I know I haven't updated as regularly. It is hard to catch a break and when I do (after the kids go to bed), I am lounging on the couch, watching some junk TV, and snuggling with my fur-baby. Many days I feel "behind" but I'm beginning to wonder "behind of what?" I think we all put too much pressure on ourselves.
We are almost halfway through the school year and my kids never cease to impress me. They are learning, I am learning (yes you have to relearn all this stuff sometimes), and we are cruising right along. Chloe is reading around a 6.75 year old reading level (give or take), Abbi is learning long division (oh the dread, but she is doing well), Micah is acing math, and Hannah is writing more descriptive than ever. I am so glad I can have this experience first hand. God has blessed us all through homeschooling. It was scary at first, but what isn't when you are being obedient to God?
Jamie is going to be preaching at the MCU church come January. To say that I'm a little nervous would be an understatement. I was apprehensive at first. The kids are settled and happy. Jamie and I are learning and content and then here we go again. Jamie really felt like God was leading to him this, so I told him that I respected that and let's give it a try. So, again, obedience is often scary, but I know it is worth it.
I am still on the roller coaster from losing my Daddy. I'm still just so confused by it some days. I just wish I could scream to God, "WHY!?!" at the top of my lungs and have an answer. I will dream about him then jolt awake of the realization that I'll never talk to him again on earth. I wish he could have seen my kids grow up (a little more at least). I wish he could have taken them fishing this fall like he was planning to. I wish a lot of things and now it is Christmas time....I have 1 less person to shop for and that feels....wrong. I still cry sometimes and I often feel like nobody understands how my heart feels with this missing piece. I don't understand any of this.
Gigi (named after G-Daddy, of course) has brought much life and fun to our house. She is just so sweet and playful. She plays hard, then sleeps hard and is doing so well. She is house training really well, crating at night without whining (finally), and is probably way too rotten to even mention already. We haven't had a dog in 16 years so to say that we are smitten is an understatement. I feel like I have a toddler around the house again with the constant "puppy sitting" but with 4 extra sets of eyes to help watch, it is working well. No disasters to speak of yet:-) A little piece of my Daddy sort of and our entire family has gone a little nuts over these dogs. God knew what we needed when we needed it and these Dogs have made us smile even on some very sad days.
My Mother is doing well considering. I always gets asked this. It is hard to say she is doing "well" because her heart is broken, but we keep her busy and she is doing as well as she can. We joke that we kind of just drag her everywhere we go, but she seems to enjoy herself and is trying to make some new memories. Thanksgiving was hard for everybody in many ways, but we all made it. Tears were flowing, but some of them weren't all bad. Mama is a strong lady and has us kids and grandkids to get her through, which is not the same, but hopefully a close second. She is trying to figure out a new normal. Losing a spouse rocks your entire world and you lose the love of your life.
Christmas is around the corner. We will be on break after next week and ending with a school party. Jamie's MCU party is tonight. I got a new outfit and hoping that I don't freeze too much. Why is it that all semi-formal dress outfits are FREEZING and then the guys get to wear suits? I guess I may be stealing Jamie's suit coat before the night is over. WE are also headed to MCU tomorrow to see Santa and get our annual picture.
Sorry this is long...I feel kind of behind in my blogs and thoughts. Life needs to slow down, but come January/February maybe things will seem a little more settled
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