Thursday, September 29, 2011

Muddling Through

I told someone last night at church that I was "muddling through" life right now. That is kind how I feel. I don't know how else to explain it. I may look normal on the outside, but my insides are a huge confused mess. I wonder if I'll ever quite feel the same, actually. I've heard "time heals" but I've also heard that you never really get 'over it' you just learn to get 'through it'. I'm not sure which one of those choices I like better right now, honestly. Nothing sounds too good right now unless we can push rewind, and we can't. We are encountering "firsts"and "reminders" already with the slew of fall birthdays we have in our family.

I actually went a day this week without crying. Baby steps is still progress I guess! My hairdresser talked to me and as weird as that sounds it was therapy to me. She lost her dad without warning 5 years ago and she "gets it". Like REALLY gets it! I could really express my feelings and frustrations and she nodded along realizing where she was 5 years ago in her nightmare. I left there feeling a bit refreshed and didn't even care about my hair in the least (oddly enough since that is what I went for). For now, I'll take 1 good day and it is all relative at this point. Good compared to what? Not good compared to September 9th when I went to sleep, but pretty decent compared to September 10th at 3:20 am. I guess I'll take it.

Everybody has moved on (rightfully so, it doesn't effect them), but my family and I are still reeling from all this. How confused we all are that Daddy was completely fine and actually having a good few weeks and then snatched away from this world in his sleep. He went so peacefully too. I know that should make us feel thankful and maybe it would if he were OLD. I'm not very thankful about any of it right now.

I have successfully told my church "no" to 2 responsibilities presented to me the past few days. The pastor said I should take it as a compliment, but I don't really care right now. I don't ever say "no" much. I really just want to scream, "Don't you get it! My world is changed! I have to figure how to be normal again before I can put anything else on my plate! Don't you see that I'm busy with a husband that is gone at night and taking care of my 4 kids? I was actually pretty dang busy before all this, Don't you GET IT! My Daddy is gone forever!" The reality? No, they don't get it. They aren't meant to. It is not their pain to have. Most people asking things of me have 2 parents that they can talk to this very second if they chose to. I don't anymore! It makes me jealous at times. It shouldn't, but it does.

I've found that I can be around people and still feel lonely though. Isn't that strange? I go to church and feel misunderstood, unknown, and that nobody really cares what is going on (just what I can do for them). A place that should bring me comfort, I have to force msyelf to go to, and it is just not comforting to me. I go through bouts of being sad, angry, lonely, and even times where I have to remind myself that I'm not in a nightmare that I can wake up from. Everybody else in the world seems happy to me. I know they aren't. I know they may be acting just like me or they have conflicting emotions (like me), but it just feels and seems that way. I've found people, in general, pretty selfish and I suppose I am too. We are all sinful and selfish by nature.

I look at my husband and see a man that I love even more than I did just 19 days ago, which I would have argued was impossible. He is a good Godly man! I look at my kids and they are precious and so sweet. They are the reason I get up in the morning right now and muddle through the day (and smile!). I look at my sweet Mama and see a woman that is grieving her husband. A loss that I can't even wrap my mind around at the moment. God bless her! My sister and I can relate to each others pain as it is the same loss. My children and my nieces lost their G-Daddy (all too young to be dealing with this) and it saddens my heart for them and what they will miss out on. I'm leaning on God and my family right now.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Reduced to Memories and Pictures


My sister sent me this newspaper picture from 2006. It makes me smile. My Daddy helped build the huge brick signs at Murray State. We had so many people last week tell us how great my Daddy was at laying brick and how hard of a worker he was. This, we already knew. He was great at his craft. I know that he would fuss sometimes about laying blocks, because it was so hard of a job. He would also complain a bit if he had to lay those irregular stones/bricks, which were beautiful, but kind of a pain to do. He didn't like doing the smooshed mortar, because he felt like it wasn't "finished" although he did whatever was asked of him. He went to bed around 8:00 when he was working, because he was out the door by 6:00am. I remember hearing him take a shower in the mornings before I was even thinking of getting up. I appreciate that more now than I did then, I think. Teenagers don't realize how parents get tired too.

My Daddy was told in April/May 2008 that if he didn't have a major back surgery, he would be in a wheelchair or worse. He had surgery the week we moved to Owensboro where they fused 5 disks together and while he did well, he never felt good again,, and was unable to work. He was in chronic pain, although somewhat managed. All these back problems were caused by him providing for his family all those years. I took for granted all of this while I was growing up. I suppose all kids do. Daddy was feeling so much better the last couple of weeks of his life due to a new pain management plan and doctor. Again, the long term results were cut short, but I am thankful that he was feeling good for a short while.

