bad either!

By the end the week, I should be laying floor. That is stinky, wet, nasty, and will force us to move out of our house for several days. But, we are seeing the end to the madness.

I will hold of and post pictures when we are all the way finished. That is still a few weeks away (we have a vacation stuck in there too)

Butterflies!!

2011-05-24T13:31:00.005-05:00

For Easter we got the kids a Butterfly Habitat. You get larvae in the mail and then you follow the instructions and in a couple of weeks, you get some butterflies. It was a lot of fun and we all enjoyed watching the process up close.

The larvae start our very tiny and they don't move around very much. I was convinced that half of them were dead, but they weren't.

Then, of course, they grow to full size caterpillars and are pretty active and eat on that food in the bottom of the container.

Once they have formed Chrysalis, you transfer them to the habitat and wait for them to hatch into butterflies.

The butterflies emerged in a 3 day span. The kids got to watch a couple of them emerge. They thought it was the hamster, but it was the butterfly instead. They wriggled out and they were very pretty:-)

Today, we let them go. They needed a little coaxing, but they flew up and away in a minute. The kids were all excited. We had one little guy that seemed to lag behind the rest. I bet he was the one that was hatched last, but he finally figured it out and took off. Abbi was a little disappointed that they didn't stay in the yard, but I told her that it was Ok. I have no intentions of being a butterfly farmer;-)

Who said I can't sneak a little school in without them knowing it.....shhhhhhh!

Goats and Babysitting

2011-05-23T17:09:00.007-05:00

Today we had a homeschool group field trip to see some baby goats. The kids had fun and they got to pet these goats and chickens. Chloe wasn't so sure about touching them, but she did like seeing them.

Last night we got a text to see if I could babysit little Miss Leah. Of course! Well, as long as they didn't mind her going on the goat trip:-) We stood in the shade, took some pictures, and she had fun watching all the kids running around. I made the kids get in the tub after we arrived home to wash the "goat" off their bodies. Ick!

She went to sleep on the way home and snoozed a bit. The kids just love to get smiles and coos out of her and she wasn't without entertainment all day. That is for sure! She seemed to like being outside, so we sat in the shade in the porch swing this afternoon too.

The funny thing is that she had just gone to sleep when Rachel walked in. Literally 1 minute before, she had spit the pacifier out and was taking a good snooze. She heard her mommy's voice and her eyes sprang open and she started smiling and cooing. So cute! You could tell that she missed her Mommy and was happy to see her. So much so that it woke her up:-) Very sweet!

The kids loved her though and the orange monkey is still the favorite toy. I saved very few baby toys from my kids. I have one small plastic container with an assortment of links, rattles, teethers, and the orange monkey. ALL my kids loved the orange monkey and any baby that has played with him since. I really wonder if I should open him up and make sure it is only stuffings in there;-) I'm beginning to wonder.

Earrings!!

2011-05-20T15:31:00.003-05:00

All of my girls have pierced ears now! Chloe had been wanting to get hers done since her birthday (money burning her pocket), but we have not been to Paducah in a few weeks. Jamie is off today, which meant some extreme grocery shopping since my cabinets were looking like Old Mother Hubbard. I had almost forgotten about her earrings until she reminded me:-)

So, the first stop was the mall. We warned her that it would hurt, but she still wanted them done. She chose her earrings (December birthstone, which is blueish) and the girl that was working today was great with her. Since it was not Saturday, she had to get them done 1 at a time, but she was fast, and it was over quickly. Whew!

I will say that she was the FIRST girl I had that didn't want to sit in my lap for this. Should I be proud of my big girl or feel a bit shafted? I'm not sure, but nevertheless, it was fun to watch from the outside this time.

Anxious to get her ears pierced:

Is she still sure of her decision?

Making the marks:

All done with a few tears:

Now proud of her new earrings and smiling again:

Is it that time of year already?

2011-05-19T12:45:00.002-05:00

School is out, activities are drawing to a close, and summer is upon us! Micah finished up his last drama class (Pail of Tadpoles) at the Playhouse in the Park on Tuesday. They did 2 little skits for the finale and he was "into" character as usual. He loves being up on the stage and I hope that he can keep using his talents in the future. He did not get this from me, I know that for sure!!!!

Don't Mess with Me, Coach!

2011-05-16T21:42:00.003-05:00

Soccer season is practically over. I really do love it. I love to watch my kids having fun and getting to shine in something that is all their own. I'm one of the idiot parents that whoops and hollers when my child scores and my favorite thing is when they do something good (like score a goal or make a good play) and turn around and beam from ear to ear seeing if we saw it all. I make sure that they know that I saw every second. I'm very proud of them.

Hannah has had the same coach for fall and spring. I know that getting volunteers is like pulling teeth at times, but sometimes I just have to sit and shake my head at this woman. She has successfully ran off 2 families this season by talking harshly and calling the little girls names. That isn't anything compared to last season where our team started dropping off like flies and we barely had enough to scrape together a team to play at the games.

This season has been a series of games where she seems to like to bench the same girls over and over. At this level, it is not skill based, it is recreational, and they should all get equal playing time. There is one girl that hasn't even looked at the bench this season and it is just really hard for me to keep my mouth shut.

A few weeks ago, she benched Hannah more than half the game, and we spoke up and told her. She then played Hannah the rest of the game. Saturday, I had to speak up, because again, she was benched half the game (while others never sat) and Sunday Jamie went over and told her that Hannah had been benched 3X and some of the other girls hadn't been at all.

It is just so annoying, because why should I have to keep up with this? Why can't she just be fair and give them all this experience? Why should my child be punished for being quiet and compliant? They usually only have to sit 1 girl out and there are 6, so all they'd ever have to sit is 10 minutes. If there are 2 spares, maybe a quarter. NEVER should a girl have to sit half the game as small as their team is.

So, today I go to practice and was the only one that showed up besides the coach. I rolled down my window and told her that I guessed everybody was busy. She proceeded to gripe (unknowingly) about the Dad that had come to her yesterday about benching his daughter too much. I looked at her very casually and said, "yes that was my husband and it was my daughter, Hannah, that you benched 3X" You should have seen the deer in the headlights look I got that moment. She walked right into that one! It was almost comical.

She started back-pedaling and I just decided that this was my opportunity to tell her what I thought. I was nice (even my kids said so...ha ha), but I told her that the kids needed equal play time, and that I was going to always look out for my daughter. She then proceeded to tell me that one of the girls (the high scoring one that never sees the bench) says they don't want to sit out. I said, "Do you really think that any 1st or 2nd grader WANTS to sit out? My child is not going to tell you that, because I've taught her to be respectful of adults, but it is not the girls' jobs to tell you who to bench or not"

I have to say that it went rather well and I said my piece. We have 1 more game and I would bet my bank account that she won't remember who Hannah is. After all, she calls another girl Hannah and didn't know that Jamie was her Dad even though we've been to every game for 2 seasons. I just keep telling myself that we only have to deal with her one more time!

I will tell you this....I will explicitly tell the people at registration in the fall to write in big bold letters that I do not want this woman for a coach ever again. I'm so tired of my little girl getting the raw end of the stick, because she is obedient and respectful. Hannah went on to score 2 goals in the measly half game that she played on Sunday.

She is moving up in the fall and will play with Abbi's team. Poor little Hannah. I'm proud of both of my girls, but mostly I just want them to be treated respectfully in this life and have fun. She has still yet to complain. It has been us (as the parents) sitting and watching this that has grumbled. I just want the best for my kids:-) They deserve it!

Don't mess with Mama Bear!

Last Day of School!

2011-05-14T09:05:00.003-05:00

Well, we made it our first full year of 180 days! I think that we have all learned a lot, actually. I've gotten to see my kids grow, change, learn, and discover in ways that I've never a part of before. There were days that they'd get frustrated and we'd take a step back and look at it another way. Then when they'd finally learn that one thing that was frustrating them, they were so proud of themselves and their confidence soared!

This week, we finished up our curriculum and yesterday I graded those final tests and tucked all of it away in a box. I'm very proud of my kids and they make teaching them very easy:-)

We also celebrated last night by going out to eat, which is a rare treat for us. We ended in Murray, because Jamie needed some new shoes and went to the Cracker Barrel. For whatever reason, they love the Cracker Barrel and they didn't even eat pancakes this time;-)

Now we can relax a bit (or at least change our pace). We are still going to do some "light" school this summer, but fun stuff (no workbooks). The kids are excited and now it is time for house renovation phase 2! I'm excited....and scared! Our lives are getting ready to be very inconvenienced!

Today Jamie is at work for MCU graduation, so I'll be a lonely soccer mom this morning! Off we go with barely a break between games, so I'm packing PB&J to eat there.

Mother's Day Weekend

2011-05-09T14:26:00.002-05:00

Saturday we had another day at the soccer field. It was cold! Hannah's team won, Abbi's won one and tied one. The tied game was with boys, their second game (so they were getting tired), and they did a great job. I still consider them undefeated at this point. Hannah does great at defending and Abbi is quick, and assists great! She is good at gaining control of the ball and getting it in the direction and to the player it needs to go. Her coach is really good with them and is very fair. I wish I could say the same for Hannah's. I'm really hoping I do not have to deal with her coach in the future for many reasons. I get very frustrated. 2 more weeks of soccer!

Sunday was Mother's day and the kids sang at church with Micah doing a solo. All the kids did great and their hard work showed. My mother came to see them sing, which they were so excited about. The pastor's wife came up and said, "Are you G-Mama, because all I kept hearing was that G-Mama was coming to watch." It was nice to be with my mom at church on Mother's day too. She is a great mother and friend to me. I wonder if she'll ever really realize how important she is in my life. She has helped me out several times lately (even in the wee hours of the morning when Jamie needed to head to the ER) when I needed her and has never complained. What would I do without her?

I remember a few days last year I literally called her hysterical (I wonder if she even could understand what I was saying sometimes) when things were going roughly in our lives and she would listen and bring me back down to earth, calm my fears, and help me to refocus. She was over 250 miles away at the time, but was still the first person that found out everything probably. She is my #1 cheerleader in life in many ways.

Jamie grilled out last night and didn't buy me junk food (upon my request), which was nice. I sat out on my porch swing watching my kids play. Being a mommy is what defines me in so many ways in this season in my life. I know that this time is fleeting quickly though and I'm trying to enjoy every minute of it. I'm not perfect. I get frustrated, disappointed, exhausted, etc. I have the Mommy guilt like everybody else no matter what I do, but in the end, I just hope that my kids look back and realize that I did the best I knew how to do at that time. That is my hope anyways.

Beautiful!!

2011-05-01T11:23:00.003-05:00

Yesterday we began our day at 8:00 on the soccer field and watched Hannah's poor little team get their butts kicked. It was almost painful to watch. She has fun though, and that is what counts. I think some of the little girls on the team have great potential, but are not being taught and challenged in practice, which is frustrating, but life goes on.

Abbi's team played that afternoon and her team won and she scored the final goal:-) She was so proud of herself. She turned around from that point and just beamed the biggest brightest smile I've ever seen. It made me happy, because she was so proud of herself. It was a really good team too.

Then we headed to Murray to get a close up look at Jordyn in her prom dress. I snapped a few photos, but I'll leave the real photography to Rachel! She looked beautiful and seemed so excited and happy. I can't believe that she is old enough to be going to prom, graduate, and college soon!

We came home, got washed up, ate, and headed back to Murray for Grand March. The girls went with me. I was a little worried about Chloe not being able to sit that long, but she did perfect and didn't say a word until the last little bit when she said, "I feel like I want to lay down". Yea, I bet! I was after 9:00 and we had been going since early that morning. They had a ball though and loved seeing all the decorations and pretty dresses. They all went up to Jordyn when we first arrived and touched her dress since I didn't allow it with dirty soccer hands earlier that day.

