My Favorite Jeans From a Year ago

The week after the 4th of July last year, I set out to make a new healthy life.  At the time, I didn't know what that would mean or look like, but now that I'm one year in, I will share.  I have been private about my changes thus far.  I didn't want it "out there" because that causes me more stress thinking people may be "looking" at me to succeed (or fail), and in the end I was not doing it for them or anybody else.

What worked for me was very simple and it may not work for everybody. I learned to eat in moderation by counting calories, I replaced the sugar in my tea with Stevia, and I learned to exercise. It didn't hurt that after 3 years of tweaking my thyroid dosage, my doctor finally figure out what worked best for my body and my thyroid is optimal.  I lost 1/2 pound to 1 pound a week until about March when I reached my final destination.  It was slow and steady, but slow and steady wins the race right? 

So, a year later, I find myself 36 pounds lighter, 4 jean sizes smaller,  running 3 miles about 3 times a week, with more energy, less anxiety, and a bit more self esteem.  I had been overweight for the better part of 10 years, so it was huge for me to get to a "normal" weight and then surpass that a while back.   I used to not even be able to run the mile in gym class and now I can run 3 at almost 40 years old and a mother of 4! 



I get up every day and make decisions (as we all do) on what I'll eat, what activity I will encounter, if I will exercise or not, etc.  I didn't "diet" and never used that word. I changed how I think of food and exercise and it has not been easy!  Nope!  I won't lie!  I had good weeks and weeks I wanted to quit like anybody else. 

So, here is me wearing my favorite jeans from last summer!  In fact, the receipt was still in the pocket where I had purchased my first running shoes! The jeans fit me like a glove at the time. 

 Here is Jamie and I at the beach in June of 2013.  I did not take an official "before" picture and I wish I had now!  So, this is probably the last picture of me at my heaviest. 

So Much Has Changed....

I do not blog enough, I realize.  I have great intentions, then time slips away from me and marches forward.  The last time I sat here was the end of the year.  Little did I know then how much life was going to send us into a tailspin in just a few short weeks!

In the middle of February, Jamie noticed WPSD in MCU's parking lot and he texted me and later he was called in a meeting.  They were told, very vaguely, that MCU had not received student financial aid the entire school year, money was running short, but they were fairly confident that things would work out.  He didn't even come home all that worried.  We watched the news piece later and  I remember saying, "surely they will get that money!" and Jamie sort of agreed and that was that. 

Then a week later, the news had gotten some more information, and WPSD in MCU's parking lot became a regular occurrence.  By the same time the next week, we were sitting in a restaurant trying to enjoy a long awaited date night, and watching an interview on WPSD on our phone that made our financial future look pretty bleak.  From this news report, it didn't really seem like Jamie would have a job on Monday, much less any longer than that!    Money was running out quickly! 

The next morning, there was a board meeting.  I remember staying up very late the night before trying to turn my brain off of what was to come, my heart racing, tears pouring out, and praying that things would turn around.  The next day, Dr. Imhoff stepped aside as president and Dr. Ken Winters came in.  We were, again hopeful that things might turn around.  He had money rolling in from donors very quickly and he was optimistic that the paperwork sample they were hand delivering would make the cut and money would start rolling in. 

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into another month and then we sat at the end of March with no federal money.  On April 1st, there were almost 50 lay offs, mostly in the Advantage building where Jamie worked.  Jamie found himself the only person left in his department and survived the cut.  I held my phone all day waiting for the text that said, "me" as my signal.  You see, his phone belonged to MCU and he was going to simply text "me" if HR called him out. I never got the text.

He came home that evening, I hugged him tightly, and he cried into my shoulder saying, "why me?" and "it was the worst day I've ever had at work".  MCU was another family to him.  They shared in each other's lives and he loved them.  He had to sit there and watch as each of his friend were picked off one by one, had 15 minutes to gather things, and leave...never knowing if he would be next. 

A prayer meeting was held on campus the following Sunday.  I looked around the prayer circle, tears streaming down my face, trying to feel hopeful, but knowing in my heart that things were very dim for this university.  The University that Jamie finally earned his bachelor's from in 2007, began to work in 2010, and later earning a Master's in 2012.  He loved it there!

On the 15th, the entire university got their walking papers as the DOE had told them there was no hope.  He went in the next day, signed some final paperwork and came home. We were disappointed in God's answer, but it was almost a relief to know an answer at the same time.  Our lives then began a different turn of resumes, job hunting, stress, tears, intermixed with normal life somehow.  It always seems like when we hit a "low" point, God would kind of show up and tap us on the shoulder.  We had 4 financial blessings in a week's time. I did not pay for my own groceries in about 2 weeks as a result, which is amazing!

He did have an interview the next week out of the gate.  Then the next day he got a phone call about another job in TN from a place we had never heard of.  He called them, the interview was set up the next day, he interviewed on a Monday, job was offered on a Tuesday, and the rest is history.  He started his new career a week ago!  He comes home chattering away about this new place, he gets to work with his former MCU supervisor, it has a creative edge to it, but still sort of doing what he did at MCU too. He is very exciting about his future there. 




We attended MCU's last graduation to see my sister on Saturday.  Jamie marched in with the professors and sat on stage with them.  It was very hard for tears not to well up in my eyes as the acting president spoke of April 15th.  I looked around the room at MCU employees that may still be scrambling around with the unknowns.  It was a very bittersweet day!   I'm not sure how well I would have handled it had Jamie not obtained a job! 

God knows what he is doing.  I feel like something wonderful will go into that beautiful campus when this is all over.  I pray daily for those looking for work. My heart just goes out to each and every family that is still waiting.  There are many single incomes, married couples, etc that were effected by this lay-off.  My heart is still sad about it all, but I feel like we can close a chapter and move forward instead of looking back at the nightmare. 

