Spinning Plates

We are in the midst of October. I'm peering over onto 2 birthdays, Halloween, a Gender Reveal party, Thanksgiving, then Christmas!  How quickly time passes and how short our attention spans as humans.  We live in a very fast paced whirlwind at times.  We are tired, busier than ever, yet we are continually taking another plate to spin.  Do you remember the old circus trick of spinning plates?  The entertainer would begin with 1, then 2, then finally progress to 10 or more.  When he had just 1 or 2 or 3, he could keep them spinning easily, but the more that was added, he was frantically running back and forth trying to keep them spinning.  Eventually, they would start to slow down, wobble, and sometimes even fall to the ground in a crash. 

Sometimes I feel like I have some spinning plates, priorities have to be set, then you start the running back and forth between the plates.  Usually the one of least importance or the one that you are able to "let go" for a bit will wobble or crash (even temporarily) while we run back and forth. 

I think we all know that we often get too much on our plates.  Those things aren't always bad, but having too much can be bad, because what are you letting "go" in order to spin that plate?  There is only so much time, energy, and efforts in a given day.   I decided a long time ago, that I refused to be a plate spinner on a regular basis.  Sometimes I feel that way, but sometimes we've had to say "no" to good things in order for us to keep the plates spinning that are most important, the plates that would be devastating to let fall to the ground. 

May I always be the wife or Mom that will let a plate fall of less importance if need be!  May I always be the type of wife or mother to capture memories, have traditions, listen intently, that will laugh, that will cry, and that will be there in all times and in all situations.  I have that type of mother!  I appreciate her more than words can write.  I have that type of husband!  I appreciate and love him more every day!  He works hard for our family and sometimes has way too many plates spinning, so that I can have a few less and I love him for that.  He is a good man!  He is the man that God intended him to be.  My kids are precious and a gift!  They warm my heart and are things that I never dreamed of being.

2 Years Later...

On Friday September 9th, 2011, I went to bed with my alarm set on my phone for soccer the next morning (the first of the season).  I was the "snack mom" for Chloe's early game and had everything laid out to make everything run smoother that morning.  At 3:20 am my phone was ringing, but I had no comprehension of the time (I later looked).  I just knew it was dark and that something must be terribly wrong when I looked at my phone and clearly on the little screen was printed, "My Parents" with their home number.  I answered the phone with an abrupt, "Hello!  What's wrong?" and didn't know who's voice would meet me on the other side.  It was my mother and she was telling me something, but her words sounded jumbled, but maybe it was my brain that was jumbled at the time.  I quickly said, "I can't understand you, is Daddy sick?" thinking I might need to make a trip to the Murray ER or to their home.  She said, "No, Daddy's dead".  I heard those words clear and distinct and I responded with a shocked, "WHAT!?!?" and told her I was on my way.  Suddenly the 25 miles between us seemed like a million as I sprung out of bed and turned the lights on.  Jamie was already up and asked, "He's dead isn't he?" and how he knew this I had no idea, because at the time I had no words and couldn't hardly bare to utter the phrase, "Daddy's dead" and still really can't that well.  

The moments that followed are burned in my brain forevermore.  The sights, the sounds, the people, the reactions, my Daddy sitting in his favorite chair at the table, slumped, face discolored, arms folded in front of him, feet up on his toes, the silly bag of Lifesavers the kids gave him for Father's day in front of him (he kept refilling the bag), his overalls on, and people seemingly everywhere.  

No one knows what happened.  My mother went to bed around 9 with him in that very spot.  He often stayed up late and had asked her to stay up a while longer, but she was exhausted from a day at work.  He stayed up, I'm sure fiddling with the things that laid in front of him at that dining table, which was typical of him.  She got up around 2:30 and thought he had dozed off, went closer, and realized he was gone, still warm, sweat beads on his brow. He had made tomato juice just hours earlier, spent some time outside, in his garden, went to see his Dad, and somehow it was his last day on earth.

The hours and days that followed were full of food, people, choosing caskets and flowers, feeling tired and unable to sleep, feeling hungry but unable to eat, and he was buried on Tuesday the 13th beside his Grandfather and even at that point, it was unreal. I remember the tears flowing freely at the graveside and I lost it as they carried his casket to the hole in the ground. I felt like my knees were buckling under me and I couldn't hardly catch my breath.  This was it!  The end of the road for him on earth. 

Holidays seems harder as I have one less person in my life to cross of a list.  Father's day is a bit empty and hollow now.  I find that people that are 30 somethings like myself rarely understand losing a parent so their reaction towards it is to tell me about when their grandparents died, which is world's apart from losing a parent.  So, leaning on my side of the family has been essential and Jamie has been nothing, but wonderful in letting me grieve however I needed at the time.

I will never forget this day, the good times of my Dad, the sweetness of him being my kids' G-Daddy and how he would make them giggle.  I will never forget that.  He is in heaven based upon God's promise and I will see him again one day.  Time doesn't actually heal all wounds.  Grief changes, but is always a bit present.  I can handle it now better, because the shock of it all is past and all the "firsts" have been encountered, but that Daddy sized hole is always in my heart. 