I cooked a batch of okra today for lunch and had a sliced cucumber on the side. This was picked by my Daddy before he passed. I don't know if it was the last day he was alive or sometime that week, but I teared up while cooking that food. It is the last food I'll ever eat that my Daddy planted, hoed, and picked. Jamie said his garden should have been featured in a magazine with its perfect straight rows, the dirt all turned over beautifully, and lack of weeds. He was the gardener expert and I was going to pick his brain next year, because Jamie and I are thinking of doing a small garden. I can always read a book, ask someone else, or figure it out on my own, but it won't be the same. He would have enjoyed teaching me how to do this. I grew up with a garden, picked veggies, and shelled peas, but I always just took for granted the work that went into it before we were sitting down to dinner. My Daddy made tomato juice the day before he died. He was having a good day and week. That makes me happy and confused about all this at the same time, I think.

We are now reduced to memories and pictures of the past. I can still hear my Daddy's voice in my head and his laugh. I wonder how long it'll be before it fades. Will it fade? I don't want it to. Will my kids remember? I don't know and that bothers me. Will I always be waiting for him to walk in the back door of the house when I visit? It is so strange to see your Daddy who provided for you, played games with you, gave you advice as an adult stricken by death too soon. He died so peacefully that I know eternity caught him by surprise as much as it did us. What was he doing those last few hours/minutes? Will I ever get the images of his lifeless body sitting in his favorite chair and the morticians carrying him off 3 hours later out of my head? When I turn 66, will I be afraid to sleep? Will I ever get over the fact that some people I love didn't reach out to us during the the most painful shocking moments of our lives? Did these people that dismissed the first 2 days of his death, realize how much a phone call or acknowledgement would mean? I don't know the answer to any of these questions. The biggest question of all is "Why?" God only knows.

Every relationship has ups and downs in life and ours was no different. I realized on 9-10-11 at 3:20 in the morning that nothing else mattered in the world though. I have had thoughts of some of the funniest, special, and unique memories that made my earthly Father my "Daddy" It is funny how God brings these things to the surface and anything negative is buried and gone. God is so very good!

I've also seen how strong my mother is. My Grandmother lost her husband in much the same manner, so I know that Mama had a wonderful example of how to "live" after your soul mate is gone. My Mother, while going through this horrific loss, has been a comfort to her family too, because she "gets it" having been in these shoes. My mother came to a soccer game last Saturday, went to work on Tuesday (she only works 2 days, but this was a major step), and while she worries about the unknown she reminds us all "I'm going to be all right...I'm strong". This I know! While the almost 500 people that loved us last week, go on with their lives, we are suddenly left alone and in the dark about where to go with our grief. Our hearts are still aching even if we smile on the outside. I can enjoy my children and laugh in life with a missing piece of my heart that is 6 feet under in Story's Chapel Cemetery. How is it possible to laugh and be sad at the same time and when will this begin to sink in and feel normal again. I almost have to chant to myself, "your Daddy is dead" or I hardly even believe it myself.

My life with Daddy has been reduced to memories and pictures, but that's not all! I look at my Mama, sister, nieces, and children and know that his memory will go on and we will make it. Holidays will be hard, especially the first year, but we will trudge ahead and make "life" and more memories. One thing is for sure, I'm not sweating the small stuff at the moment and I am not taking our remaining parents, grandparents, and family for granted!

Monday, September 19, 2011

Soccer Girls




Saturday the girls played games. It was the 1st game for the big girls and the first time they played together on the field. I really enjoyed watching them out there together. They are both turning out to be very good players! Chloe was the superstar of the team, scoring 8 points by herself (no goalie in this league). She is just so fast. She is shortest, but the quickest, so don't let the Hughes girls' sizes fool you! I was so surprised to see how Chloe honestly "gets" how to play. Some of the others don't, so I guess that goes with being the little sister of 2 other soccer stars:-)

Abbi and Hannah's team lost...big time! Abbi has never lost a game and this is her 4th season of playing. It is a young team and some inexperience is out there. My girls knew their stuff, but a few others kind of didn't (oops!). The funny thing is by the time soccer season is over, they'll be getting better.

