Monday, June 7, 2010

Upside Down

That is the way we are feeling right about now. I'm very thankful for the blessings that have been given to us the past 2 months, don't get me wrong. We have family that loves us, people that are praying for us, Jamie's new job, and a roof over our heads. But, when we lay down at night we are still in this crazy limbo stage with no end in sight. I'm a person that craves organization, consistency, and normalcy. Right now we have none of the above. Our lives are completely upside down.

I'm still dealing with anger and frustration and questions and tears about how all this happened. I really won't ever understand it all, but time will have a way of healing these wounds. God is going to use this experience to refine us and bring us full circle. Who knows how we can use this life experience to help witness to someone in the future. Time will only tell. As for now, I try to live day to day. It is just really hard to "get over" it too when we are sitting here waiting for answers while everybody else goes on with their lives.

God has something up his sleeve. That I'm sure of. I'm impatient when I'm waiting, especially when life seems to be spinning out of control. I had somebody tell me that God is testing us. Testing us for what? I'm positive that I'm failing miserably, because on the inside I've been in a kicking/screaming tantrum for 2 months. I'm not angry with God. Not in the least, because he didn't author the things we've been through. He is taking care of us and will take care of us and he will take care of the rest as he sees fit. It doesn't always make it easy to get through the process though.

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