As the Year Ends

It is hard not to ponder the things that have happened around us, to us, and with us the last few years.  2010 was the year of ministry job loss, which caused a loss of people we thought were friends, which caused us to move back very abruptly without a home.  When things seemed to be falling back into a normal pattern then my Daddy died suddenly in 2011, which led to 2012 where the grief process was still really thick and awful.  Combine that with a few health problems that were discovered with me (hypothyroidism and high blood pressure) during that same year.  It kind of sometimes felt like we were being defeated!

Yes, there are always reasons to smile. I happen to have 4 good little reasons and a wonderful husband that always seem to know the right thing to do or say.  The kids being so resilient and easy going about all of the above kept me going strong.

2013 was a year of change, but also a year of normalcy and healing and health.  It is hard to describe 2013 in just a few words.  Jamie started teaching, which was a goal/dream for him to be able to do and was able to teach 5 classes for MCU this year.  My health problems were under control after a couple of scares in 2012.  We started running, which is just crazy!  I am 30 pounds less and dropped 3 jean sizes.  I will blog more on that later;-)

We settled back into our old church who always loved us no matter where life took us.  I'm not sure I realized how special that was until churches have hurt us.  Poplar Spring was there for us even when we didn't go to church there, which was such an amazing blessing when life was tough.  I can't really say the same for my past churches. 


Like everything in life, nothing is perfect and I did bury my last grandparent.  My Papaw was very special to me.  He was always my 2nd Daddy and now I don't have an earthly Daddy of my own.  In turn, I have missed my own Daddy a lot lately too.  I find myself with feelings of jealousy a bit towards people my age that speak of doing things with their Dads or Grandparents. I wonder if anybody truly appreciates all those moments until they can't be?

So, 2013 will soon be just a memory and 2014 is on the horizon.  2014 makes me a bit nervous for some reason that I can't quite put my finger on.  God has got it though:-)

In 2014 Jamie and I will celebrate 20 years of marriage, I will welcome a Great nephew, and my son will begin high school!  My goals for 2014 are not really resolutions.  I want to run a 5K at some point with my husband (perhaps a good 20 year anniversary celebration?).  I want to keep making healthy choices, which is more of a progression of what I'm already doing than something new.  

Priceless Moments

Last week I had Micah and Abbi in the car with me and I said to them, "Y'all sure didn't ask for much this year" and Micah commented, "Well, I really can't think of anything I need or want." Similar comments were made by my other kids in the past few weeks too as we talked about what they might like to have.  It was kind of amazing to me that in 2013, kids can live a very modest lifestyle and still be content.  I even commented to Micah in the car that day that the Bible calls us to be content. 

Jamie and I were able to snag 4 Kindle Fires for a very great deal this year and as I was having these conversations with my kids, I knew they were going to be so excited!  So, we got up on Christmas morning, they had a stocking and 2 gifts each under the tree.  They opened each and were happy with their new things then ventured into the homeschool room where Santa leaves any gift that they have to share.  Sometimes it is art supplies, last year a trampoline, and this year a box full of Kindles and Kindle cases. 

So, they start opening the box and you can see from the photo how priceless the moment was.  They were beyond excited and joyful at the gift they were able to enjoy.  It was such a cute moment and one of us really should have gotten video had we been thinking!  But a picture is worth a thousand words. 

We enjoyed Christmas at home in our Pajamas, eating snacks, playing with new toys, etc.  It was the first Christmas in the history of Christmases that Jamie and I didn't have a place to go.  It was strange in some ways.  We have had Grandparents pass away and/or become unable to do these things and we only have 2 places to really be.  The years where we struggled with the constant hustle and bustle are traded for quieter days of feeling like we didn't appreciate the hustle and bustle enough! 

I was able to share a priceless moment with my little family in my little house on Christmas morning that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.  We miss those that have gone before us and are now celebrating at the feet of Jesus every day while we go on living and making memories to etch in our minds. 

And while my kids are content with the things they have as they should be, we feel very blessed to be able to give them a few goodies that they can enjoy too. 

Papaw

I was blessed with 3 amazing grandparents growing up (My other grandfather passed away before I was born).  They all had their special way in my life. I had a set of parents, then these 3 extensions that treated me as their own in every way. 

In July we learned that my 97 year old Papaw had stomach cancer.  Treatments were very risky and he opted out.  He may have been 97, but no one would have ever known it.  You may have driven by his old white house to see him mowing, on his 4 wheeler or running his dogs.  If he could be outside, that is where he was.  We would often go visit and he'd be sitting outside and that has been true for as long as I can remember.   He had some limitations due to his age.  He didn't quite get around as quickly or easily as he used to, but still was able to walk.  He couldn't see as well, so he no longer drove.  His short term memory may have failed him sometimes, but he was still living alone and even I forget things at my age:-)  He was remarkable and I told everybody that! 

When we were kids, we probably drove Mamaw and Papaw nuts!  Their house was just across the field about 1/4 of a mile, so an easy walk or bike ride away. I know there were summer days where we ran in and out of their house and if we got on their nerves, they never said it!  We were always greeted with smiles, jokes, games, and something to do outside.  I recall during one slumber party I had around the 4th grade, we were bored, so we went of Papaw's and he took us fishing with old cane poles in a pond on his farm.  He never said a word, but was happy to take us on our little adventure.  I used to sit up next to him in his recliner all squished up and he would tell us stories, play games, jokes, or we would watch TV together.

Actually the stories never stopped.  Just in the last few weeks, we learned more about his courtship with mamaw, their marriage, the drunk magistrate that married them, and little pearls of wisdom that can only come from 97 years of life.   I count the last 4 weeks of his life, standing around a hospital bed, a tremendous gift!  Just the Thursday before he passed as I was sitting with him, he would reach up and pat me on the top of the head, the cheek or grab and hold my hand.  I'm not sure he always knew who I was anymore. His mind had started to slip in the last couple of weeks, but on some level I think he realized the connection with all of us anyway or there were glimpses in and out of reality that he realized who we were. 