This is our first weekend/week back to "normal". I honestly don't even know if I'll ever feel normal again though. I can smile and laugh at my children and enjoy them, but there is an ache in my heart at the same time. I miss my Daddy more than I ever realized I would. I wish I could tell him that. There are many moments where I'm happy and sad together and these emotions don't make sense to me. I know we'll get there. I am sometimes sad, mad, numb, etc. I'm so confused on what to say or do sometimes. My poor Mama lost her husband and that saddens my heart.

Chloe asked me if she could name her special doggie she sleeps with "G-daddy". I told her that sounded nice and she said, "I didn't want you to be sad when you heard that name". My kids are worried about me and that is so sweet. They've seen a lot this week emotionally, but they are tough cookies on when they grow up, they'll understand more.

I went to church and got some really caring hugs and words. I also saw this past week how wonderful my husband is. Last year was a hard time for us, but was a cake walk compared to this valley I'm in. He sees me hurting and tries desperately to hold me, help me, and make things easier right now. He has held me as I sobbed and he has listened to me and helped me vent. He also has done piles of laundry and things around the house when I just didn't give a care this week. He was right there by my family's side and doing whatever needed to be done that we just didn't have time or energy for (making errands, going to town, burning trash, etc). I knew that after 23 years of knowing Jamie and 17 years of marriage that he was a good man, but this week has really shown me how much he truly loves me AND my family. It is amazing to have him by my side in life and I know this is hard on him too. He spoke at my Daddy's graveside service beautifully even if the words were hard to come at first. I appreciate my man in a whole new way.

God will help us muddle through this one way or another.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Our Best Seller!

My sister and I decided we are going to write a book on what NOT to say or do when someone dies. It is INSANE the things that people think is comforting. I was standing by her in the receiving line and we'd say, "add that to our book." Why don't they teach this stuff in schools? Maybe they should, because at some point we all have to face this. I mean sometimes just a simple, "I'm sorry, praying for you" is much appreciated followed by a hug.

Don't say (these are all taken from actual and true events from the past week):
  • "When my (Grandpa, Uncle, cousin etc) died...." Yea, right now it is me that is going through this crap, so don't compare your stories. This is not helpful! This is my Daddy laying here, not a Grandpa or Uncle and that is completely and totally different anyways.
  • "Death is a part of life" Yes, it is, but it has never been a part of my life like this, so this reminder doesn't help me.
  • "Be so glad that he didn't suffer, this is the best way to go" Really? At 66!??!??! For my Daddy? Absolutely!!! For us? Not so much! Have you ever lost someone with no warning? There is NO 'best way' to go through this. Sorry folks, my Dad was fine one second, then gone the next and none of us got to tell him 'good-bye'. I don't want to watch anybody suffer (been there done that with Grandparents), but getting bulldozed by it isn't really all that better either. It all SUX!
  • "You may feel guilty for a while for not getting to say anything to him, but that will get better in time" Ummmm....ok? That makes me feel very comforted since this is the part I am currently struggling with!!!
  • "This is God's plan". Yes, I'm a Christian and fully believe that, but it is also Ok for me to shake my head and be angry with the way things happened. I don't think I'll ever be "ok" for my Daddy dying at 66 even if it is God's plan. I agree that it is, but it doesn't make it feel better right now.
  • "He looks different than the last time I saw him" while passing by my Daddy's body laying there. followed by, "But I haven't seen him in 20 years". Ok, do YOU look like you did 20 years ago? Probably not, so this is a crazy comment.
  • "Are you pregnant?" and I responded "No" and then the old lady pointed to my abdomen and said, "You might want to check and make sure". I think I just stared at her stunned! Seriously! I've had 4 kids, my body is not the size of a super model, but neither was hers! If this had been at Wal-mart, I probably would have cried, but in light of recent events in my life, I got a good laugh out of it. I suddenly did become paranoid that I chose the wrong outfit though.
  • "It's OK" Nope, it really isn't OK! Not at all!
  • "I know how you feel" No you really don't! Even if you have lost your Daddy, you still don't know how I feel, so just don't say that!
  • "Was he sick?" I had to explain HOW my Daddy died over and over the other night. People are curious and mean well, but it was hard having to go through that a million times too. My answer, "My Daddy had some health problems that were under control and he could have lived with for a long time....he was not terminal in any way"

Don't:
  • Take pictures. Yea, we had some friend taking pictures at the graveyard and we didn't want that. If in doubt, always run things by the family first, because they are what matters right now!
  • Not be around in the beginning. It is funny how we have all remembered people that "should have" been there for us, but weren't. It is hurtful and something I can't even really explain. It is amazing how a simple phone call, visit, etc. can help you to realize who really loves you in times of crisis.
  • Compare
  • Put items on the Grave sight (or heaven forbid anywhere else) unless you ask the FAMILY...period! We found an item placed on the grave after we got back from lunch the day of the burial. It was not welcome in the least and was very upsetting to us all. Just don't!
  • Underestimate what it is like to bury your parent if you have never been in these shoes. I've lost a Grandmother that I was extremely close to, yet nothing compares to the pain I am feeling at this moment. It is unreal! You know you'll have to face this some day, but you always think that they'll be 85 or something.