Micah and Jamie stayed home and did "guy stuff" or something. I don't really know. It was a fun day though and even though it ended in rain, the beautiful sun shone through all during the day and waited for all the "Cinderellas" to get inside before it began. Everybody at prom looked beautiful, but not more beautiful than my middle niece who is growing much too fast!

A Great Weekend!

2011-04-25T11:43:00.006-05:00

It didn't hurt that it was a 3 day weekend either! Jamie was off on Friday for "Good Friday" which was a great blessing. Life has been extremely crazy and busy lately. Not always in a bad way, but I miss my hubby when his schedule is nuts! When his schedule is nuts, then it automatically makes my schedule nuts, so it is a vicious cycle. But This weekend was a great way to recoup from the past few weeks!

Friday, Jamie got gravel and landscaping brick for our front yard. The past few weeks have made a vast improvement to the front of our house. We have trimmed shrubs (which are blooming and beautiful right now), got rid of some ugly bushes, hung some ferns, and now have things finished off with brick and gravel. I'll post a picture as soon as it is sunny again. It actually looks like someone lives here now.

Friday night, John, Rachel, and Leah came over for some grilling and catching up. Little Leah is growing and giving us some smiles and coos. The kids took great joy in receiving a gummy grin in reward for their goofy faces. We'll have to do it again sometime, but it'll have to wait for a while now, because our house renovation phase II is about to begin:-)

Chloe spent the night with Denisha Friday night, so she left a little after dinner and had a good time egg hunting at Denisha's church on Saturday. I was kind of glad that she had something to do, because Soccer season started with a bang. We had a picture appointment at 7:45 for a team photo and we finally finished about the time the storm was brewing at 2:30. The Hughes girls kicked butt and won all around. It was fun though . I really like watching the soccer games and seeing them in action. It is a fun sport. So we all came home a little worn out, but in a good way.

Of course, yesterday we woke up to Easter baskets and church, which was fabulous! We couldn't hunt eggs, so we decided to go see "Hop" at the movies, which was really cute and enjoyable even for the adults. We came home and celebrated Chloe's birthday later that evening with chicken nuggets, fries, and a big cookie. She has a cold, so I don't think she enjoyed it as much as she should have, but she was happy nevertheless. We got her pet shop that comes with a Blythe doll and some play dough accessories. That seems to be her "thing" at the moment.

Happy Birthday Chloe!!! & Easter Sunday

2011-04-24T17:48:00.004-05:00

Today is a big day in the Hughes house! Actually it has been a big enjoyable weekend, but today I'm focusing on my "baby" girl turning 5 and my Savior who is alive!! I woke up to this morning to Chloe busting in my room with a grin from ear to ear. She was so excited about her birthday, but also there was Easter baskets waiting on the table. I can hardly believe how fast kids grow up, but my baby is now 5! How is that even possible?

5 years ago, I went to work like a normal day and around lunchtime I discovered that my pre-labor might be becoming a little more predictable and a little more uncomfortable, but I worked until closing time anyways. I didn't figure it would make much difference, so I continued on kind of smiling through contractions and realizing that it was going to be a long day. I came home, put some comfy clothes on, flopped on the couch and told Jamie that I really just wanted to lay down for a few moments, take a bath, and relax a bit before heading to the hospital. Of course, considering, I had Hannah very quickly, he was worried, he'd have to deliver a baby, and decided to get me there against my wishes.

I arrived at almost 5cm and active labor. Things progressed slowly actually. She was my longest labor. How can a 4th baby be the longest labor, but she was. It got kind of "ugly" towards the end and there might have been a little screaming going on that a few certain people in the waiting room might have been able to hear (oops!). I didn't really yell with the other 3 babies either. When they say all labor/deliveries are different, they are exactly correct.

She was born at 36 weeks, 6 pounds even, 18 inches long, pink, bald, and perfect! She didn't any assistance after birth and she stayed in our room the entire time, which was bliss! My little grand finale!

Chloe is now a "big" girl. She has energy oozing out every pore in her body and she will talk to whoever will listen (nonstop talking from this kid). She is a hoot to be around and sharp as a tack! She will say the funniest things and will keep you on your toes. Jamie and I went into the parenthood thing with 3 kids in mind, but we both had it laid on our hearts to just have 1 more and I cannot imagine NOT having her around. She completed our family! I just can't believe it is going by so quickly!

This morning is also the day my Savior arose and I'm forever amazed at his love for me! I don't deserve it, but he gives it anyways. Our service was amazing this morning and my kids were adorable in their matching outfits:-)

PS: Happy Birthday Davida! I think it would be hard to top the present I was able to be a part of 5 years ago:-) Also Happy Birthday to my sweet Grandmother (my 2nd Mom in the world) who also was born on this day.

My Apologies....Ha Ha!

2011-04-23T15:20:00.002-05:00

I want to apologize to anyone I might have "vented" to about Jamie's job taking him away from me this month so much. Jamie is a very hands-on Dad, so when he isn't around in the evenings, I not only miss my adult conversation for they day, I also miss my extra parenting hands. I've become a Mom Taxi with soccer season in full swing, Micah's drama classes in Murray, homeschooling group (also in Murray), and the regular day-to-day activities.

I love my kids to bits and I'm trying my best to invest myself into them through Christ on a daily basis. But....but.....but sometimes I practically dash outside and tackle Jamie when he gets home at 5:15 already, because sometimes I want to have a conversation with somebody that is over 4'9! And, no the Librarian doesn't count:-) I just get really stressed and have more anxiety problems when our schedules are so "off" of one another.

I really am much appreciative and BLESSED for Jamie to have a job that he LOVES even if it steals him away sometimes. He has been there for almost a year and I guess this is the first time that I've just been really frustrated. I feel frazzled some days with all the running, which isn't that huge of a deal in the grand scheme of things, but a hot meal through the week might be a nice thing:-) I know that this time last year, we were praising God above for such a swift answer to the direction in our lives. It was a total dependence on God and we learned more than I can ever express in words. I remember how sweet the phone call was when he told me they offered him the job on the way HOME from the interview (miracle of miracles!). He is happy.....that makes me happy.

May schedule seems to be better, so I guess he just got it all at once. So, be prepared, I might be a bit frustrated again around this time next year with his job stealing him away. Just warning anybody that might be in the path of my whining next time.

God has just walked right along with us in this path.

Traveling Woes

2011-04-20T13:03:00.002-05:00

Last night I finally lost it! For the past 3 weeks, Jamie has literally been gone more than he is at home. We are both mentally and physically exhausted from this horrible schedule. I'm glad he loves his job, but if things don't lighten up soon, I'm going to be calling Mr. President myself and asking for my husband back. This is utterly ridiculous!!!!

I've become Mom Taxi now that soccer season is in full swing. I'm ready for it to be over and they have not even had their first games yet! I'm there 3 times a week for practice in the evenings (coming home at 6:30 or 7:30 depending), which leaves 'hot meals' out of the question unless you count a toaster waffle or canned ravioli. Jamie rolls in about 11pm and then we get up bright and early the next day and repeat the process all over again.

Please, can I have a day where I have NOWHERE to go and can wear my PJ's all day? Please...maybe in June!

Happy Birthday Hannah!!!

2011-04-18T22:02:00.004-05:00

I had Hannah after 5pm on this day 8 years ago. It was the day that I became a mother of 3. She was my only surprise baby, so we had no idea what to expect. The nurses and doctors were not quite prepared for the rapid labor/delivery that I had (ouch is all I can say about that!), and I'll never forget when the doctor said, "It's a girl!" It took me by surprise, but in a good way. She had a headful of black hair, which gradually started falling out and was soon replaced with lighter (and now blonde) locks. How in the world did Jamie and I have a blonde?

She is grown up to be such a sweet person with just the kindest heart. Just the other day, there were about 2 Tablespoons of peanut butter and she had claimed it. I then hear Chloe say, "that is what I wanted" and I explained to Chloe that Hannah wanted it and that she could choose something else (not a big deal) and when I turn around Chloe is eating the peanut butter. I questioned Hannah about it, and she said, "that's Ok, I wanted her to have it". That is just one example on one day with one person in this family. It never fails that Hannah will put others before herself and that is a special gift from God. We call her a 'mother hen', but she kind of mother hens everybody.

She is just a blessing to have in our lives and I cannot imagine life without her. God is going to do mighty things through Hannah's life, because he already has. She will often just jump up in my arms for an extra hug as she is walking by. Sometimes, even us Mommy's need that extra hug to get us through a busy day.

We celebrated her birthday yesterday for the most part. We still tried to make today special for her, but Jamie has class on Monday's. The day she realized her birthday was on a Monday, she cried. We were able to compromise and she was even more excited to have 2 birthday days and we went and ate lunch with Jamie today at work. I think that getting her presents early and having a fun school day helped make up for it.

Happy Birthday Hannah! You are finally 8 with a snaggle tooth smile and a heart of gold! We love you very much!

Getting Old!

2011-04-13T08:53:00.002-05:00

Jamie and I have been having a good giggle about the "old" things that are now in our lives. I don't mean that in a bad way. In fact, I really do love the age that we are! We are raising our children, we are settled, have our goals in mind, etc. I think we'll look back at our 30's with a smile on our faces in many ways, but we now have reminders that we are getting old:-)

wrinkles
glasses (Ok, so that is not an old thing for me, but still)
gray hair
sensitive teeth
insomnia
melatonin (see comment above)
medication boxes
fiber
medical tests
Boost
heating pad
earlier bedtimes
backaches
spider veins
cracking bones
grunting as you get up out of an extended seated position
sensitive stomachs
porch swing
Ben gay
saying things like "kids these days"
enjoying the shade and sunscreen more than the sun(tan)

The thing is, we joke about how it will only get worse! Now when Jamie starts wearing black socks with running shoes or I wear a blue curly hairdo, then we may need intervention. Until then, we'll just take it as it is and realize that life is very short, and that I'd rather be growing old with Jamie and my kids around than to stay young forever without them in my life.

About a year Later...

2011-04-12T12:52:00.003-05:00

It was this exact day last year that Jamie came to me and told me that we needed to move with 100% certainty in his voice. He had actually approached me 2 days prior to this at a spring break camp that we did with the youth. Jamie already had resumes out (since January), we were just waiting on God's intervention, and trying to be patient. Things kind of hit us in the face at camp and it became a more urgent situation quicker than we were mentally or physically prepared for.

I don't really remember the exact words of the conversation that night, but I do remember my rush of feelings, the look on my husband's face with tears streaming down his face and the urgency in his voice. I was frightened beyond anything that I had ever felt before. I cried, and looked over at him as he pleaded with me to understand. He promised me that he would take care of us, but that we had to go. I looked up at him and told him that I trusted him. He called his parents right after that conversation and they offered us a place to stay while we were in limbo. It was not ideal for them or us, but it was a necessary thing for us to hear to move forward in this decision. That night, we layed in bed and prayed together for things to come. He went into work the next day and called me later and told me that he had resigned with a 2 month notice. I cried pretty much the entire day away (from beginning to end). My friend that I met every week for a playdate, had postponed to Thursday and I was so thankful!

We carried on as usual that week with church activities, teachings, etc. It was awkward. I lived in a puddle of tears and stress, lack of sleep, and by the end of the week, Jamie had changed the 2 month resignation to a 2 week resignation. Now things got even scarier and crazier in our lives. There were a couple of frantic phone calls to my sweet mother where I literally was freaking out and bawling on the other end. I was sending resumes out like crazy. Jamie was on the phone to everybody he knew trying to line up a job....anything to pay bills and possibly give us insurance.