He loved my children and I'm grateful for memories my kids will have of their great Grandfather telling them stories.  He always complimented my parenting and how well behaved my children were and even my homeschooling.  He was my #1 fan!  He would tease them and snicker and was still doing that even last week. 

Things changed a few days before he died.  It was perhaps a stroke, but we will never know.  We knew that things had changed quickly and that he would soon be meeting his wife, children, sister, parents, and Jesus in heaven!  My sister and I just happened to be the ones with him when he met Jesus face to face.  I can't quite describe that moment with words adequately.  I have seen 4 precious souls take their first breaths, and I have now seen a precious soul take his last.  It was very special to me that I got to talk to him in those last moments, hold his hand, and reassure him that we were all OK.  My sister and I didn't get those moments with my Daddy and I have always been burdened by that fact.  But I did with my 2nd Daddy.  He went peacefully and quickly (too quick to even call anybody) on Nov. 26 about 9:40pm. 

My last grandparent has left this earth, but one day we will meet again!  To that, I have no doubt as God' promises are true.  We always laughed at his little misquotes of Bible scripture, but in the end, nothing matters except an acceptance for Christ to cover your sins. 

I loved Papaw very much!  I woke up Monday morning with the thought, "Wow!  He is really gone!  No more stories, jokes, or his cute little Papaw laugh"  It is all gone from this earth, but I know his Thanksgiving reunion in heaven was sweet!  He was the BEST!  I miss him already!

Now, it is December and I'm trying to get in the Christmas spirit:-)  It is harder sometimes when things are weighing on your mind.  However, I have 4 beautiful kids, a wonderful husband, a precious mother, sister, nieces, and extended family that will share the month with me. 

Spinning Plates

We are in the midst of October. I'm peering over onto 2 birthdays, Halloween, a Gender Reveal party, Thanksgiving, then Christmas!  How quickly time passes and how short our attention spans as humans.  We live in a very fast paced whirlwind at times.  We are tired, busier than ever, yet we are continually taking another plate to spin.  Do you remember the old circus trick of spinning plates?  The entertainer would begin with 1, then 2, then finally progress to 10 or more.  When he had just 1 or 2 or 3, he could keep them spinning easily, but the more that was added, he was frantically running back and forth trying to keep them spinning.  Eventually, they would start to slow down, wobble, and sometimes even fall to the ground in a crash. 

Sometimes I feel like I have some spinning plates, priorities have to be set, then you start the running back and forth between the plates.  Usually the one of least importance or the one that you are able to "let go" for a bit will wobble or crash (even temporarily) while we run back and forth. 

I think we all know that we often get too much on our plates.  Those things aren't always bad, but having too much can be bad, because what are you letting "go" in order to spin that plate?  There is only so much time, energy, and efforts in a given day.   I decided a long time ago, that I refused to be a plate spinner on a regular basis.  Sometimes I feel that way, but sometimes we've had to say "no" to good things in order for us to keep the plates spinning that are most important, the plates that would be devastating to let fall to the ground. 

May I always be the wife or Mom that will let a plate fall of less importance if need be!  May I always be the type of wife or mother to capture memories, have traditions, listen intently, that will laugh, that will cry, and that will be there in all times and in all situations.  I have that type of mother!  I appreciate her more than words can write.  I have that type of husband!  I appreciate and love him more every day!  He works hard for our family and sometimes has way too many plates spinning, so that I can have a few less and I love him for that.  He is a good man!  He is the man that God intended him to be.  My kids are precious and a gift!  They warm my heart and are things that I never dreamed of being.

2 Years Later...

On Friday September 9th, 2011, I went to bed with my alarm set on my phone for soccer the next morning (the first of the season).  I was the "snack mom" for Chloe's early game and had everything laid out to make everything run smoother that morning.  At 3:20 am my phone was ringing, but I had no comprehension of the time (I later looked).  I just knew it was dark and that something must be terribly wrong when I looked at my phone and clearly on the little screen was printed, "My Parents" with their home number.  I answered the phone with an abrupt, "Hello!  What's wrong?" and didn't know who's voice would meet me on the other side.  It was my mother and she was telling me something, but her words sounded jumbled, but maybe it was my brain that was jumbled at the time.  I quickly said, "I can't understand you, is Daddy sick?" thinking I might need to make a trip to the Murray ER or to their home.  She said, "No, Daddy's dead".  I heard those words clear and distinct and I responded with a shocked, "WHAT!?!?" and told her I was on my way.  Suddenly the 25 miles between us seemed like a million as I sprung out of bed and turned the lights on.  Jamie was already up and asked, "He's dead isn't he?" and how he knew this I had no idea, because at the time I had no words and couldn't hardly bare to utter the phrase, "Daddy's dead" and still really can't that well.  

The moments that followed are burned in my brain forevermore.  The sights, the sounds, the people, the reactions, my Daddy sitting in his favorite chair at the table, slumped, face discolored, arms folded in front of him, feet up on his toes, the silly bag of Lifesavers the kids gave him for Father's day in front of him (he kept refilling the bag), his overalls on, and people seemingly everywhere.  

No one knows what happened.  My mother went to bed around 9 with him in that very spot.  He often stayed up late and had asked her to stay up a while longer, but she was exhausted from a day at work.  He stayed up, I'm sure fiddling with the things that laid in front of him at that dining table, which was typical of him.  She got up around 2:30 and thought he had dozed off, went closer, and realized he was gone, still warm, sweat beads on his brow. He had made tomato juice just hours earlier, spent some time outside, in his garden, went to see his Dad, and somehow it was his last day on earth.