Do:
  • Call
  • Go to the family. I always thought I'd be a bother and in the way and Saturday was crazy with visits and phone calls, but afterwards I realize how much love there was towards my family.
  • Go to the funeral visitation and if you can't send (at minimum) a sympathy card.
  • Give hugs. I'm generally not a huggy person outside of my family, but those hugs were much appreciated
  • Offer childcare. I had this offer and didn't really take them up on it, but it was just nice to know there was more options.
  • Tell them that you are praying, but you also have to follow through on that promise! FAmilies need it long after the person is in the ground.
  • Tell them that you are sorry and mean it!
  • Tell them a funny or memorable story with the person that has died (I did like hearing good stories). It made me realize that my Daddy's memory will live on outside of my family and it makes me smile.
  • Give the Grandkids something special just for them. My kids got a little necklace from our preacher/wife and they have not taken them off all week. Chloe also got a stuffed animal from her best friend in Owensboro.
So here is brainstorming for my best selling book. I promise to give everybody an autographed copy;-)

The past couple of days have been better around here. I usually can save my tears for after the kids go to bed at least (poor Jamie). I still have an ache in my heart that I can't explain. It was very strange for me to go to soccer practice last night and act like things were just peachy in my life when I feel like things are crumbling around me. God is good though and we Waldrop women are a strong bunch of ladies!

Pray for us as we learn to live without my Daddy.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Harder Than I Realized

Losing a parent is harder than I ever really realized, so God please forgive me for not understanding before Saturday at 3:20 am. There is a vacant hole in my heart that just hurts. It hurts so bad that I can't even really explain to anybody that hasn't experienced this. It was so sudden and unexpected that it has all been a freight train of mourning in hyper speed. I really feel for people that lose people in accidents, because in a similar fashion we weren't expecting this news at all. I don't know which end is up. I haven't even had to process it all and he is in the ground. We all know in our heads that we have to be on this end of things at some point in life, but I am selfish and wanted him to live to be OLD, see his grandkids grow up and make more memories.

Seeing the hearse drive by my parents house and pause made it all too real. I did pretty well at the funeral home and even seeing him laying there one last time. I cried, but I was alright. But I was not alright the second that hearse drove by my parent's house. My Daddy lived there his entire life and was always running up and down the road. I knew it was the last time he'd be down that road and by his earthly home. So, I became a screeching hyperventilating basketcase. I felt like the world was swirling around me in fast forward and slow motion at the same time. I wanted to stomp and scream and cry and make myself feel better yet I couldn't stop what was happening and I still didn't feel better. I stepped out of the car and I couldn't hold it back. Denisha came and grabbed me as I sobbed, then Davida. I knew I needed to walk yet I couldn't feel like I could stand up straight. I turned around and got in my husband's arms while my knees buckled and I screamed into his chest. I didn't care who was there staring at me or anything else at the moment. Time had stopped. I finally pulled it together and held hands with my sister to the hole in the ground where my Daddy's body will lay.

My Daddy is gone! My DADDY! I'm so mad about that!!!! My mother just retired this year and he was feeling so much better lately with his back. They had plans to do a few fun things and had even discussed her quitting to retire full time (she still works 2 days a week). He never got to take my kids fishing and he was going to this fall and I can't call and ask him how to plant my garden next year.

My Mama lost her husband of 43 years and seeing her go through this valley, is so hard. You just have such big plans in life and sometimes life is cut too short by our earthly standards. We don't understand this. God bless people that go through deaths of spouses or children. Right now I just can't comprehend. The last 5 days have been the hardest I have ever experienced.