So that next Wednesday night, he officially resigned with the church with no job prospects, home, or real sense of what was going on in our lives. It was uncomfortable, but Jamie held it together beautifully. We got some questions that were difficult to answer along the way. We told everybody that God was moving us on. No lie! We just didn't know where at that moment!

We were obedient to God's wishes, and you know what we got almost as soon as we walked in the door that SAME night? A phone call from Dr. Cecil (Mid-Continent University) and they wanted Jamie's resume emailed to them immediately. I think we were both too scared to be excited at the time. But things moved quickly and he had an interview the next Monday and a job lined up 30 minutes after the interview. All these things are amazing!!!! We never expected this, but it confirmed to us that God was watching out for us and we were smack dab in the middle of something amazing he had planned. Jamie was slated to start 2 days after we moved:-) The rest is history there. He loves his job!

We lived with Jamie's parents 3 1/2 months. It is weird to me now, because I don't really remember a lot about last summer. Bits and pieces come to me, but sometimes the kids will say, "remember last summer when..." No, I really don't. That kind of freaks me out in a way. I know that I was in a weird depressive state that I tried desperately to hide, but probably didn't succeed to well most of the time.

We moved again at the end of August on a very hot summer day to our new home. The first real home we've ever owned! It was a dream come true! Jamie is working on his master's degree, loves his job, and off every weekend (for the first time in 11 years). We started homeschool and house renovation and it was overwhelming, but it was hard to really care since we didn't even have a home for almost 4 months.

We also found a church that is just a breathe of fresh air to my soul and mind. I have learned so much in this short period of time. I'm not being "preached at," I'm being challenged and made to think...big difference!

I know this post is long, but I contemplate the past year a lot. It is still a regular conversation in the Hughes house, but the conversations are turning around. I still won't look back and think, "yippee I'm so happy that happened to us" but I can look back and see where God just carried us along his will and path. We had to put our faith and trust in him like never before and he blessed us so much for it. My faith in God is different having experienced the things we endured. Our decisions were not logical, but they were God's will. I'll never understand it all. We will forever wear a scar from the experiences we have encountered, which hurt sometimes, and still brings tears in our eyes and sometimes negative feelings, but more often than not, we are so glad that God changed our direction.

We are blessed above imagination!

All is Well

2011-04-08T12:03:00.002-05:00

Jamie had a medical test today and outside of finding a little "something" that is most likely a "nothing" and the doctor being a bit surprised since we are younger, things are fine. He has a medication to take and may be put on a more regular track for screenings, but otherwise, it was good news. So, all in all, I guess it was good that he went so that he won't have bigger problems crop up later on.

Lately, he has been feeling much better by just watching his diet closer, so hopefully he can keep on that track and still not miss out on too many good foods in the process. He is such a "foodie" loving all kinds of foods, so this will be a bit hard. He has recently dropped about 10 pounds though, so is trying to gain that back since he is so small anyways. He doesn't have weight to spare!

And, just for the record, "medicated drunk Jamie" came out again today and in addition to embarrassing me royally in front of my father-in-law (although I will say what he said was a bit better than the last surgery, but at least I was alone!), talking about the "hot" doctor (over and over), telling me that he took the same medication that killed Michael Jackson (over and over), he also asked for beer from the nurse (and later Liquor). WHAT!?!?! Seriously...WHAT!?!?!

I think we are going to try to do a little school today. We are so close to being finished for the year, but I could really stand to take a nap myself! For some reason my anxiety was very high last night (you'd think I was the one having the procedure) and I have been recently having very crazy irrational fears. I swear!

And, as if health insurance isn't dumb enough, we found out yesterday how really DUMB it is. All I can say is thank the Lord (literally) for the hefty tax refund!!!!! God is always providing and he is always faithful and good!

Field Trip

2011-04-04T14:58:00.003-05:00

We headed to Paducah on Friday for a field trip. Jamie was off on Spring Break, so it was a good time to head out and do something fun. We went to the River Discovery Center at Paducah on the riverfront. It was kind of neat to learn all about the rivers. We took a stroll along looking at the murals that have been painted on the river wall and looked at the old train that was sitting there too. We did find a little ice cream shop, which the kids enjoyed. It was a fun day. It could have been a little warmer, but no complaints!

26 more days of school for our homeschool!!!!! That lands us in the middle of the second week of May. Yay! Of course, even though we are off for summer "break" we are still going to keep up with our math skills (through fun games), reading, and typing. They are OK with that:-)

On another note, you can read Jamie's blog about our movie incident. The Better Business Bureau was contacted and they have already contacted him and now we wait and see how he'll respond. It is horrible the way that people treat their consumers, but it is kind of funny now that it is over. We actually got "kicked out" of a place of business. It is kind of laughable. All we did was ask 'why' when he didn't accept our gift certificates, which his signature was on. I truly believe that we could have gone on another weekend and chosen another movie and he would have cooked up another excuse. Kind of makes me wonder if he is stealing, but I guess we'll never know that part.

It was too hard to be too upset, because we received an answer to prayer that same day. I sat here Saturday morning going through medical bills, looking at our budget, and beginning to wonder how it would all get worked out. I just prayed for some answers and about 2 hours later, we got a phone call from our accountant that was very good! Exactly what we needed! God is always good and somehow I still worry and fret. Why is that?

The Amazing Alligator!

2011-03-31T14:54:00.005-05:00

Denisha brought the kids some little treats the other day. She got the girls some socks and got Micah this alligator. It said to put him in water and he would grow. It was so funny. Micah would get his ruler out each day and report his growth and he finally stopped growing after about a week. I wish I had gotten a picture of him holding it before he grew, because the picture doesn't do it justice. It didn't just grow in length, but width and all around. He is made out of some weird rubbery material. Once he is dried off, he isn't slimy or anything. He just feels similar to a rubber ball or something similar.

So, now he is back on his dresser and is shrinking. I'm not sure he'll get as small as he originally started, but he is slowly going down. He does "sweat" a bit in this process, but not too bad.

Who knew that $1 could bring such entertainment for the whole family:-)

Here is a picture of him when he came out of the package. He was just about 6 inches long:

Here is a picture of him next to the same ruler and Micah holding him:

Happy Birthday to Jamie!

2011-03-30T08:54:00.002-05:00

Today is Jamie's birthday! We laugh, because we are constantly reminded with doctor's appointments, aching bones, heartburn, wrinkles, and gray hair (him not me...ha ha!) that we aren't getting any younger! I get teased for 5 days out of every year and this year was no exception. I still say that if you are a Christian and truly believe that life begins at conception, then Jamie is technically older than me:-) It is an ongoing yearly argument that we'll never win.

Jamie is the first best thing that has happened in my life this side of heaven. He is a Godly husband and Daddy and wonderful example to our children. I admire his initiative to continue his education and he works darn hard for this family! He encourages all of us in different ways, and I love to just sit back and watch him be a "Daddy" to these 4 blessings that we get to share. I know there are days where he is bone tired, but he still musters up enough energy to give us a little of his time and efforts each day. I love him for that! I really cannot imagine my life without Jamie in it.

Happy Birthday Baby, the love of my life, the best Daddy I've ever seen, and the most amazing man I've ever met. Thank you for being you!

A Perfect Weekend

2011-03-21T13:46:00.005-05:00

This was about the most perfect weekend we've had in a while. It was just plain ol' fun! Friday night we stayed up late with the kids and played "Clue" (see Jamie's post about that). Saturday, we worked in the yard a little bit, put up our porch swing (FINALLY!) and enjoyed the beautiful sunshine! Nisha and Trevor came over later that afternoon, we walked to the park, flew a kite, played disc golf (well the men/boy/and 1 girl did), etc. We walked back to the house to grill for supper and ended the night staying up a bit again for a movie. Of course yesterday we attended church twice, I sat out on my porch swing in the shade reading a magazine while the kids played, took a little nap, and ended the day watching some TV and soaking up some extra "Jamie time" since he'll be incredibly busy this week with school and work.

We also had a proposition from church about a month ago. It was intriguing, but the more we prayed about it, discussed it, dissected it, imagined it, we decided that we had to turn it down. I cannot imagine adding 1 more thing to our plates right now! Our pastor was amazingly understanding and we both said that we'd be HAPPY to be a part of some kind of team effort, but we cannot do this alone....not now! I love being on this end of church again. I love that we can teach classes, chaperone events, be appreciated for who we are, and not have all the pressures from it. Since going to that church in August, I've just felt amazingly blessed and I've learned more in this short while than probably several years of some of the other churches we've been at. That is not to say that all the churches we've been a part of wasn't a learning experience. It is just different and in an amazingly refreshing and good way. I LOVE being a volunteer and playing my part as a member right now.

I think people tend to forget that working 43+ hours a week and going to a full time Master's program and writing a thesis now is really more than anybody needs stress for. Jamie is wonderful to make time for us and he sacrifices a lot of sleep for himself in order to complete his education. I'm proud of him and I think sometimes that I wonder how he is fitting it all in. He is in pursuit of a dream, and I support that, respect that, and honor that. But to just say that he is "busy" is an understatement.

I guess it has just hung in my mind all day though. We just aren't 'used' to this side of the coin just yet and having to tell someone 'no' has never really been a choice before. I know that there are people that will be disappointed in our choice when they hear, but in the end, we answer to God and God alone for the choices we make in any aspect of our life.

This morning I got up earlier than usual and went for a walk/jog on the walking trails that we live by. It was a gorgeous spring morning and I need to kick myself into a better shape. A couple of years ago, I exercised daily, had dropped close to 20 pounds and felt great, energetic, and just generally better. Well, last year, I got depressed, and well, I got depressed...the rest is kind of history. I need to get back to a healthy routine again. It was/is never about a scale to me, but just being healthy and Lord knows that we aren't getting any younger. We'll find that out even more here in a few days:-)

I've Gone to the Dark Side

2011-03-18T16:12:00.002-05:00

I used to hate used clothing stores and such. It isn't that I cared what other people did. I didn't even really think it was gross or anything, but I hated the "hunt". I like to find a rack of clothes I like, then look for the size, which is impossible to do in those stores. It is dig through piece by piece until you find something that catches your eye. I tended to shop clearance racks, sales, with coupons, etc instead

Well, the past 2 seasons, I've moved to the dark side (at least for my kids) of thrift storing. I buy new shoes for them and maybe a piece here and there, but the bulk of their wardrobe is made up of thrift store finds. I try to catch Friday $1 day at one store. You know you have moved totally to the dark side when you go to the other thrift store in town and pick up something and think, "I'm not paying $2.50 for that!"

This has saved us a lot of money and I worry less about them ruining something, because it simply just doesn't matter. I guess the next step to the dark side is yard sales, which is not something I really care to do, but I never though I'd be thrifting either, so you never know:-)

Moms' Night Out

2011-03-12T09:11:00.005-06:00

Last night I went to a "Mom's night out" at a church member's house. We ate some dessert, talked, laughed, played a couple of cheesy party games, and fellowshipped together. It was fun and nice to get out, I suppose, but I realized something too. I really like just being boring and spending my Friday evenings home with my kids watching a movie in my PJ's. It is fine every now and then to get out though. The kids were deeply disturbed that I was the one gone at bedtime instead of Jamie, but in the end, I missed kissing them goodnight.

I spend all my days with my children and people often tell me that I need to 'get away'. There are some days I will agree with that sentiment, but most of the time, I'm pretty content with my life just the way it is (lack of break and all).

I love this phase of my life!

Boring old 30 something mommy of 4 who is a wife, sister, sister-in law, aunt, daughter, daughter-in-law, granddaughter, teacher, cook, driver, organizer, accountant, nurse, entertainer, tear wiper, referee, snuggler, cleaner, hairdresser, self-esteem builder, volunteer, painter, floorer, washer, and friend ....I'll take it. I have the best job in the world!!! Hands down!

