Abbi is 9!!

The week I had Abbi I just felt "off." I don't know another way to describe it. I had funny backaches that would come and go, false labor (typical for me), and just didn't feel like myself. I chalked it up to being 34-35 weeks pregnant and didn't think that much of it.

I went in for a doctor's appointment on that Friday and Jamie had joined me, which was not typical at that time (his work schedule was crazy and I had a toddler). I told the doctor of the things that had been going on and he checked things out. He even said, "don't worry, I'm sure there is nothing going on yet." I can still remember looking up at him and all of a sudden his face fell and he said, "or maybe not...you are 4cm dilated." If I had been a couple of weeks further, this would be good news, but since I was only 35 weeks, then it wasn't such great news and I remember just being afraid. He followed the statement with, "you need to be admitted to the hospital right away."

All I could think of was how it was too soon. I felt very unprepared and didn't know what to expect. I also had a birthday party planned for Micah the next day to celebrate him turning 2 years old that week, which was quickly cancelled.

The doctor had explained that at this stage, they didn't really want women having the baby, but they wouldn't stop it either. They also wouldn't do anything to progress things along unless we were at the point of no return. Ideally, I would be put on strict bed rest for a week to let her lungs develop a bit more.

He came back in that evening, and I was already dilated another centimeter without really having any pain that is was out of the ordinary. Even the nurses the stumped. Nothing was picking up on the monitor to speak of....just those weird back pains that I had been having, which I guess was back labor, but it should have still been coming around the front? My body is nuts (I learned that the first time though).

So, instead of going home, I was stuck in the hospital for the night in hopes to keep her in. In the middle of the night I knew labor had truly kicked in. The contractions were bearable, but regular and picking up on the monitor and we got zero sleep that night. At that point I was being fed antibiotics (3 rounds of it) since things were happening early.

Sure enough, I was about 6.5 cm in the morning and about 9am they broke my water, because I was at the point of no return. I was having a baby whether the we were ready or not.

She was born right after noon and it was an easy delivery. She was 5# 8oz and the nurses lifted her up after her birth for me to kiss her on the head, but she was quickly whisked away. There was no moment of holding her. Jamie followed her out and came back to report that she was OK, but things were a bit bumpy at the moment and that they might like that for a while.

As soon as they'd let me I got up and went down to see my baby. She was beautiful and so tiny! She had tubes and wires hooked up and was under the hood for oxygen. They had a nurse that watched her 24/7. She was not breathing properly, and that was scary. She had a seizure that same night and I remember standing there just crying and feeling so helpless and wondering if she would be OK. My baby girl was born sick. As a mother you get all kinds of "guilt" anyways, but I had the preemie guilt and feeling like I (my body) had failed her in some way.

We waited around all week and she finally turned a corner and around 4 days old we could at least hold her for short periods of time. It was bliss! I had waited 8 months to hold her and while I may not have gotten my "moment" at birth, I was finally getting to hold her. The problem was that she was also very happy to be next to me too, because she would fall asleep when I held her almost instantaneously and her breathing would get "lazy" too. I think we spent the entire day taking turns holding her and then putting her back in for her dose of oxygen. She was finally coming along. She was able to come home at a week old, which I still consider a miracle.

Abbi made me a mommy of 2. She was my first little girl. She made Micah a big brother, and even at 2 years old, he was so fascinated with her. She is a very special young lady with loads of talent. I'm so blessed to have her in my life and I know that God is going to do special things through her.

Today we had a "low-key" homeschool day and we have had a lot of fun! We made these crafts. Aren't they cute?