The hours and days that followed were full of food, people, choosing caskets and flowers, feeling tired and unable to sleep, feeling hungry but unable to eat, and he was buried on Tuesday the 13th beside his Grandfather and even at that point, it was unreal. I remember the tears flowing freely at the graveside and I lost it as they carried his casket to the hole in the ground. I felt like my knees were buckling under me and I couldn't hardly catch my breath.  This was it!  The end of the road for him on earth. 

Holidays seems harder as I have one less person in my life to cross of a list.  Father's day is a bit empty and hollow now.  I find that people that are 30 somethings like myself rarely understand losing a parent so their reaction towards it is to tell me about when their grandparents died, which is world's apart from losing a parent.  So, leaning on my side of the family has been essential and Jamie has been nothing, but wonderful in letting me grieve however I needed at the time.

I will never forget this day, the good times of my Dad, the sweetness of him being my kids' G-Daddy and how he would make them giggle.  I will never forget that.  He is in heaven based upon God's promise and I will see him again one day.  Time doesn't actually heal all wounds.  Grief changes, but is always a bit present.  I can handle it now better, because the shock of it all is past and all the "firsts" have been encountered, but that Daddy sized hole is always in my heart. 

Updates and Happenings!

I'm terrible about updating this thing:-)  I'm trying to do better, but times creeps up on me! 

Chloe was saved on Mother's day and baptized on July 7th.  I was caught by surprise a bit, but was gently nudged by God that "age" or "maturity" simply has nothing to do with it.  She had just turned 7, but being the "baby" of the family is often thought of to be younger in some ways, I guess.  We have been tremendously blessed in 2013!  We are at a new church and have 2 new Christian girls!  What could be better than seeing your kids born into Christ's kingdom? 

This summer has come and gone.  We took a Hughes family trip to Tybee Island for a week in June, Jamie and I celebrated 19 years of marriage while we were there (sort of...I don't think we ever officially celebrated), the kids have gone to 3 VBS's, they made new friends, and played a lot outdoors as usual during this mild and less humid summer break!  Good ol' summertime fun!

Again, we started our school year in July.  We began our 5th week today and I have an 8th grader, 6th, 5th, and 2nd.  It is going well after several technical (frustrating) difficulties. I think we are getting our groove now.  Our history is derived from the American Girl Novels, so you can imagine the girls' interest and soaking it up like a sponge. So what if the Revolutionary Period is better known as "Felicity's time period" if they remember it? 

Jamie completed his first 5K, which was his gift for Father's day and we made it an overnight trip.  I hung out at the hotel while he ran in the dark in Nashville.  He enjoyed it and was all pumped ready to do another. 

We joined the YMCA after vacation to keep up with the kids' excellent swimming!  Naturally Jamie gravitated to the treadmills.  After a 2nd teenager in our church was admitted to St. Jude's, we signed up for the St. Jude Family Fun Run in Memphis in December.  Our little mission project for the year.  Our hotel is booked, our running shoes are bought, and we are practicing for our (whopping) 1 mile walk/run.  I was so afraid I would be the dead weight that I have been working out 5 days a week, cut out sweet tea (gasp!), donned some new running shoes and am hitting the parks early in the morning and the treadmills when weather doesn't permit.  My stamina is increasing, I feel more energetic, patient, and am making better food choices.  Jamie is still holding out that I will want to do a 5K.  At the rate i'm going, perhaps that may happen in a couple of YEARS!  I'm slow, but can see steady progress for ME (unimpressive by most).  Time will tell, but it has been something new, for sure.  My goal is just not to be the slowpoke at the Fun Run! 

2013 is chalking up to be one of our best years yet!

Summertime!

We have been out of homeschool routine since the end of April for a much needed break.  The first couple of weeks were rainy, cool (we needed jackets), etc and I had thought my brilliant plan to take off May and June for our break to avoid the heat of July was probably not wise.  However, the summer is shaping up and has so far been mild in comparison to past years and I'll take it.  Days where the kids play out all day long, track in dirt on my kitchen floor, at the end of the day our yard looks like a toy disaster and their feet are covered in dirt.  Yep, those are the best days!  We have another month of those days!  I haven't quit pinned a start date yet, but will begin my studying and planning after our beach vacation next week.

Since my last post, Abbi was baptized, and Chloe asked Jesus to be her savior on Mother's day!  3 of my children are secured in heaven and that makes my heart almost burst.  Hannah isn't quite there yet, but she is thoughtful and meticulous, and I have confidence that one day she will make that decision too.  All in God's timing and I will not barge ahead of that!

We have been involved with our new church (old church?  new again church?...not sure what to call it) since April full time (Sunday mornings in March).  My girls are in AWANA there on Wednesday nights and I was shocked beyond measure when they all won awards last week at the conclusion of the AWANA year.  I mean, they only had a few weeks to accomplish what some kids had been doing since August.  I confess that some of the verses were already some they knew (we memorize scripture here), but still! Hannah got a trophy, Chloe a 2nd place ribbon, and Abbi a silver pin.  I was very pleasantly shocked!  AWANA is a great program for kids!

Micah is starting to really get plugged in with the youth.  There hasn't been a ton to get involved with just yet, but he is making friends, giggling about conversations he has had with the teens, etc.  That is a start and I'm so thankful!  It is tough being a teen.  It is tougher being a teen with no friend connections in your favorite place!  He never complains, but as a mother, I sit and worry how I'm screwing my kids up all the time.  I think we all do!   I think we are stepping in the right direction.  I know we are as God wouldn't lead us astray! 

We will be on Tybee Island soaking some rays next weekend, which is hard for me to imagine right now as I feel like my "to do" list is too long.  I never really look forward to vacations though (well, the vacation part I do).  Call me a stick in the mud or party pooper, but I loathe the car drive and dread it so badly, that it seems like Mount Everest stands in the way of me and the vacation spot.  It isn't that I don't enjoy vacations or going places. I do!  It is just very hard for me to get "excited" when Mount Everest stands in the way of me and my fun.  I'm always perfectly content once I get there. It is the "getting there" part that is just so...ugh!!!  So, Tybee Island here we come again to meet you, and I will be so happy to see you once we get there.  Until then, I will check things off my "to do" list and get my gear ready for Mount Everest! 