Updates and Happenings!

I'm terrible about updating this thing:-)  I'm trying to do better, but times creeps up on me! 

Chloe was saved on Mother's day and baptized on July 7th.  I was caught by surprise a bit, but was gently nudged by God that "age" or "maturity" simply has nothing to do with it.  She had just turned 7, but being the "baby" of the family is often thought of to be younger in some ways, I guess.  We have been tremendously blessed in 2013!  We are at a new church and have 2 new Christian girls!  What could be better than seeing your kids born into Christ's kingdom? 

This summer has come and gone.  We took a Hughes family trip to Tybee Island for a week in June, Jamie and I celebrated 19 years of marriage while we were there (sort of...I don't think we ever officially celebrated), the kids have gone to 3 VBS's, they made new friends, and played a lot outdoors as usual during this mild and less humid summer break!  Good ol' summertime fun!

Again, we started our school year in July.  We began our 5th week today and I have an 8th grader, 6th, 5th, and 2nd.  It is going well after several technical (frustrating) difficulties. I think we are getting our groove now.  Our history is derived from the American Girl Novels, so you can imagine the girls' interest and soaking it up like a sponge. So what if the Revolutionary Period is better known as "Felicity's time period" if they remember it? 

Jamie completed his first 5K, which was his gift for Father's day and we made it an overnight trip.  I hung out at the hotel while he ran in the dark in Nashville.  He enjoyed it and was all pumped ready to do another. 

We joined the YMCA after vacation to keep up with the kids' excellent swimming!  Naturally Jamie gravitated to the treadmills.  After a 2nd teenager in our church was admitted to St. Jude's, we signed up for the St. Jude Family Fun Run in Memphis in December.  Our little mission project for the year.  Our hotel is booked, our running shoes are bought, and we are practicing for our (whopping) 1 mile walk/run.  I was so afraid I would be the dead weight that I have been working out 5 days a week, cut out sweet tea (gasp!), donned some new running shoes and am hitting the parks early in the morning and the treadmills when weather doesn't permit.  My stamina is increasing, I feel more energetic, patient, and am making better food choices.  Jamie is still holding out that I will want to do a 5K.  At the rate i'm going, perhaps that may happen in a couple of YEARS!  I'm slow, but can see steady progress for ME (unimpressive by most).  Time will tell, but it has been something new, for sure.  My goal is just not to be the slowpoke at the Fun Run! 

2013 is chalking up to be one of our best years yet!

Summertime!

We have been out of homeschool routine since the end of April for a much needed break.  The first couple of weeks were rainy, cool (we needed jackets), etc and I had thought my brilliant plan to take off May and June for our break to avoid the heat of July was probably not wise.  However, the summer is shaping up and has so far been mild in comparison to past years and I'll take it.  Days where the kids play out all day long, track in dirt on my kitchen floor, at the end of the day our yard looks like a toy disaster and their feet are covered in dirt.  Yep, those are the best days!  We have another month of those days!  I haven't quit pinned a start date yet, but will begin my studying and planning after our beach vacation next week.

Since my last post, Abbi was baptized, and Chloe asked Jesus to be her savior on Mother's day!  3 of my children are secured in heaven and that makes my heart almost burst.  Hannah isn't quite there yet, but she is thoughtful and meticulous, and I have confidence that one day she will make that decision too.  All in God's timing and I will not barge ahead of that!

We have been involved with our new church (old church?  new again church?...not sure what to call it) since April full time (Sunday mornings in March).  My girls are in AWANA there on Wednesday nights and I was shocked beyond measure when they all won awards last week at the conclusion of the AWANA year.  I mean, they only had a few weeks to accomplish what some kids had been doing since August.  I confess that some of the verses were already some they knew (we memorize scripture here), but still! Hannah got a trophy, Chloe a 2nd place ribbon, and Abbi a silver pin.  I was very pleasantly shocked!  AWANA is a great program for kids!

Micah is starting to really get plugged in with the youth.  There hasn't been a ton to get involved with just yet, but he is making friends, giggling about conversations he has had with the teens, etc.  That is a start and I'm so thankful!  It is tough being a teen.  It is tougher being a teen with no friend connections in your favorite place!  He never complains, but as a mother, I sit and worry how I'm screwing my kids up all the time.  I think we all do!   I think we are stepping in the right direction.  I know we are as God wouldn't lead us astray! 

We will be on Tybee Island soaking some rays next weekend, which is hard for me to imagine right now as I feel like my "to do" list is too long.  I never really look forward to vacations though (well, the vacation part I do).  Call me a stick in the mud or party pooper, but I loathe the car drive and dread it so badly, that it seems like Mount Everest stands in the way of me and the vacation spot.  It isn't that I don't enjoy vacations or going places. I do!  It is just very hard for me to get "excited" when Mount Everest stands in the way of me and my fun.  I'm always perfectly content once I get there. It is the "getting there" part that is just so...ugh!!!  So, Tybee Island here we come again to meet you, and I will be so happy to see you once we get there.  Until then, I will check things off my "to do" list and get my gear ready for Mount Everest!