I have also held my children as they cried and I told them that it is OK to be sad. It breaks my heart even more to see my kids crying, mourning, and not understanding. They've never been faced with death in a real way before and I had prepared them for great grandparents passing, but I never mentioned grandparents. NEVER! I didn't realize this would be reversed in our lives. I didn't think I'd have to tell them that their G-Daddy is in heaven, which is good, but he can't be here to play with them anymore, feed them lifesaver, or tell silly stories. I fear that Chloe won't even remember him, Hannah barely, and it breaks my heart, because I want them to hold onto it. They have seen alot of crying, laughter, tears, and questioning this weekend and they are strong good kids. I know that. I wanted him to see them grow up. Micah's middle name is David and that is more special than ever now.

In the midst of all this, we know that Daddy is with Jesus and his back no longer aches and he can see his sister, Mother, and grandparents again. We know the people that truly care about us, because they reached out to us even before the funeral visitation. Those phone calls, visits, food, and kind words meant so much Saturday and Sunday.

We think around 450-500 people (over an hour's wait) was at the visitation, and about 50 at the graveside. My Daddy was a loved man!

On Sunday afternoon my mother called us out to see a rainbow. It was the most beautiful rainbow I have ever seen and for the first time all weekend, I saw some peace in my Mother's face and some joy looking up at that rainbow. It was beautiful to our eyes, but also warming to our souls as we were reminded of God's promises. God be with us during this difficult time.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

9-10-11 is a Date I'll Never Forget

I got a phone call at 3:15 this morning that has changed my life. When my phone rang, I knew immediately there was a problem when I saw my parent's number on the caller ID. I thought that maybe one of my parents was ill and needed help, my Papaw had died, or something worse. My mother was crying on the other end and told me that my Daddy had died. It was sudden. It was unexpected. It was all just too much for a moment. He went peacefully and without pain. I don't think we are ever prepared for these phone calls in life that change everything.

The entire day has been a whirlwind of watching coroners, morticians, family, friends, food that I can't quite stomach to even eat, funeral arrangements, telling my Papaw that he has outlived all his family, tears, memories, pictures, questions, concerns, holding my mother as he cries,and numbness. My stomach was in knots and it didn't feel real. The things I saw, heard, and felt today are things you never want to deal with, but have to some day. These are things that are a part of life, but shouldn't be happening to a 66 year old man. I didn't want to deal with these things until my parents had lived to be a ripe old age.

My Dad had a few health problems, had chronic pain from a back surgery, but had been feeling better lately and did not have a terminal illness. He made tomato juice yesterday, fiddled around outside, argued politics with my Papaw, and apparently drew his last breath within a couple of hours of midnight. My parents have had some eerily forshadowing conversations the past week or so and for that we are forever thankful and grateful.

Where was our warning in all this? I left this evening and went to my little children who also lost their G-Daddy at too young of an age to be thinking about this. He had big plans to take them fishing, which never happened and would feed them enough life savers to make them sick each time they visited. Not long ago, he sat out on my back patio after I moved and played Old Maid with my kids and would bluff them and get the biggest kick out of it. One reason I bought a brick house was due to my Daddy working many years laying brick. I can't hardly think of buying a house that is anything else.

Tonight I had to hold my children as they cried and told me that they wanted to be brave so I wouldn't cry. What sweet little souls! They make me smile even in the midst of sorrow and confusion.

Here is my parents and all the grandkids on (what we didn't know was) Daddy's last Christmas 2010:


Here is my Daddy a few years ago taking my kids for a Redneck hayride (ha ha):

Friday, September 9, 2011

Lewis and Clark Expedition in our own backyard

We have been working on an Exploration unit since school began. The kids (and I) have learned quite a bit the past few weeks. I'm the parent/teacher and still wondering why we have Columbus on the calendar in the United States though. That is not to say that I have not taught my kids about him, but they also know that he never came to the United States and died thinking he was in the Indies. Yes, this has been a topic of many discussions around the Hughes house the past few weeks. Aren't we an interesting bunch?

Today we had fun though. We have been studying Lewis and Clark and how they wore Moccasins, which often tore, exposed their feet to the elements and prickly pear (ouch!), and yet they still kept going. In light of this and it being Fun Friday (every Friday is "Fun Friday") we made our own moccasins out of brown paper and went exploring in the yard. They walked on gravel, concrete, grass, mulch, and a tree stump. I tried to convince them to let me poke them with holly leaves to get the full effect, but they decided against this experiment. I don't blame them!





Ironically enough, by the end of the Hughes Expedition, their shoes were worn on the bottom and their feet was exposed.