Homeschooling 101

 

If my kids and I are out and about before 3pm on a school day, we usually have at least 1 person ask why they are "out" of school.  We politely answer and carry on about our business.  Sometimes there are follow-up questions.  Sometimes there are positive remarks (sometimes the opposite).  When I meet someone new, often times, I'm asked why I chose to homeschool.  I politely tell them a few points of our decision depending on my time or situation at the moment.  It is often followed by, "I admire someone that could do that" or the opposite, "I could never do that!" and almost always something about their own patience level and the need for breaks.  

My kids have answered an array of questions that have mostly to do with how easy or difficult their work is or if they wear pajamas to school or even bother to get dressed.  Most are shocked to realize that homeschooling isn't really all that easy and we do get dressed in the mornings;-)  The advantage for the kids is that they don't have work to do in the evening (yet).  

I've been met with well meaning people (maybe?), sometimes educators themselves, that like to indicate to me that they have met a 10 year old student that had enrolled in their school that couldn't read.  To which, I politely nod and smile I suppose.  I have told someone before that the reason they are not seeing the successful homeschoolers is because...well...it is successful!  Those kids may never enter a public school classroom.  What does this have to do with me by the way?  I have had some well-meaning people tell me that they thought Kentucky should have stricter homeschooling laws and all kids should be tested.  Because the tests are the greatest indicator of learning?  They are a faulty (although the best we have perhaps) indicator of ones knowledge.  This, again, has little to nothing to do with me personally.  I actually had someone laugh at people getting homeschool diplomas.  Don't let those 2 words fool you when strung together.  Those kids earn their diplomas (and I'm not stating that they are getting GED's either). 

Some people seem to ease up on the questions when they find out that I have a teaching degree.  Actually, while my teaching degree may give me some theory, ideas, and terminology knowledge, I was never educated on how to run a 1 room schoolhouse, which is essentially what I'm doing.  It is different. You can be a successful homeschooling teacher/parent without having ever been to college yourself. Guess what?  You have to relearn most of the stuff even if you did go to college, because you forget! 

The funny thing is and has been for 3 years.  I really don't preoccupy my thoughts with the way other family's choose to educate their children:  public, private, or homeschool.  It isn't a big deal to me and I'm really not (contrary to what people may think about homeschoolers) going around secretly judging all that aren't doing exactly what I do.  I don't think that my way is better or that public school is evil. 

What I do believe is that homeschooling is a calling of God and not all are called to it just as all are not called to the mission field, ministry,  to lead up the Women's group at church, or to keep the babies in nursery. We are all called to do different things.  I've said that I would never homeschool and here I sit.  Sometimes God has to smack you in the face to get you to listen.  After starting this journey 3 years ago, giving myself time to acclimate to the changes in our home, we love it.  It is freeing!  We set our own schedule, we have more family time, my kids can play and explore to their heart's content, it fosters sibling relationships, I can choose their curriculum and its worldview, and they can work at their own pace and timing.  

What I have found out is that if you look at the pictures above, letting my kids read on the trampoline on a bright sunny spring day is homeschooling at its finest.  Micah so engrossed in a book that he can't let go of it and carries it to soccer practice, makes me feel like not allowing TV during the day is a great thing to motivate creativity and reading adventures.  What the future brings around here, I cannot tell you. I learned to put my crystal ball away years ago in the ministry, but right now, these days, the ones I'm living are some of the best that I will have in my short life. 

Ch ch changes...

First of all, we have had an eventful month.  Abbi accepted Christ on the 13th.  I knew she was contemplating it and asking questions for a while now.  She is a "ponderer".  She asks questions, weighs things out, and thinks about them.  Honestly, much like myself. After a lesson on the passover, she asked me some questions and I could see the look of seriousness on her face.  I answered them as tactfully and accurately as I could.  The Holy Spirit was all over me during that lesson and now I know why. I could just "tell" even before the questions that something big was about to happen in our little home.  She came to me later and said she had prayed for salvation, we talked some more, and celebrated that afternoon in this house over what God is doing in our family.  It is amazing to see your kids come to Christ!  Just simply amazing!

Also, after much prayer and contemplation for our church needs, we "coincidentally" attended Poplar Spring on the Sunday that we "coincidentally" chose to go to a particular Sunday school class (it was literally like eenie meenie miney moe and we just went into one) that "coincidentally" chose to talk about a new satellite church that would be located in Murray.  We were already discussing making the big drive to the lake every 3X a week, which is one reason we visited (although we liked to visit from time to time).  So, we waited for the vote which was the first Sunday night in March.  So, we attended the first week and it felt like an answer to a prayer for us.  It was closer for us to drive (not too much further than we were presently driving) and has the more casual contemporary service like we (aka my kids) are accustomed to.  We just tied up every loose end at our current church on Sunday, so we will start going to "The Spring" and "Poplar Spring" this next week!  I feel like I'm going back home.  My kids are on board and excited and I have some specific prayers that I'm hoping that God will show up on soon, but I am confident he will! 

I think that Community Fellowship helped us to heal from a very difficult time.  It was the first church where Jamie was not "paid staff" and we were able to volunteer freely without strings or expectations attached (nice!) and we met several really good people that I hope wont' be strangers.  We are used to moving around, but I really think our "moving" days are over!  I saw how incredibly amazing Poplar Spring was when my Daddy died and that is not something I have forgotten.  It has stuck with me close in my mind.  They are certainly a loving church family and we look forward to reconnecting there. 

Easter has come and gone, our school calendar is drawing to a close (4 more weeks), Jamie is teaching a class and has 2 more lined up (praise God for taking care of our financial needs), and summer vacation will be here before we turn around twice. 