I just began to take a survey of the different women in the room last night. There were 9 of us there. Some just starting out moms, adoptive moms, moms of special needs, large families, small families, homeschooling moms, working out of the home moms, pregnant moms to be, divorced moms, single moms, ... We all had 2 things in common: Our children and our Lord!

Michelangelo

2011-03-07T14:16:00.003-06:00

This morning our history was about some of the great artists during the Renaissance period. So, what do you do when you are a homeschooler and you want to show your kids how Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel? You have them do it, of course!

Here are pictures from my kids painting a "ceiling" while lying on their backs like Michelangelo. They had a ball and realized that paint dripped onto their faces, it was difficult, and their arms got tired. Imagine doing that for 4 years on much higher off the ground! That makes you appreciate it that much more.

Please ignore the PJ pants. We were out of town this weekend, and laundry is a bit behind in the Hughes house:-)

Whew....we are home!

2011-03-05T18:07:00.002-06:00

We left a little earlier than we anticipated, because I didn't want to wait 2 hours for a class when I had everything else accomplished. It was good though! We got curriculum bought. I really only need to order a few little odds and ends and we'll be complete for Fall 2011. I want to check the library first to see what I can access there for free. I kind of wish the conference was a little later in the year so that I didn't have to store all this stuff AND my current stuff though . I mean, we still have 43 days of school left, so it is kind of hard to think of next year already. 43 days will zip by in a hurry though. I want to take a field trip or 2 during our "spring break" while Jamie is off, so we can count those days too. Oh, the beauty of homeschool and being finished by the end of April or first week of May:-)

We took 4 seminars. 2 of them geared towards writing, reading, spelling, etc (I'm a math person, not a writer) and 2 of them 'lighter' to sit back and enjoy. One of the 'light' ones ended up being a dud and I was really wishing we had sat by the door, so we could escape. It was just not that informative and I think it was suppose to be funny, but it wasn't. I looked around several times and almost everybody had a glazed look in their faces hoping that the hour would hurry up.

We saw Tim Hawkins last night. About half the material we have on DVD's, but about half was new and fresh for us. I laughed until I literally cried and my stomach got a good ab workout. He is a very talented man and has his eye on the big picture of Christ. We also got to listen to his wife speak this morning and she is a lovely lady

I don't know that we'll go every year, but it is so nice to kind of get fresh ideas, see books in person, and get a "recharge" and excitement going to finish out that spring slump. I learned quite a bit too. I think I'm still in that uptight, I must do everything perfectly or screw my kids up forever, worrying about the future, am I doing enough, am I doing too much, what works, what doesn't mode. I wonder how many years it takes to get out of that mode. I suppose there will always be a bit of doubt, because God has called us to this and it takes time, patience, commitment, energies, etc every single day. Satan wants to put doubt in my head and I often have moments where I really stress out about this big responsibility. Being a parent is always a huge God sized responsibility anyways.

I'm taking a little bit of a different approach to teaching next year. I needed the curriculum to hold my hand a bit this year, but next year, I'm going more with unit type studies and more 'laid back'. I'm glad I did what I did last year, but I'm also glad that I have a new vision. My kids are too fun to be around to not have fun with them:-) They are fun people!

It was nice to just have Jamie to myself for a couple of days too. Even if I believe he probably 'suffered' through some of it for my behalf:-) I love him!

In about 5 hours...

2011-03-03T14:30:00.002-06:00

I'll be kidless until Saturday night. I really can't remember the last time Jamie and I just went 'out'. Let's see...the last time I was without kids was for a funeral. The time before that was for an early morning ER visit. Not exactly what I would call a date. The time before that was that same weekend and we were visiting the newest Hughes in the hospital. Oh, we did go out to eat with Jamie's parents that night. Hence the reason for the ER visit (food poisoning!). Before that? It was.....ummmmm.....Ok.....Christmas shopping???? I think maybe I need to get out more:-) It is kind of sad and funny at the same time.

So, this weekend we are conquering a big homeschool convention. I will MORE than make my money back for the convention fee with the discounts and free shipping. We are revamping a bit for next year. I'm kind of excited about our changes. I'm hoping to free up some time for more fun natural type of learning. I think it takes a few years to kind of weed your way through and figure this whole thing out. It is definitely a journey for us all. Sometimes I feel very inadequate and small in all of this. I have to constantly remind myself that God put me here, he will provide our needs, and he will will not fail us.

We are going to take a few classes at the convention, peruse curriculum choices I haven't decided on quite yet, eat meals that are not prepared by me, stay in a hotel, lavish in the quiet (Ok, probably miss my noisy kids), and try to just enjoy ourselves. It is just killing 2 birds with 1 stone in a way, because Jamie and I need this recharge every now and then for ourselves.

And to leave you with this. The past several weeks we have been studying Psalm 121. We have a CD that goes with our curriculum and they learn most of their scripture through song. My kids were able to successfully write the entire chapter and even Chloe can recite it. This is one of the many reasons that I do what I do.

Psalm 121

A Song of Ascents.

I WILL lift up my eyes to the hills
From whence shall my help come?

²My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.

³He will not allow your foot to slip or to be moved; He Who keeps you will not slumber.

⁴Behold, He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

⁵The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand

⁶The sun shall not smite you by day, nor the moon by night.

⁷The Lord will keep you from all evil; He will keep your life.

⁸The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore.

Subbing, Masquerade, and an Accomplishment

2011-03-01T13:11:00.005-06:00

I was asked by a friend at church to sub in the Preschool class for 2 Wednesday nights. I said 'yes' immediately, but I was thinking to myself "great!" Preschool is just not my calling. I love little kids to pieces. Don't get me wrong at all. It is just that I like bigger kids in a classroom setting. I taught Kindergarten prior to having children and even that is different, because you can set rules and have consequences to them. What are you really going to do in a church class for an hour?

So, I decided to teach the Parable of the lost sheep. We talked about how Jesus is a Shepard, made Sheep masks, then took turn hiding a little stuffed "Sheepy" and finding him like the Shepard. I thought all was going well until the last 5 minutes. The speaker downstairs (ummm....my husband) didn't let out on time, so they were "done" by 7:30 and were proceeding to go bonkers. I was trying to maintain some kind of order until Parents picked their kids up. 2 little boys were kicking at one another (just playing) and I told them to sit down until they were picked up. One little boy did after some reluctance and the other stuck his tongue out, told me "no" with his arms cross, and crawled underneath the table. When I tried to retrieve him, he proceeded to spit on me. I was appalled! All I can say is that I appreciate my OWN children more and more every day!! Wish me luck for this Wednesday! Help us all! Give me bigger kids or teens any day of the week.

Our sermon series this month is Masquerade and how we all wear "masks" when we are around other people at times. I think between me making the sheep masks and the sermon series, it spawned a bunch of little masks being made around the house. They are very cute, but now we have about a billion of them laying around. I knew buying that pack of 600 paper plates was a mistake:-)

And, I must have a mommy brag time. I bought a USA puzzle at the Dollar Tree yesterday. We are going to do some US history next year, so I thought I'd add it to our homeschool shelf. Little did I realize that Chloe would take such an interest. It was a 60 piece puzzle, so more than she has ever done before (24 I think), but she sat here and put the entire thing together all by herself. She would protest when the other kids came over the "help" She wanted to do it all by herself and have that accomplishment. I thought it was quite impressive for her age!

On another note, just 3 more days until our weekend get-away. I can't wait!

About a Year Later

2011-02-21T21:15:00.002-06:00

I was just thinking today about our homeschooling journey. I'm obsessively researching what we'll be doing next year so I can get the discounts and deals at the conference and know what vendors to check out (there are too many to hit them all).

I had an emotional breakdown sometime in Feb. 2010. When we moved to Owensboro we rented a house in one of the best school districts in the state. I think it was ranking in the top 10 and had won national awards. I was so excited about my kids getting this fabulous opportunity. I quickly enrolled them after the move. I was very nervous about the school change already, but Micah is so outgoing, Abbi was only going into the 1st grade and Hannah into Kindergarten. How bad could it be? Even though we really liked North Elementary and its familiarity, I was confident that my kids would adjust well.

So, I walked them into school on that first day and settled them into their class. I always got emotional on the kids' Kindergarten year, but this time, it was really bad. I felt the lump in my throat swelling up as we dropped the kids off one by one. It was like the first day of Kindergarten all over again except worse! I did make it to the car with tears in my eyes. Chloe was a nice distraction since she was also upset that she lost her 3 playmates. It was Jamie's day off and we distracted ourselves all day.

Everything seemed to be going according to plan. The kids were happy enough at the beginning. I would ask them if they got to play outside and the answer was always the same, "no." When we had an open house meeting a few weeks later, the teachers handed us their schedule and none (even in Kindergarten) included recess into their schedule. It was "if we have time" instead of standard. We found out rather quickly that "if we had time" rarely happened even in beautiful 70 degree perfect weather.

Jamie and I were not happy. I knew that my ADHD son needed the breaks and I wanted my kids to be able to have a little fun during the day anyways. They were each bringing home a pile of homework every night and by the time they got a snack and a short breather in the afternoon, it was time to start cracking the books. Cracking the books we did...sometimes for hours and hours. Micah rarely had less then 2 hours of homework each night. Most of the time it was more...much more!

School had not been in session very long when Micah was coming home complaining about kids making fun of him. We worried about him making friends already, but this only made us worry more. He didn't seem unhappy to go to school and he did talk about a couple of boys that he was friends with, so we tried to tell him to ignore them and focus on this real friends. That worked for a bit, but by the time school had been in several months, Micah was in the path of bullies that wouldn't let up. It went from verbal abuse to physical. He was being tripped, pinched, poked, laughed at, and at one point pinned against the wall by several at once.

Jamie and I were livid! I did not send my kids to school to be abused. I know it happens, but this was ridiculous. We went to teachers, principals, vice-principals and it was always kind of the same. The teachers seem oblivious and were telling me that Micah was adjusting fine. With 29 kids in one classroom, of course this was happening behind their backs. Micah would tell the teacher and either get blown off or he'd have to pull a card (punished) also. They had a bully policy on file, but it was like they didn't want to address this as a real problem.

So, guess what he learned to do? Nothing! He would be bullied and not tell. What was the point? The teachers weren't listening. He'd tell us, and we tried to get things done to no avail. I felt defenseless and like I couldn't even protect my own child. We watched as he became quieter, more withdrawn, and not as imaginative as he once was. I thought it was just him getting older or something. The outward signs in his personality were so slow and gradual that it was really hard to put a finger on.

Fast forward to his 4th grade year where he got a new teacher and a new grouping of kids in his class. We thought that it might get better. His teacher seemed really great this time. It was not long at all before these kids were back to their old tricks with Micah as their target. He would get in the car every day with piles of useless busy homework and tears in his eyes as he recounted his day. It was always the same old thing. Again, we tried to do the right thing and get his teachers on board. Again, they wanted to brush these real problems under the rug. Micah wasn't telling and his teacher acted like he was Mr. Popular in class and was well liked. Maybe he was, but how many bullies does it take to make your life miserable?

By the end of January, he got in the car daily bawling. Micah is my laid back child (almost to a fault at times) and he was miserable. He never cried, yet here he was crying every single day. I would go home and wonder what in the world we were doing. Jamie and I would just talk about it endlessly. I vented to my mother on several occasions and I just didn't know what to do anymore.

Then February rolled around. I snapped at some point during the month. He had over 4 hours of homework and by the time 8:00 rolled around Jamie and I were just feeding him answers to get it done. Combine that with the bullying and after the kids went to bed that night, I broke down. I sat there across from Jamie and said that I didn't know what to do. He said something in jest about me homeschooling. I didn't even really take it to heart. I just remember how heartbroken I was for my little boy.