We had some good silly fun while learning this morning:-)

On another note, I think we are changing the name of our homeschool. Tweaking it a bit, at least. I've never been satisfied with it. It is unimaginative and boring. When Micah came home that day crying and said he wanted me to pull him out, I wrote my letter in about 5 minutes and didn't care what our name was. In KY, you have to have a name by law, because you are essentially considered a private school. It is kind of too late this year, but we may unofficially switch anyways. This may seem silly to some, but this is the name that will quite possibly be on the top of transcripts, diplomas, etc. so it becomes kind of important when you think of it that way.

In the meantime, Jamie is off half the day today, so we are pushing along so we can go have some fun:-) The weekend is upon us and Friday is my favorite day of the week!

Monday, September 5, 2011

Add Another Movie to My List


We just has this conversation a few nights ago at Jamie's parent's house. Movies that we have seen, and don't want to see again for whatever reason. It isn't that these movies are bad, but some are just emotionally draining. For example, Marley and Me is on my list and Saving Private Ryan is on Jamie's. Ironically enough, my favorite movie of all times is Steel Magnolias. It makes me laugh and cry, but the comic relief is really what makes this movie even though I cry every time I see it anyways. I know that a giggle is around the corner and the movie ends positive, so that makes it a good movie to watch more than once.

We watched Soul Surfer last night. It was a movie about a young lady who lost her arm in a shark attack, but had a strong faith in God, and that is very evident in her life. I swear I went through more tissues watching this movie than Steel Magnolias, Marley and Me, and every Nicholas Sparks movie combined. As soon as they show the mother getting the phone call and frantically rushing to the hospital (the ambulance actually passes her), I was in a weepy puddle the rest of the film. She is frantically chanting to God, "Please don't take her, please don't take her..." and I lost it some more.

I'd think, "Ok, the crying is over" then here would come another wave of crying. Even the end, which was positive, had me in a weepy mess. I really liked the movie, so don't get me wrong, it may just go in the ranks of movies that I'm glad I saw, but will never be watched again. Where is Weezer and Clairee when you need them to make you laugh? That is what this movie was missing...some of that comic relief.

"Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion" (Dolly Pardon as Truvy in Steel Magnolias)

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Books and Reading

Chloe had her first soccer practice the other night and a common conversation that occurs when we meet new people goes something like this:

Them: Where do your kids go to school?
Me: We homeschool
Them: Wow, I don't think I could ever do that! (then insert reason)
Me: (smile and nod, because I don't really know an appropriate response) Where do your kids go to school?

I don't know why people choose to validate their decisions, because that is why there are many choices in the world, but I digress.

This conversation went further than the above and the woman added, "I don't even have time to read my child a book much less homeschool her". I know I probably looked like a deer in the headlights at this point (with a smile and a nod). She said at night her child asks to read a book and she tells her to choose a book and just look at the pictures and make up a story, because she is too tired to read to her. Another mom that was sitting there chimed in and agreed.

I get it, I really do. Mommies work hard! If you work outside the home or not, you are a hard working woman. It is one of the biggest responsibilities we'll ever encounter. We are pulled in a million different directions, wear many hats, have many stresses, questions ourselves daily, ridden with Mommy guilt, and yet we love this job and tearfully dread the day our kids will move out!

But, I couldn't help but pause when this lady said this. She didn't read to her child regularly? That is just so hard for me to wrap my simple mind around. I'm the crazy lady that buys baby/children's books for Baby showers, because those are items that are saved, passed down, and enjoyed for years. You can go over any Grandma's house and they still have those treasured items packed away for the next generations to enjoy and they get to read them all over again with grandkids cuddled up in their laps.

My kids have always had books and it has absolutely nothing to do with homeschooling or not. It was already a big part of our lives. I have visited the library with my children since they could toddle. We've always hunkered down at some point during the evening and enjoyed a good book all snuggled up together. I love it when my kids say, "just one more chapter, I want to know what happens next!" These are where some memories are made!

Are we so busy these days, that we can't make time for these simple pleasures? My niece who teaches Kindergarten made a comment that some of her students didn't fill in their weekly reading log. The reason? They didn't have time. 5-10 minutes is really all the "time" you need sometimes though. Even in this busy world where time is a commodity, can you not find 5 minutes to reconnect and enjoy a story with your child?

I sometimes think I was born in the wrong generation. I'll exit off my soapbox now and leave this rant, and continue to read to my children and produce the future generation of nerds.

By the way, now that my kids are older, I catch them reading to each other. Now that is what warms my heart even more:-)