Life is full of changes right now, but all for the better!

Frequently Asked Questions

I suppose everybody has their own list.  It seems that people often ask the same questions.  You know the saying, "If I had a nickel..."

In no particular order:

*  "Is that your real name?"-- I cannot even begin to imagine how many times I have answered this particular question. My entire life was filled with introducing myself to someone, having to repeat my name (because they think I say "bethany" or something similar) and then answering this golden question.  I have had people follow up with, "Is that on your birth certificate?"  and "Your parents actually named you that?" too.  I had 1 guy actually stand there and laugh when all the answers to these questions were to the affirmative.

*  "Do you slay vampires?"-- Yes, this is also name related, but is almost always asked upon the conclusion of any of the above 3 questions.  Usually the person will chuckle and think they are original.  In which, I too kind of chuckle to flatter them.  If they only knew!  The funny thing is that I have never watched 1 episode of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer".  Not even one!  It just isn't my cup of tea.

*  "Are all these kids yours?" -- I still get asked this frequently.  I suppose they think I'm babysitting?  I don't know, but I find it kind of funny.  I have 4 kids, not 14. I'm not a Duggar!  Our family is complete unless God intervenes in a very mighty way.  I love my little family and it is the perfect size of not being too small or too big!

*  "Do you know what causes that?" --  This one is becoming less frequent as my kids get older  I have noticed, so possibly will soon be totally phased out.  I hope.  I suppose now that I'm not pregnant or holding a baby (or both) that this isn't on the radar as much.   It is such an awkward moment for me where I figure I turn different shades of red. 

*  "Are you having any more children?" --  No, we are not having any more children by our choices.  If we have a child, it will be by God's great intervention.  My family is complete and I'm not getting any younger here!  I've always wondered why people ask this though.  Maybe they do think I am a Duggar!

*  "Are you going to homeschool all the way through?" --  This is also common and usually followed by, "I could never do it", "my kids won't listen to me", or "you must have a lot of patience".  Yes, we do plan to homeschool through high school.  We feel led to homeschooling by God.  However, life can change instantaneously and I would never presume what my life in 11 years will look like.  I want to, but we take this thing called life one moment at a time, because that is all we really have.  I've always found it humorous that when someone asks where the kids go to school and I answer that we homeschool that the above 3 comments are usually muttered or something similar.  It is sort of like they are defending themselves, but why?  I don't really think that much about other people's schooling choices.  I don't really care, honestly:-)  What works for one doesn't work for another

* "Can your kids actually graduate High School like that?" --  Homeschooling is 100% legal in all 50 states.  KY just happens to be a very lenient state too, which is a blessing!  Yes, my kids will graduate high school.  It will not be easy, it may take some tutors or some helps along the way (we aren't there yet), but they will have credits and transcripts just like kids in public school. And colleges are known to actively seek out homeschoolers! 

* "You must have your hands full?" -- This may be more of a statement than question.  My answer is always the same, "we are busy, but we love it".

*  "Do you work?" --  This is a loaded question as I DO work!  I do not get paid for my job(s).  My focus during the normal work week is educating my children in addition to all the other mommy things that everybody else is doing:-)

*  "How do you put up with him" or "You really have five kids." when referring to my husband --  I'm not sure why people ask this or say this.  Just because my husband jokes around doesn't make him an child  He is serious when the situation calls for, has a strong work ethic, and he has always been a wonderful help in every aspect of our family (from housework to doing 2am feedings).  He is no child.  I usually respond about how much he helps me.  I know people are joking. I do have a sense of humor, but I will take up for him too. We have sort of "reduced" men in our society, I think. . I find it sad actually.

Hello 2013!

As we were thinking back on 2012, it was fairly uneventful.  Jamie graduated with his Masters (officially in August), we went on our first mission trip as a family with the church to Texas in May, Jamie became a deacon sometime in the summer, and we took our first family mini-vacation with just the 6 of us to St. Louis in September.  We had a couple of medical situations between Jamie and I, but those turned out to be nothing (Praise God).  However, there wasn't just a great deal to stand out in this year. After what 2010 and 2011 brought us, I really have enjoyed a big bunch of uneventful life.   It is still exciting, interesting, challenging, and full of memories!

So, here we sit at the doorstep of another year.  I never have big hopes and dreams for a new year. I think we all like new beginnings and this gives us a new beginning every 365 days to embark on.  For myself, I'll continue to live my fairly uneventful life at home with my kids watching them grow, learn, explore, laugh, and make childhood memories.  This season of my life is wonderful! 

Nostalgia

This time of year has a way of making us all nostalgic.  I have been itching to crack the Christmas decor out for a couple of weeks now, but I have resisted. It is not that I want to "skip" Thanksgiving, but more that I just love Christmas.  I love the celebration of our savior coming to earth.  I love how we can give to others and just get together and have a great time.  I love the music and the festivities and corny Christmas displays on the people's lawns.  I love that my kids get so excited as Jamie and I work behind the scenes trying to give them a few things that they'd like to have.  I think Christmas brings about a lot of warm memories of special simpler times in my life. 

It is also around this time of year, that my Daddy starts to come into my mind even more.  I see hunters on facebook with their "prize" photos and know that my Dad would have been in the woods every day.  He loved it so much.  It is Thanksgiving and his chair will be filled by another and I catch myself looking over there and trying to imagine what he would look like sitting there.  We sit elbow to elbow at my mom's table and then still have people sitting all over the place.  It is cramped, but full of laughter and fun.  Last year was very hard and this year should be easier.  Somehow I'm still catching a lump in my throat as time passes on.  Everybody says to hang onto the memories, which I do.  I look at pictures daily almost and think of things that make me smile, but in the back of my head I think, 'no more memories will be made' and in our humans minds we know that they've missed out on a lot as this is all we know.  I suppose, when we get to heaven, we will see God in his glory and realize that our earthly life is where were were "missing out" and our perceptions will change. 