That night I slept fitfully. I dreamed about homeschooling and it made me wonder why Jamie had said that to me. I woke up a million times that night and just prayed to God for a clear cut answer and what I was suppose to do. I kept hearing the same thing ringing in my ears, "homeschool". I ignored it! Isn't that what we all do? I kept thinking, "there is no way I can do that, God" "I'm not equipped for that" "I was going to be going back to work in a couple of years" "How will I know what to teach" "Won't my kids be lonely"

But, God did not grant me peace about it. So, I did what any woman does. I emailed a good friend of mine that went through something similar with her kids. She was a teacher friend of mine from 'back in the day' that was (and still is) one of my very best friends. She sent me some links and pointed me in some directions of what to do. I looked up the homeschooling laws in KY (which is very laid back) and tried desperately to pray myself out of this! I didn't "want" that calling. I didn't "want" that burden and responsibility.

So, I continued to ignore for a few days. Again, I didn't sleep and God kept prompting me. He just won't leave you alone when he wants something, will he? I talked to Jamie about it (for real this time) and he told me that it was my decision. Great! So, I rested on it 1 more night and then decided to just give it to God. I told Jamie the next day that God had called us to homeschool and he just sort of smiled and said that he had been thinking about it for over year, but didn't want me to do something just because. He wanted it to be something laid on my heart.

My original intention was to finish out the year, but Micah got into the car one afternoon and said he didn't want to go back. I asked him if he was very sure and he said, 'yes'. I told him that it was done and that he wouldn't have to go back. I got my letter to the board office that Friday afternoon and he never went back.

Again, I was intending for the girls to finish out the year, but we ended up moving early, I pulled them too and the rest is history.

I think one of the most nervous moments was calling our families. My mother was very excited and encouraging. She knew some of the trials we had gone through though. Jamie's parents were also very supportive and understanding. It was nice to have the grandparents on our side. Even at 30 something years old, you still don't want to make a decision that your parents will view as a huge mistake (especially when grandkids are concerned).

So, here we sit almost a year later still trudging away and making plans for next year. Now, I can't even believe I fought it so hard. I can't believe that homeschooling is such a joy in my life. I can't believe how well my kids are thriving. I'm so blessed to have stress-free evenings back into my life. It has increased our family time together. It has shown me that God can do anything even when you don't really think you can.

Family and My Church Lessons

2011-02-20T14:40:00.003-06:00

Last night, my kids got formally introduced to their new baby cousin, Leah. They each held her once and enjoyed getting to see her. They are excited about finally being "big" cousins, since they have always been "little" cousins on the other side of the family. Leah has been a big part of our conversations for the past few months and especially the last 2 weeks. I did get to finally see her eyes for a moment before she ate her bottle. I hope that she let her parents sleep a bit last night though considering she was snoozing away the entire evening.

It is so sweet to get to snuggle up with a baby and not do any of the responsible dirty work:-) I love being an aunt for the 4th time! There is just something special about getting to be the spoiler for a change. My kids often refer to her as "Baby Leah" and I'm thinking about how much she may hate that in a few years:-) But it is cute and we all love her so much already!

Jamie's mom is still battling her eye issues and had to go to bed while we were there since she lives in chronic pain. Another surgery is on Thursday, so we are praying diligently that this one works and she will be comfortable again. We know that God is the great physician. He can lead and direct those doctors and give her comfort that she needs.

This morning we attended church, as usual. We have been at our new church for 6 months and I think we are already labeled as the "go to" people. I know exactly what those "go to" people are, because we once had to use them in our youth ministries. You know? The people that can't say "no" Somehow Jamie is teaching the adult class for 4 weeks on Wed. nights, I am subbing in the pre-k class for 2 weeks (did I ever mention that I've never taught Pre-K in my life?). Jamie is on some sort of leader committee group and we teach the 1st-3rd grade. Sometimes I wonder what in the world we are thinking.

Our Children's class is in a partitioned corner of a bigger room (no real walls) and we had 12 kids this morning. 12!!! Let me just say, it is a lively bunch and you can hear 3 other classes going on at the same time (an ADHD nightmare). We have a few kids that are a bigger handfull than others and the one that is the most energetic of the group walked in last week with a Code Red Mountain Dew in his hands. He said his grandmother bought it for him. I'm thinking, "Thanks Granny!" But you see, this particular child either gets dropped off without family or rides the bus. I have a special place in my heart for bus kids. We ministered to a group of mostly bussed in teenagers for 6 years and we saw the heart of those kids. They just need to see the love of Jesus. Period.

So, "L" came in this morning this morning and he is always very happy to be there. He also always acts very happy to see us and usually gives me a hug. He didn't have Code Red this morning, but did have a Little Debbie chocolate cake in his hands. He was so happy about that Little Debbie. We had a hands-on lesson today, which resulted in children being even louder and bouncier than usual. When the lesson was over, we were headed downstairs and "L" asked if he could sit with us. I told him he could and I was thinking how in the world I would hear anything with 6 kids to keep up with (Abbi's friend sat with us too).

I sat him right by me and he asked about a million questions during the service. Why is there a wall around the drums? How does Bro. Rusty know how to play them? Why are those people up there praying? How does he (pointing to the music minister) know the words to all those songs? When is this going to be over? Can I go to the bathroom? Can I color in your book (my teacher's guide)? How did they build that stage so big? What is in those boxes?

You get the picture! Even during prayer, he was asking about something. Not whispering, but right out loud too. I finally remembered that I had stickers and that quieted him down for about 10 minutes.

I left church this morning, not really knowing what the sermon was about. My nerves were a bit rattled, because I had hyper kids all morning, and 2 extra kids to watch during service. I left "L" this morning and will see him again next week, probably. His brother is in our class too (opposite than his brother...very quiet) and he said that his brother had been grounded from church. It made me begin to ponder what kind of home he must have. They are well cared for physically. You can see that. His parents probably love them quite a bit, but it is mere strangers that is showing them the love of Christ and feeding them spiritually.

So, I cannot tell you what our sermon was really about this morning. I know just bits and pieces, but I can tell you about the lessons the "L" taught me. He taught me to always show Christ's love, because that may be the only glimpse of God some people get all week. He taught me patience and that it is OK to ask questions. He reminded me that physical needs being met are only a piece of the puzzle of being a Godly parent. He showed me that even as the "go to" people at church that we are filling a need for the body.

I also have to sit and wonder how God saw "L" this morning. Some that sat around us might think he was a distraction, but I kind of bet Jesus was sitting there smiling at the whole thing.

Jamie and I started a class for married couples on Sunday night. I'm looking forward to that to enhance our relationship with one another through Christ. Looking forward to it!

As Promised!

2011-02-18T14:45:00.002-06:00

Here is the picture of my little cheerleader wanna be. Isn't she cute with that toothless smile? The little participants did a cheer in between ball games last weekend at Calloway. She was the cutest girl up there, for sure! I'm only a tiny bit biased.

My kids have been enjoying this gorgeous weather that we have been blessed with. It is hard to believe there was over 8 inches of snow on the ground last week. They have been taking full advantage of it. Let's face it, it is only February and there is more winter left:-(

We have started a new chore system around here. It is still in the prototype stage and too soon to tell. I can say that my house stay cleaned all day yesterday without me having to nag. I don't expect them to be perfect, but I do expect them to pitch in their part. Especially since we are here all the time now. We'll see what happens when the novelty wears off.

I'm so very thankful that this week we are feeling much more ourselves. Last week was not fun for us and Jamie is still not 100% with his eating, but he is getting there, at least. None of the kids got whatever horrible flu/virus I picked up either, so that is always good. When it rains, it pours!

On another note, John got offered a job at MCU and he and Jamie will be working together. Not even 2 weeks after their beautiful daughter came into this world either. It makes me smile to think of all the blessings abound that they are getting to enjoy! A lot of fresh starts in their lives that they have waited a long time for. God is so good and it is amazing to see and we are so happy for them. It was so funny to see Jamie so nervous for the interview outcome. Jamie loves working for MCU and I hope that John is just as blessed while working there! I know they probably want to pinch themselves right about now:-)

Jamie's mother is still suffering from eye issues, so we are remembering to pray for her. The kids are so sweet with their daily prayers. Their prayers are often very similar from day to day, but I know that God hears those sweet little voices. They never forget to pray for "Baby Leah", Nana's eye, Bosco, Granny Dot, and as of late Uncle John's new job, Aunt Rachel to feel better after surgery. It makes me smile on the inside to listen to their heavenly conversations.

And, just for the record, I'm researching my booty off for next year's curriculum, because we are headed to the Land of Elvis in exactly 2 weeks for that convention and some good times. Can't wait!!!

Happy Valentine's Day 2011

2011-02-14T17:35:00.003-06:00

I remember back in the dating day, how important this day would have been. Getting roses, balloons, candy, or a stuffed animal was enough to make me feel like I was very lucky. But now, Jamie and I have sort of dropped this holiday off of our "important" list. I did get the kids a York Peppermint Patty (this is one of our favorite "check out line" treats), V-day pencils, and silly bands though. We had a party with the homeschool group at the bowling alley. The girls got pretty little Valentine cards and Micah got to bowl with some of his friends. They got to fill up on too many sweets and even play outside a bit this afternoon due to the warmer weather. It was a nice day, but Jamie has class tonight, so it will be a boring night after the kids go to bed:-)

I have many Loves in my life. My home is full of love. Jamie is my very best friend and what started out as puppy love grew very slowly to what it is today. We are stronger than ever! I simply can't imagine my life with anybody else. He works very hard to provide for us, loves me even when I probably don't deserve it, is a fantastic Daddy, encourages me, and tells me that I'm beautiful even when I don't feel like it.

I have 4 beautiful children. I am watching them grow into smart and funny little people with their own individuality and personalities. Being a mommy is one of the purest loves one can realize this side of heaven. My kids may get tired of seeing my face all the time, but I never tire of seeing theirs.

I have the love of Christ in my heart and he is a member of our family. This is a love that I'll never fully grasp until I die. I see time and time again where he has taken care of us before we even realized we needed help. I'll never quite understand what Christ went through for us, but I sure am thankful for him.

So, while Valentine's day may not hold the same meaning as it did 20 years ago with flowers and candy, I know that I don't need those things in order to realize how blessed I am and how much love I have around me.

It is finally Saturday!

2011-02-12T08:24:00.002-06:00

For 3 days now, I have woken up in the morning, disappointed that it wasn't Saturday yet. It has been the longest week in history! A rough week around here, for sure, but do I dare say that I think we are in the 'clear' of the flu? 2 sick adults + 4 healthy kids = a very messy house with no food in it! We have got to get to the store today, because it is pathetic, actually. Yesterday was the first day Jamie and I both felt normalish. We only did 3 homeschool days, and now I'm wondering why I even did that, honestly. Why do I feel the need keep pushing like that? I don't know the reason for my own insanity!

Yesterday we took off, because I had to go to the funeral of a dear sweet family friend. My mother's best friend passed away while Jamie was in the ER Sunday morning. She was like a second mom to me growing up. I can remember weekends where it was just a 'given' that our families were going to be together. We even rode to church together on Sunday morning. You know back in the 80's where nobody wore a seatbelt and 2 adults sat in the front and 4 kids in the back kind of piled up on each other? Her 2 sons were the closest thing I ever had to brothers growing up. They are are a little older than my sister, so I was the 'baby' in the bunch. We'd ride 3 wheelers, play cops and robbers, and walk across the yard to their grandparents (who we even called "Granddaddy") and get a Yoohoo to drink.