God's Timing

Jamie and I are waiting for an answer from God.  I bet most people are waiting for something in their life to happen (or not be happening as the case may be).  I feel like we go through our entire existence with something that we are waiting on almost always. I don't like it anymore than the next guy, but being a parent has helped me understand it a bit better I think.  If God gave us everything we wanted in the timing we thought we needed it, we would never build character or appreciation for the blessing when it is bestowed upon us.  Would we rejoice in the answer if it were immediate?  Would we learn the value of patience?  If we don't wait and try something ourselves to fill the gap, it probably won't fit even if we wedge it in there.  We must wait.  We wait upon the Lord, because it is what is right, what is good for us, and what will bless us in the end.

I was thinking today about hunger.  If money were no object and I was really really hungry, I could choose to go through the McD's drive through and get almost immediate satisfaction for my hunger pangs.  I could also choose to go a little further down the road, go to a sit-down restaurant that serves a menu of my favorite foods that are cooked to order with a server that will be there to fulfill my every need.  In the end, which one will leave me better satisfied?  My belly will be full either way, but which will taste better?  be a more enjoyable experience?  give me a sense of satisfaction?  be healthier?  will be cooked exactly like I needed it?  will give me leftovers to enjoy the next day?  will I remember the most?  will curb my cravings?

You see, I could choose to go to McD's.  God allows us free choice in this life.  However, if we wait for HIS timing and HIS will, it might be the difference between Prime Rib and a Big Mac.  There is truly no comparison.  If I eat the McD's and really wanted the Prime Rib, I will probably still crave it even when my belly is full.  However, in reverse, I would not care about the McD's in the least, because what I had was so much better!   In the end, it is a no brainer, but it is our sense of needing a quick fix that sends us through the McD's drive through making difference choices than what God really wanted to bless us with. 

God really does want the best for us.  He really does want us to stay in HIS will and we often choose a faster, easier route to get there the way we want.  Right now, Jamie and I are waiting a bit on what God has in store for us and we are frustrated a bit in the timing.  It isn't the way we had envisioned things, but perhaps the blessing will be worth it in the end.  He has always taken care of us and sustained us.  I think we just grow so weary and TIRED of the things we cannot see or understand.  

1 Year Later

Monday was September 10th.  Probably the worst dreaded date on the calendar since last September 10th for my family and I.  It was 1 year since my Daddy was alive.  We've now made it through every holiday, birthday, FATHER'S day, a fall without hunting, a summer with a garden, visits without LifeSavers or 4 wheeler rides, and now a whole year has passed without me hearing my Daddy's voice or laugh.  The grief process is a peculiar beast.  The tide will roll in just to be hit with a tidal wave that consumes you once again.  It is often lonely and always heart-breaking.  It is hard to explain and even harder to put into words for people that may have not had grief so close to them.  It feels so unjust and so unfair sometimes and I really feel like screaming and kicking like a toddler to have my way.  I don't understand what God has done.  I know I never will.  Some things in life just don't make sense to our human brains. 

Here I am in my 30's and have crossed a milestone that some 55 year old people have yet to reach.  I didn't bury a grandparent until I was an adult.  My kids have already crossed that milestone in their life and my brain tells me that Chloe won't ever truly remember him.  I hear of couples celebrating Golden Anniversaries or big 80th birthday parties and it is hard not to feel a bit of jealousy that my Daddy got neither (they were at 43 years and he was 66 years old) .  I hear of people that pray for health miracles and then receive that miracle and yet we didn't have a chance to ask God to help.  His decision was made and it was final without us giving our heartfelt petition to the Father that controls all.  Instead, I have prayed for peace, comforts, and understanding and praised him for being God even if I don't understand.  "He gives and takes away" is a song that now has newfound meaning and brings tears to my eyes almost every time I hear it.  I just wanted to say Good-Bye.  No, I'm lying...I just wanted 15 more years.

Maybe the 2nd year will be a bit easier as the milestones roll around.  I'm not really sure.  I tell people sometimes how my Daddy never really leaves my heart.  He is never far from my thoughts and there seems to always be a bit of sadness surrounding that.  Time may not really heal all wounds.  You just kind of learn to get around them, grow from them, appreciate the memories behind them, and realize that heaven will be even sweeter as you get closer yourself. 

I've learned how strong the Waldrop family really is.  I've learned what true forgiveness really is and I can only say that it is wonderful and sweet!  I've learned how to reach out to other people a bit more during their sufferings in life and I have not forgotten those that reached out to me.  I've learned that sometimes non-action can stab your heart so much that it hurts and I am ashamed that I may have been a part of someone's additional pain before all this.  I've learned what NOT to say to those that are grieving and to just be sincere and be there.  I've learned that no matter what happens in life, God is in control.  Hugs really do make a small difference sometimes.  I've learned that when it is all said and done, I may have been way more of a Daddy's girl that I would have humanly admitted to anyone as an adult woman. 
 

St. Louis is all the Buzz

So, I booked our hotel and we are headed to St. Louis for the week of Labor day (3 days, 2 nights).  The kids are all excited and so are we.  I think Hannah may have been a baby the last time we went.  I truly can't remember!  Jamie hasn't had many days off in over a year and he is ready for a little true R&R now that he is out of his Master's Program!  And, wonder of wonders, St. Louis opened an American Girl Store this summer.  Guess where we will be?  It will be our last stop as to (hopefully) not be in the thick of the weekend crowd.  The joys of homeschooling!  Taking a vacation when everybody else is in school AND counting it as a field trip!  We even found a family friendly hotel that serves hot breakfast AND dinner!  A hotel that is just a mile from Forest park and has 2 meals for no extra pay!  How can you beat that?  So, the kids are all a buzz and we are planning out stops.  I hope that the rain will stay away for those 3 days as much of our activity is outdoors.