Since hitting adulthood, we have all kind of gone our separate ways. It is sad how that happens, but when we see one another, all that comes flooding back. My mother and Jean remained very good friends through a lot. My mother's last visit with her was 2 weeks before she died. Jean was in poor health for her age (66) and was in a nursing home. Jean lost her husband 30 years ago (my Dad's life long best friend) and her life was never quite the same. She had a lot of problems after that. I vaguely remember her husband, but I was very young and the memories are very foggy.

Last night we went to Calloway High to watch Hannah do a little cheer to the very large crowd (Calloway vs. Marshall need I say more?). She was very cute and if I can figure out my new scanner, I'll upload a picture:-)

I also know that the other Hughes bunch got to finally go home yesterday with their sweet little 8 pound bundle. I'm so happy for them! Despite us feeling like junk all week, I've thought about them a lot. I know they are ecstatic to finally be home and getting to enjoy this special time. I hope that we can get some Leah cuddles in as soon as her mommy is feeling better:-)

Blah Blah Blah!

2011-02-09T19:13:00.002-06:00

Jamie went back to work today, but they let out at 2:30 or so due to the weather. He was suppose to teach tonight, but church was canceled, so that was a blessing. He was able to come home and rest a bit, which is a good thing.

I got up this morning feeling OK. Still not great, but I thought I was on a mend. I started feeling weird about the time Jamie arrived home and realized my fever was back up to 102! What in the world? So, I'm trying to combat that at the moment, but at last my stomach is OK. The fever won't budge no matter what I do. Flu? I really don't know???? Whatever this is, I hope that it avoids everybody else (especially Jamie). I have not hugged any of my family in nearly 2 days now and it is killing me!

It is Not a Good day in the Hughes house!

2011-02-08T18:26:00.002-06:00

First of all, I know the snow was a pain in the behind for everybody, but it was a blessing for us! Jamie's class was cancelled, which was his main worry, because it was the final presentation and much of his grade rides on that. Then, I heard from his co-worker that MCU closed at noon, so he didn't even have to claim an entire sick day. I encouraged him to go ahead and take off today too since he needed to go to the doctor for a follow up blood draw and he is still very weak. I told him, "you can't underestimate the power of rest when you have been so sick"

Little did we know! About 7am this morning, my stomach started churning and not feeling good. I got up and thought I could tough it out, at first. I started doing school with the kids and then decided, "ummm, no I'm really really sick!" and have been for the rest of the day. So, Jamie's sick day ended up being more for my behalf than his, but we had no idea. I've been very sick and 102 fever for most of the day. Jamie had this Zofran here, so that at least allowed some relief.

So, Jamie got to play substitute teacher today and homemaker. Jamie's bloodwork came back normal (yay!) and the doctor agreed with the ER doctor that it was bacterial. They said that Jamie was not contagious at all (I was beginning to wonder this morning if they were wrong). We are assuming for now that I picked up some nasty germs at the ER. We really don't know at all.

So, it has not been a good week around here. I've realized in these last few days though how wonderful my family and church friends are. We've had people calling and checking on everything, offers to keep my kids, and even offers to run to the store for us. We are very blessed to have these wonderful people in our lives!

Jamie did find out that his infection can lead to appendicitis, so we have to keep a watch on that. I'm also trying to keep away from everybody. The last thing Jamie needs is a virus on top of it all. Pray that none of the kids get it and the appendicitis doesn't happen!!!!

What a day!

2011-02-06T17:36:00.003-06:00

At 5:00 this morning, Jamie comes to me and said he had been sick all night and his lower back was in severe/excruciating pain. I was puzzled at first, but as I watched him and heard how he was acting, I began to get very concerned. My husband is not one to moan and whine around with every sniffle . I've seen him in pain before, but never have I seen him in this much pain. I went and asked him a few questions. He was moaning, writhing about, unable to form a coherent sentence. I knew we needed to figure out the next step.

It was 5am on a Sunday, so the ER was the only answer for some relief and answers. I began contemplating my choices. My niece is the closest, but since her husband works midnights, I figured that a phone call at 5am, might cause her to be scared. Jamie's parents are the next closest, but my Mother In Law is still recovering from a surgery she had a few weeks ago, and I didn't want to keep them away from the new baby. So, I confirmed that Jamie could wait 30 minutes, and called my mother. She was here fairly quickly and then we decided to head to Murray ER since that is where all our doctors are anyways.

I started consulting "Dr. Google" as I waited and looking up symptoms (bad, I know) and determined that the area he was hurting was probably kidney related and possible a kidney stone the way he was in pain. We arrived at the ER and, I have to say, when someone comes in there with pain, they start jumping quickly (no waiting around this time).

The first nurse that we had was a really cool guy. His first question was if Jamie had ever had kidney stones and when he responded, "No". He said, "I think today is your day." They immediately started an IV to push some fluids (he was dehydrated), pain meds, and Zofran. The nausea got quite a bit better, but the pain still had him moaning and writhing about, so they pushed him something else. Finally he got some relief!

They weren't even discussing the possibility of it being something else. They came in and gave us verbal information on kidney stones and what he might be looking at. They ordered a Cat scan and we waited for the results. Well, we found out that there was NO stone. That was good news and bad news. Nobody wants something like that, but at least that would have been an affirmative answer to the pain.

So, then they ordered a blood draw and found that his CBC showed a bacterial infection. The Cat scan showed that his intestines were inflamed and bulging a bit in the area that was hurting so badly. So, they tentatively diagnosed him with a fancy word for food poisoning!

So, we got sent home with 3 meds, work excuses, and specific instructions on when to bring him back if need be. We have to go tomorrow to get another CBC to compare numbers. Hopefully they'll be better, and he'll be on a mend.

I think we may all play "hooky" tomorrow. I'm really tired from all the excitement too and Jamie needs a nurse and a driver tomorrow anyways. He is running a low fever, but that is understandable. I think we'll grab something for supper (for the kids and I anyways), and all head to bed in a bit.

On another note, I simply could not stand that I was in the same building as that precious baby, and didn't get to look at her. I am sure that I'm covered in every despicable germ that was ever created after camping out in the ER for several hours.

New Life

2011-02-04T21:57:00.003-06:00

There isn't quite anything in the world like holding a precious new life in your arms. I met my new niece, Leah Catherine Hughes, this evening. I stalked facebook all day hoping to get a glimpse of some pictures from family that were fortunate enough to get to meet her first. It has been a long time since Jamie and I have been on this side of the delivery room. We were both very anxious and too excited for words. She is a perfect 8 lb 11 oz cutie with more hair than her uncle:-)

I held her for a while this evening and something about holding a baby will just take you right back. I haven't held a baby that size in nearly 5 years, and it seems like a long time ago and yesterday all at the same time.

The kids have been so excited about having a baby cousin. They have been very diligent about praying for Miss Leah for months. This morning, we joined hands and had a special prayer time just focusing on Leah and Rachel as she recovers from surgery. I know that God has big plans for her and if she is anything like her parents, she will have smarts and talents to boot. What a blessing she is already.

There is just something remarkable about new life though. All that potential swaddled up in an 8 pound package with not a care in the world, except to be loved and cared for.

So, Congratulations John and Rachel as you embark on one of the biggest blessings of your life! Don't forget that you have some really experienced babysitters waiting in the wings:-)

Our Exciting Life

2011-02-03T14:41:00.002-06:00

So, we bought tickets last night for the Memphis homeschooling convention (March 4th-5th) and Tim Hawkins who will have 2 shows there. Can I just say that I'm excited? I'm really not sure what that says about me though. I know that my priorities are probably a bit different than most, but that is OK.

It isn't even about the convention though. The convention is just killing 2 birds with 1 stone so to speak. We went to a small convention last year, but we were new (as in, I had only been homeschooling a week) to the whole idea and it was a bit overwhelming. We also had our kids with us last year, and so we just wanted to make things as quick as possible. Now, I have a better grasp of what I'm doing and the vision I have for our homeschool. So, I'm hoping to gain a lot more and really be able to learn and look around.

We were planning on seeing Tim Hawkins last Summer when he was in Paducah in June, but that was before we knew we were moving back, and well, life changed a lot for us, and we couldn't go. So, while, I probably have all his jokes memorized anyways, I'm very excited about seeing him in person. If, for no other reason, to say that I did:-)

But, the bigger picture is that I'm going to spend 2 whole days with my hubby. We've never really done that and I've been a mom for over 11 years. We've never just gone out for the weekend and focused on ourselves. We are also guilty (like many busy parents) of not going on 'dates' at all. We do spend time with one another in the evenings when the kids go to bed, but not really 'out' of the house. It always seems like the weekends go by so quickly and everybody is so busy that we just don't bother I don't guess.

Growing up, Snaggle Tooth, and Things to Come

2011-01-28T11:16:00.004-06:00

Growing up:

My kids are growing way too fast! Micah is only about 6 inches shorter than me anymore. So, I can't stand behind him in pictures without being hidden (hey, maybe that is actually a good idea). It never fails when I sort laundry that some of his clothes end up with mine or vice-versa. I wanted a sweatshirt one day and didn't have any clean and found myself going to his closet to find something to wear (and it fit). It is kind of sad!

On one hand, it is very exciting to get to know them as these little people and have real conversations about real things. On the other, it just flies by so quickly, and it just shows me how quickly life really does pass us by. Even when we bought this house, I pointed out how I wanted the rooms set up when I was a grandparent. It is funny how you think about things like that, because it seems so far away, but I know that the day is inevitable at some point. With 4 kids, I'm bound to have a big huge family down the road:-)

Snaggle Tooth:

Hannah has lost another tooth! So, she has the cutest little snaggle tooth smile at the moment with 2 front teeth missing and one on the bottom. I know she'll look all grown up when her "big" teeth come in.
Things to Come:

On another note, in exactly 1 week (at the latest), we'll have a new niece! We si mply can't wait to meet her. She is such a blessing and answer to prayer already. I know that God has big plans for her (and her parents)! All Jamie and I have are nieces, which is kind of funny in a way. We love girls though and Micah will be a GREAT husband one day. I just know it!

Snow Day!

2011-01-24T12:02:00.003-06:00

Friday we did school, then we headed out to the yard. My kids have not played in the snow all winter. It seems like the it has been either too cold, still snowing, or we were busy that day (or all of the above). Of course when you are a child, snow is very exciting. They don't worry about dangerous roads or the temperatures. All they think about is missing school (not for us anymore) and playing outside until their toes are numb and noses are red.

So, I bundled them up in their winter gear and boots and we headed outside. I've never been able to really build a snowman. My sister and I would try when we were little, but we would always end up with a little blob instead of an actual snowman with perfect spheres for his body. Our resident snowman builder was at work on Friday, so we didn't get one built, I'm afraid. But, they had a great time anyways.

I think they only made it about an hour and a half before they were frozen and ready to come in. I stayed out for most of the time, but came in for a bit to thaw out and here they came soon after ready for a warm bath to defrost their toes.

They are aware that the schools have missed around the area and I asked them if they missed having days off for snow. I think it was a mixed reaction. They miss having the surprise days off, but realize that we will more than likely be off sooner than public school to enjoy the warm weather.

Today is Jamie's long day at work and school. He doesn't go out of town this week, so things should be nice and normal for the rest of the week. I remember when he was getting his undergraduate degree a few years ago, and how trying it was sometimes. I know that he works very hard for our family and I appreciate it immensely that he is focusing on his education (once again) in order to provide a better future for all of us. He will make a great college professor:-)

MLK Day 2011

2011-01-17T19:36:00.002-06:00

This is our first homeschooling year, so really the first year I had the pleasure of teaching Martin Luther King on the day we celebrate his birthday. We went on with business as usual even though I know that the schools were closed in the area. I found a book at the library here that looked very good for children, Martin's Big Words. This book was simple, to the point, and had fabulous illustrations. It took quotes of Dr. King and points from his childhood, Rosa Parks, his "dream", and his death were all woven in so simply, yet so poignantly within the text. It is a book that might add to our own collection here to read each year.