The past few days have swelled in me moments of nostalgia.  I look at my kids and realize how big they are.  They are growing fast and I'm trying not to blink too many times so I won't miss it.  September is on the horizon, which means that my Daddy has been dead almost a year. It seems crazy to think that a year can seem so long yet so short all at once.  Grief is different than I ever thought.  I've lost sweet Grandmothers that were like other mothers to me, an aunt, and uncle, but...somehow losing my Daddy has stayed with me.  He is never too far from my thoughts.  Sometimes I get a chuckle out of something he did or how I would think his reaction would be, but sometimes tears well up and I feel so lonely and sad.  I never know how much grief resembled fear and loneliness.  I can be content and happy, but there is still always a chunk of my heart that is a bit tender and sad.  I had someone come up to me last week at my mother's church and ask me if I was "David's daughter" I told him I was and he told me how nice of a man my Daddy was.  It is nice for people to tell you that from time to time.  It isn't like you are going to make me sad by mentioning it.  You might just make my day for reminding me that others haven't forgotten. 

Jamie is finally finished with school and relief is written all over the Hughes family's faces.  We are all so happy to have more family time!  2 years is a long time, but he graduated with a perfect 4.0 and I'm proud of him.  He worked hard for it and he earned it.  Who would have ever thought that teenager in high school would have a Masters with a 4.0!  I always knew he was capable and my husband even became addicted to getting the A's like I used to be! 

British Tea Party and the Olympics

We are in full swing for the new school year.  I almost forget that everybody else is still on Summer break until next week.  We did a big unit on Great Britain to gear up for our big unit on the Olympics.  Well, you can't have a unit on Great Britain without a British tea party!  So, I planned the menu and the girls planned the attire.  They wanted to dress up and they forced Micah into the hat.  It worked out and everybody had fun (and looked cute). 

We had scones with jam and butter, cucumber sandwiches, fruit, and a couple of choices of tea.  They tried everything and enjoyed the tea, but decided they liked iced tea better. I have to agree, although I do like it better in the winter. 

Watching the Olympics has been interesting.  They have really looked forward to it this year and learned about the different sports.  I'm glad to get to share this with them and I think I've been more excited this year than I have in a long time.  It is fun to see things through a child's eye and route for your team.  We do not pay for television and don't get good reception with our indoor antenna, so we now have a cord stringing down our hallway to our bedroom for the antenna as it picks up better in that room.  So, for the next 2 weeks, we may be tripping over a cord, but we will be enjoying the sports together. 

Let me off!

Have you ever felt like you just wanted to be let off the roller coaster of life?  We kind of feel that way right now.  It seems like things will "settle" then we turn around and encounter another problem.  My Daddy dying was the biggest problem of the last year (biggest problem of my life), but then it seems like we've had one thing after another.  These other things aren't really a big deal by themselves, but when they are all smooshed up against the other stresses and other problems, then suddenly you feel like you can't take much more.  It's like we are in a huge snowball that just keeps mounting up on itself. 

My life is good.  We are happy and my family can always bring a big smile to my face.  I don't think there are many days that go by where I haven't laughed hysterically about something (most of the time multiple times a day), because having 4 kids is the most wonderful gift I've ever been given!  I always feel like I have to remind anybody reading that I'm not in a state of depression:-)  I'm not.

I've cried this week, but not because I'm depressed. It is because I'm worried.  I worry about an impending surgery for Jamie.  While getting tonsils removed isn't a "life or death" situation, it really is a bit of a bigger deal in adults.  I know he will be OK (even better) after he heals, but who wants surgery?  We have bathed this issue in prayer and I've not lost hope yet, but after being almost halfway through the 3 week antibiotic, and him feeling worse, my feelings of hope are  being replaced with plans of what we are to do next.  He goes the last day of the month to the ENT, where I feel like surgery will be scheduled.


Considering we already owe a nice chunk of change to MCCH (who are the most unreasonable hospital to work out payment plans in my experience), then I remain stressed as I look at the upcoming months for our family.  I'm really not sure how it will work out, honestly.  God knows, but I don't.  The fact is, that all of this (to us) is a BIG deal. It isn't this ONE thing that makes this a huge deal, but a culmination of things that has gotten us to the point of STRESSED!  I've mentioned that I'm praying for healing to a few people and I've often been met with smiles, chuckles, and people kind of blowing off our concerns.  I'm not joking. I see my husband in pain when others don't, and I know our financial battles that lie ahead (they seem impossible to me right now).  No, I'm not joking. I'm very serious.   THIS is the reasons that Jamie and I are very private about our personal lives.  It is NOT funny or something we are smiling about.  It is something that I have cried about and poured my heart out to God about, but laughter is not even on my radar even for a second. 

We have asked people to pray (first and foremost) for healing.  It is not impossible yet!

Whew....It's been a while!

I'm not sure why blogging has just not been a big thought to me lately.  I've missed April b-days, Mission trip to Texas, our Anniversary and countless other cute kid posts, but here I am a few months behind!  There is simply no way to catch up.  Maybe I will do a picture post of all the missing puzzle pieces or something.   Life goes on and I'll try to do better.

Monday, we began school for 2012-2013!  Insane to most?  Perhaps, but so far no complaints and we are having frequent breaks throughout the year.  July is so hot and I'd rather be accomplishing something productive.  We are taking our vacation in the fall when all the other people are back to the old grind!

Heritage Christian Homeschool:

 7th Grade

  

5th Grade

 4th Grade

 

1st Grade

My kids are getting so big and while I don't like that a bit, they are at fun ages at the same time!  I'll never regret having them so close together, because the chatter, games, playing, and fun (and yes sometimes a little bickering) that happens in our home is priceless. 

So, here we go for another fun filled year!  I've contemplated doing another blog of homeschooling ideas (not so much personal as informational).  Maybe I need to see how well I keep up with this one first.  HA!