Last night, we started talking about the holiday a bit and what it meant for our country. I'll admit that while racism still exists in a big way, I still can't imagine how things were during that time. We've come a long way, but we still have a long way to go. So, we read that book, watched part of the "I have a Dream" speech and the news reports of his murder on YouTube.

I was watching the clips on the internet and couldn't help, but imagine what it must have been like there on the footsteps of the Lincoln Memorial that day. I watched the people's faces in the crowds and wondered what they must have been feeling or thinking.

The kids and I had a very good and frank discussion about racism, what the Bible says, and what it used to be like. And in complete innocence, they really just don't understand how people could be so cruel to another person. May they always just see other people for what God created them to be, and not what we see on the outer shell, which is completely meaningless.

Martin Luther King Jr's words:

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.

The time is always right to do what is right.

To be a Christian without prayer is no more possible than to be alive without breathing.

For many people today was just a day off of work, but take a moment to at least thank God for the changes that have been made in our history due to this man, and to pray for the changes that are yet to come.

Ponderings After the Weekend

2011-01-10T11:57:00.004-06:00

I feel like this weekend kind of slipped by too quickly! Saturday we went to Lowe's Build and Grow. The kids love it and I like that it teaches them how to follow directions and they have something to play with at the end. Micah is "Mr. Independent" and it never fails that he has to have Jamie undo a mistake. He's going to have to learn the hard way to read the directions carefully! I'm adding their certificates to their homeschool portfolio. The neat thing about homeschooling is that it is 24/7/365. Learning opportunities everywhere around you.

Then, I finally broke free for a break of sorts to buy some much needed clothes (on clearance of course). Can I just complain for a second about jean shopping? How is it that I can try on the same brand, same size, same cut, and they both fit differently. Seriously?!?! Do they not cut them the same? But, I did buy a pair and I really think that "petite" jeans are getting longer! I wore heels yesterday and still have to roll them a cuff. Maybe I'm shrinking instead. I'm still not sure.

Jamie caulked the bathroom and added the new light fixture to the "man bathroom" while I was gone. I'm so glad to have that room done! I cannot even tell you! We are officially finished with wallpaper forever!!!! It turned out really cute though. Even the 1970's Avocado green doesn't look too shabby with some warm colors added around it.

Before, the wallpaper had pink flowers on it (gag!), fluffy curtains, carpet (double gag!), and a funky light fixture.

After, we painted, hung a little shade, added a rug to tie in the colors.

This was one of the most difficult rooms to paint, because it is so small. Getting a ladder in and out and the shower doors. I kept praying I wouldn't fall, because I would have surely broken a neck in the process.

Now all we have left is the main area of the house and the utility area. I'm looking forward to getting it done, but it'll have to wait a bit until the weather warms up (we need to ventilate for the floors), but that is OK. It'll give me time to unpack those last few boxes and get things really organized.

The girls and I also got to attend the baby shower for my newest niece who will be arriving very soon! It was very nice to catch up with my old best friend (cousin). I really haven't chatted with her since we moved. She and I were a little scared to breathe around all the baby cuteness for fear that the condition might be contagious:-) I had a dream last week that I was pregnant and I was bawling and squawling and basically freaking out! I woke up in a jolt and breathing a sigh of relief. I love me some sweet baby goodness as much as the next person, but no, just no! I'll just wait for little Leah to come out and play! My kids pray for Aunt Rachel and Leah daily in their sweet little prayers. Can't wait to meet her!

Jamie had a meeting last night until late and now it is Monday, which is always long! I get the winter blahs about this time of year and I'm just hoping that it'll hurry up!

Lost Teeth and Nibble

2011-01-07T11:28:00.002-06:00

Yesterday, we put Nibble in his little ball to explore. This was his second time in the ball. He is actually pretty good at navigating that thing. The kids took turns holding him in the ball, which may be the only way they'll ever get to hold him anyways. He is very fast!! Sometimes we put him in the bathtub and they put their hands in there for him to run over and they can pet him though. They are enjoying their new little pet.

Another event from last evening was that Hannah finally lost that tooth she has been wiggling. She lost one a couple of weeks ago on the bottom, but there is nothing cuter than when they lose their two top front teeth. Somehow, they go from looking so young to a lot older when those permanent teeth grow in. She teethed very late. She celebrated her 1st birthday toothless! And, she is also losing them later it seems. Or ,at least, in comparison to my other 2.

She was very excited and looks very cute!
I'm very tired today as our neighbors must have decided that building something in the carport was very important until 2am. Of course, that is right outside our bedroom window (and the girls')! I heard power saws, hammers, etc. I can understand if there was an emergency or something and I'm hoping that it won't happen tonight. Of course, just as they got quiet, their dogs decided it was a good time to bark. Can I have some caffeine now?

Goodbye 2010!

2010-12-31T10:44:00.003-06:00

On one hand, I've never been so glad to see a year end! On the other, God has really been evident in our lives and that is an awesome thing to be a part of. 2010 has really been a roller coaster, but we are on the upswing and life is very good! Our trials and joys were big this year, but God is even bigger and for that, I'm so very thankful.

We've had to endure some trials that I never thought we'd have to go through, and that was unbelievably scary.
We've had people turn their backs on us (so called friends), and that was unbelievably lonely and hurtful.
The ministry that we had loved for 12 years came to a screeching halt, and we mourned that for a good while.
We were without our own home for almost 4 months.

But it is so much better to focus on the things that GOD has done during those trials! We are on the other side and while I still look back and cry. I'm glad to say that it is not daily anymore. And the tears are not always tears of sorrow and sadness. I have tears well up when I think of all that HE has done. It is hard not to! God took care of us. He always does, but through these trials, God held us and just took us from one point to another (even when we couldn't think straight). He provided!

2010 has been full of blessings:

We bought a new home. After 16 years of marriage, we finally were able to buy a home!
We found a new church home and we are teaching again. The atmosphere is different than any I've ever been a part of and it is just what we needed when we needed it. I've learned so much the past few months.
Jamie got a new job that he loves. It was provided so that Jamie never really missed a week of work! How amazing is that!
My kids are thriving in homeschool! It is a lot of work, but it is worth it. It is a growing passion of mine and something that I take very seriously in my life. I'm back to teaching in a way that I never thought I would be. I think I've learned just as much as the kids.

We are in many different places than we were at the beginning of the year. I never suspected most of these changes, but what sweet surprises God had in store for us. I ponder the things that happened to us in 2010 and I know that God took us there to bring us here. I think sometimes we have to endure the storm to appreciate the rainbow at the end.

With all that said, I welcome 2011 in our lives! Whatever it brings, I know that God will be by our side.

Christmas 2010!

2010-12-27T16:41:00.006-06:00

Well, another Christmas has come and gone. It is unbelievable to me how quickly time passes! I think my kids got many things they wanted and many other things that were surprises to them. One of their favorite things they received was their first pet! They got a Hamster cage, a gift card to Pet Smart, and a note from Santa explaining the whole thing.

We spent Christmas Eve at home focusing on Jesus, watching The Nativity Story (LOVE this movie!), and eating fondue. Fondue became our new tradition when we moved to Owensboro. When you are not "local" to family, you are forced to begin your own traditions. You know what? I really enjoy our low-key Christmas Eve that is focused on Christ and each other. It is my favorite day of the year!

Of course, Christmas morning with 4 kids is always fun. I love watching their faces brighten as they shake the boxes and realize that what is inside is possibly exactly what they asked for. It is so magical and amazing when you are a child! I love the bedhead and jammies on Christmas morning pictures!

Here is Jamie playing "Just Dance" on the Wii. He was so proud that he beat them. Typical Daddy from my experience! I'm so glad you feel great about yourself beating a 4 year old:-)
And, I got new slippers and the kids got Bendaroos. Need I say more?
So, today we went to the mall with money burning in our pockets. We explained to them that they really got plenty of toys and that they may buy other things with their money if they wish. I thought it was really funny that my kids were walking around the mall perfectly happy to buy clothes and such. Micah even said, "I really like this new outfit! Is that weird?" I told him that it certainly wasn't. I explained to him that in a few years, all he'll be wanting for Christmas is shoes, clothes, music, and electronics. My kids are growing up!

We went to the Pet Smart and loaded up on Hamster supplies and picked out our newest little family member. It was hard to get a good picture, because he was exploring his new home. He is very cute, I must say. He is "Robo Hamster" and suppose to be about 3 inches long. He is TEENY. He looks like a little ball when he is wadded up asleep. We got a male, so we are certain that we won't wake up and have more hamsters. His name is "Nibble"
Jamie is off this week and now that Christmas is over, we can relax and just enjoy one another. I love his new job! It has many perks!

Christmas Came Early in the Hughes House!

2010-12-24T15:07:00.003-06:00

Ok, so this has nothing to do with Christmas, but it sure did make my day! We've been staring at this monstrosity of a chandelier since August. It is huge and tacky and horribly dated. I'm sure it was rocking in 1972, but that sure was a long time ago and it was time for an update. And, really, I just don't see how this very formal "fancy" chandelier ever went in an eat-in kitchen, but I digress. Here it is:

It kind of reminds me of some kind of sea creature or something. It also had pineapples in the middle of it. It is just wrong in so many ways!

Here is the nice fresh update! My wonderful husband put it up yesterday. So much better and updated!

I think I stared at it all day yesterday! It is so much better in so many ways including the light it puts off! I love seeing our home transform!

Today, my kids are watching Santa across the globe on the Norad Radar. So much fun and educational too. We are resting a bit right now and tonight we are having our annual fondue dipping fun! I'm so thankful to be spending our first Christmas in our new home! Jamie is off until January 3rd and my kids are full of excitement. Life doesn't get much better!

School Happenings

2010-12-18T14:15:00.004-06:00

I finally got a bulletin board for our school room. I painted the frame with leftover door paint and we made a little craft yesterday. It is amazing how cute toilet paper rolls and baby socks can turn out! They had fun making these little carolers and snowmen. I've had fun watching them have fun:-)

We are on a 2 week break to enjoy Christmas. We are officially halfway through the year. I had a bit of a chuckle the other day when there was a snow day around here. No more getting an automated phone call at 5:30 in the morning to tell us that school is closed. No more snow days for us, but on the flip side, the weather sure will be pretty in May!

Jamie works 2 days next week and has class Monday night and then will be off until 2011. I'm looking forward to a blessed 2 weeks with my family!

Back in the Saddle

2010-12-08T15:52:00.002-06:00

Jamie and I are going to be teaching the 1st-3rd grade Sunday School starting this week I think. We have spent the last 7 months just going to adult classes, taking a backseat, and being fed for a while. It had been a long time and it has been really nice. We didn't want (or even need) to jump right into a teaching or leadership position as soon as we moved. It has been a time to recoup, refresh, heal, forgive, rest, and move forward.

I'm finally getting into a "good" place with everything that happened last spring. I think we've dealt (or are dealing) with it as best as we can, and God has just been so incredibly good to us through this entire process. We sort of jumped out of an airplane without a chute in April, but he flew right along with us showering us with blessings abound. That part is impossible to deny. We were let down by this world, but God never let us down! What Satan meant to claim for his side, God reclaimed for us and has given us so much.

Maybe it took all those other churches, ministry experiences, and people (those that loved us and those that didn't) to bring us exactly where we are now. I don't know. Our church is probably the way I've craved church for years, but never quite found it. I also understand that it probably wouldn't fit some people and I'm OK with that too. It takes all Christians working together to reach others for Christ (which is the goal anyways)...not just a church that fits a particular mold.

We left Owensboro with us both teaching 2 classes that never got completed by us, so it has been a while since we've been in the teacher's chair in church. It'll be different and it has been several years since I've taught little ones in SS. Jamie has never taught little ones in SS. He has taught little ones, but not in that setting. It is a very energetic group and a growing group of kids. God made each one of those kids very unique for his purpose and I know that being their teacher will bless us more than it will them.

Random Things About Me

2010-12-01T13:59:00.004-06:00

I love:

Listening to my kids play when they don't know I'm listening
My children quoting scripture
Teaching
Painted Toenails
Cuddling on the couch after a long day
Hearing Jamie's car pull in the driveway
A clean house
My fenced in yard
Pondering things that Bro. Rusty (our pastor) has said all week
Jamie waking me up in the morning (it was the other way around for YEARS!)
Watching my kids sleep
Looking at old pictures
A good cry when I need one
Christmas Eve
Warm spring days
Going to get my haircut
Sweet tea
Cuddling up with a good book on a rainy day (it has been a while!)
Kissing a new baby's head
Red front doors
Kissing my kids goodnight
Learning something new
Inside jokes (as long as I'm on the inside)
Getting a personal email
Listening to the rain
Cookies
Flip-Flops
Organizing

I don't love:

Cold weather
Kids fighting
Jamie working late
Peeling wallpaper
Never getting a break
Unsolicited advice
Wearing glasses/contacts every second of the day
Arrogance
People cracking jokes about my name, family size, or homeschool
When someone touches my nose or eyebrows
Shopping of any kind
Barking dogs at 2am
Getting up early
Gossip
Legalism in church
Going to the doctor, dentist, etc
Wal-Mart
Being late
Being the center of attention
Laundry
Cleaning the kitchen (the never ending job)
Shaking hands
Moving!!!!!
Politics
Door-to-door salesmen
Sleep deprivation
Whiny kids
Tickling

Sesame Street Live

2010-11-30T16:31:00.004-06:00

We spent the past Thanksgiving weekend being very busy. That is pretty typical, isn't it? We had 3 Thanksgiving meals, Black Friday Shopping, putting up our Christmas decor, and Sesame Street Live. Paw Paw got us the tickets for the show and it was very cute. Chloe was at the perfect age to really enjoy it the most, because she thinks they are all "real" and to her, she is seeing "stars". The others enjoyed it as well, but you just lose part of the magic when you realize that it is simply people dressed up as your favorite character and they aren't really alive.

The show was very well done and moved quickly with a lot of action to keep the little ones interested. I'm glad that they got to go though and these are things they'll remember always. Who knows, Micah may be participating in something like this one day since he has the acting bug.

I am embarrassed to have 4 kids and admit that I had no clue who that girl character was with the glasses and backpack though. Where did she come from? We don't really watch that much TV anymore, so I guess I'm losing touch.

Give Thanks with a Grateful Heart

2010-11-24T11:44:00.003-06:00

This year we have so much to be thankful to God for! He has been there for us when it literally seemed that the entire world was against us. He has been a friend to us, a provider, a shoulder to cry on, and so much more! We have been blessed beyond measure...more than any of us ever deserve.

We are now home owners to a real brick house for the first time ever! This was a nice little surprise in God's plans.
We are homeschooling and loving it! I never thought I'd be doing this, but I'm so thankful God called us to do this. It is an amazing journey! I'm just sorry I didn't discover it sooner, but at least I can appreciate it more having been on the other side.
We found a church home that is unlike any other we've ever been a part of, but completely perfect for us! I can't wait to see what God has up his sleeve for the future of this newer church.
Jamie has a new job. It is a ministry that is different than he has had in the past. It is a shift in our lives that we weren't expecting, but a very sweet change.
Jamie began graduate school. It is trying, but I am thankful. God gave him a job at the university, so now his education is FREE! Professor Hughes....sort of has a ring to it, don't you think;-)
My children are oh so special in my life. My life would not be complete without them. They can always seem to brighten a down day.
My husband is the love of my life this side of heaven. We have shared tears and laughter this year (sometimes at the same time), and I wouldn't want to go through this life with anybody else by my side.
I'm forever thankful for Jesus dying for my sins. Without him life would be pretty bleak and hopeless.

I could go on an on. I think one reason God allows the disappointments, hurts, and hard times in life is so that we can fully appreciate his love, provision, and blessings. 2010 has been a series of mountains and valleys, but God has been there by our sides the whole time.

Last night we had a turkey dinner a couple of days early in the Hughes house;-)

It is a turkey made of fruit and cheese and a cornucopia of veggies. The kids loved it and I love that we could do a craft that I didn't have to store or feel guilty for throwing away. They gobbled them up!

Kids are Thankful!

2010-11-21T14:40:00.001-06:00

Abbi and Hannah are in this cute video from our church. It is so precious to see the things that children are thankful for. Lately in our mission stories, we've been learning how Americans are very blessed to have freedom of worship and to be able to own Bibles. Just a little disclaimer so you know where Abbi's comment was coming from:-)

Our First Santa Sighting of the Season

2010-11-18T17:58:00.003-06:00

I always shop in the Murray Wal-Mart on Thursday afternoon. It is just the girls and me since Micah is in drama class. Well, last week, we saw a gentleman that was a little chubby, had a white beard, glasses, red shirt, and boots. Well, you can imagine Chloe's delight at seeing "Santa" in the store. I just played along and told her that he must be scoping thing out and making sure all the kids were being good. That was that...

Until today! Same time, same place, and there he was again. Again, he had on red. I saw him from afar, but didn't mention it, because Chloe has embarrassed me 1 too many times by blurting out whatever is in her brain. You never know how one will take to being compared to Santa.

Well, there we stood in the yogurt aisle and I hear her exclaim, "SANTA!" and he was literally within feet of me. He was standing right behind me. I'm thinking, "Great, how am I going to explain my way out of this one." Much to my delight he turned around and said, "Have you been good this year?" Chloe nodded with her mouth gapping open as if she had just had a celebrity sighting. He said, "Be sure to be good to your sisters too". Again, she nodded. He went on about his business and we went on about ours.

She has chattered about seeing "Santa" all evening. It was such a sweet innocent moment and it made Chloe's evening! I love this time of year with my kids. It is so magical! Sometime along the way, I think teens/adults lose that magical feeling. When you have kids, you get to live vicariously through them and the way they view the world. Christmas is full of magic, wonder, and amazement. Today in Wal-Mart I got to have a little bit of what it would be like to be 4 again.

I love being a mommy!

A Very Productive Weekend

2010-11-15T08:37:00.001-06:00

Saturday we went to Lowes "Build and Grow" workshop for the first time. I've seen the sign a million times, but it always slipped my mind until I saw the sign again. But, we finally remembered. Or rather, the kids remembered! It was a lot of fun though and I think we'll return. I love to find good quality FREE things for the kids to participate in.

We came home from Lowes and I unboxed books all afternoon into the newly completed school room. I thought I was finished once only to discover 2 more huge boxes! So, I think by the time my children are grown, we'll have ourselves a little library. They have had a ball, because they have not seen many of their books since April. They have played in our new room all weekend. My girls love to play school anyway, so it is now the new favorite spot in the house!

Here is a new school area. I'm so thrilled! God gave us just enough house for our needs and this ended up just being a bonus.

Before:

After:

The ottoman that is sitting there doesn't match. I need to get something to throw over it or make a cover. It works for now. I do need some bulletin boards and a calendar and those kinds of things too. The walls are a khaki/grey color, and that is hard to tell in a picture.

I also painted my front door during this process. It went from white to red. Abbi took this picture for me just now. It has a bit of a glare on it and I hadn't the heart to tell her, so I'll post her photography anyways:-)

God must be teaching us patience!

2010-11-08T15:25:00.005-06:00

I think that 2010 could be the year of "patience" for us. I'm not sure we've always done so great at it. I've been a frazzled mess at times, I'll admit. There are moments where I just wonder what in the world, but then later it doesn't seem so bad after all.

You see, we had plan of what needed to be done in this house in a particular order. The order was intended to get us set up in an organized manner again and make life as normal as possible as quickly as possible. It was a no brainer to do the bedrooms first. We needed our areas to put our clothes and belongings and a comfortable place to sleep. Then we had bathroom #1 incident where Chloe got the carpet wet and it had to be removed a little sooner than expected. It was only a small bump and didn't really take that much time to throw together in the grand scheme of things.

Well, we are working on the school room and the next thing on the agenda was suppose to be the living area/kitchen. I knew it was going to be a big project, but figured it would be great to get it out of the way for the holidays and then worry about the utility room/bathroom #2 area after things had settled after Christmas.

Well, we got another unexpected change of plans when the toilet overflowed and the flooring had to be removed. Jamie worked most of the day in the bathroom chipping away old floor and getting the area prepped while I layed the floors in the school room.

So, now, the bathroom got bumped up to the top of the list and we are back to living in the brown cave for a bit longer. I'm NOT starting another project during the holidays (it is too busy and too fun of a month to miss out on ), so the area I'm most excited about getting complete will (once again) be put off to Lord only knows when. I say that because...hello!?! I can't ventilate this flooring in the winter. It isn't like heat doesn't cost enough already for it to fly out the window (literally).

So, I guess I'll be stripping wallpaper by week's end for the last time. Seems like they did not paint or prime the walls before they put the wallpaper on, so it'll be another "fun" job, but at least there isn't as much since it is only half a wall. My goal is 2-3 weeks again and then I'm setting my paintbrush down to enjoy December and what it means to our family.

I was so mad about this the other day. MY plans had been rearranged. MY comforts had been put off. MY schedule had been all messed up. Now that I've had a couple of days to mull it over in my mind, I don't really care so much. Who really cares in the grand scheme of life. None of this really makes a difference. Sure I was disappointed, but it'll get done. It just won't be when we WANT it done. I'm going to use the "off" time to get the garage arranged and organized. I still have boxes out there, but many are filled with books which will go in the school room.

Our patience has been tested once again. Sometimes I don't feel like I have very much patience, but with God's help and persistence, I'm getting there one step at a time.

And to add insult to injury, I just spilled half of the stain I had left. I barely thought I had enough anyways. I thought it would never come off my skin! So, off to the store I go...AGAIN! Patience, patience, patience!

GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

2010-11-04T21:29:00.002-05:00

Life just has a way of throwing you some curve balls, doesn't it? Jamie is with MCU tonight at a concert. It was one of his job "perks" and I'm glad he got to go. I had a busy day, but was planning on starting on the floor in the room we painted (which looks fabulous by the way).

We had a toilet issue today. I don't think it is anything major, but it was wanting to back up a bit and I thought I had fixed it. Well, apparently not! I hear the scream of death from the bathroom and Micah had overflowed the toilet. Well, this is the bathroom that still has carpet and is little, so it was basically a swimming pool in there (thankfully no #2!). So, I call Jamie all in a panic, and started ripping carpet out (WAY earlier than I wanted to), and cut myself somewhere along the way and blood was dripping everywhere, which made me even more mad.

So, I'm sitting in a messy wet bathroom floor with a bleeding finger and crying my eyes out. I just felt so frustrated and alone at that moment.

Which brings me to my next frustrating point. I was not planning on doing that bathroom until after the holidays. We are anxious to get our living area done, but we decided to do the other rooms to get our lives in some kind organized sense. I wanted to get the living area done, then put a tree up and chill out for a month or 2 and enjoy life and my home. I guess that won't be happening!! I suppose the next 2-3 weeks will be sucked up with me doing the bathroom and by then I won't have time to mess with the main area. That makes me want to cry some more. I suppose I'm not in any kind of race, but still!