Switching Gears

Jamie has been in vocational youth ministry for 11 years with 2 years of volunteering before that. It has been our 'life' for so long that it was always hard to imagine things in any other way. In our minds, I guess we always just figured that Jamie would always be "employed" by a church in some capacity.....forever.

The past few weeks have been very emotional. Things changed and happened too quickly for us to even process it all. I think we have felt every possible emotion. I have had several close friends/family tell me, "don't let this hinder your relationship with God." In all honesty, we have had to cling and depend on God so much during this valley that he seems closer than ever. What else do we have except God, each other, and those few people that truly care? If it weren't for God we wouldn't even be bothering to try right now. We have found great comfort to know that God is planning our steps ahead of us.

Jamie quit his job of 2 years without one on the horizon to go towards. All he knew was that God was leading him out of here. We didn't know what that meant and it has been very scary. Jamie is a Man of God and I had to stake much of my trust in Him to decide what is best for us with the Lord's leadership. I knew that he wouldn't do anything to hurt us. I'm sure that some people saw him as being irresponsible, but we saw it as a faith fall.

So, we've been in the process of seeking the Lord's desire in our life. Jamie said that he's had tunnel vision too long. We had to break out of our comfort zones and lay it all down and realize that God may have another mission in the future. The very night that Jamie put his 2 week notice in (last Wed.), he got a call when we got home about a job. Not just any job, but a job that we felt God was leading him towards. It was in the Christian University that Jamie graduated from 3 years ago: Mid-Continent University.

There were several emails ping-ponged back and forth and the interview was yesterday. The interview was long (3 hours), but he got the job offer within an hour of leaving the campus. He was thrilled. There are still several details for God to work out for us, but we trust him to do that. And, as an added job "perk" Jamie gets to go to graduate school for free. That saves us about $20,000 of debt! And, coincidentally (there are no coincidences with God though) he had applied for graduate school before ever hearing about this possibility. Amazing! It will be a really nice place to work and make a career, and he'll be able to teach in 2 years.

So, we are closing a chapter in our lives. Jamie finished up the week, then goes on a mission trip to AZ, then we head back to pack her up and move on out. This is also the girls' last week of public school. We are turning many corners, but God is providing all our needs.

Saying Good-Bye is Hard

We have become really close friends with a family here. It has been a long time since we've had really good friends just to "hang out" with and it has been nice. God really knew what I needed when I needed it. I invited them over one day by a chance that she might like to come for a "playdate" since her little girl is the same age as Chloe. Her oldest daughter is in preschool and she was having to just kill time for the 3 hours that she was there. So, it made for a convenient time for us to get together. She'd bring "Little Hannah" (As Chloe refers to her) over and her baby. We sit, chat, sip tea, and probably get interrupted a million times with little girl drama, but has been a very sweet time during my week.

Our families have hung out and we have all become very close. The one thing that I will miss most about Owensboro? These friends! God brought her to me at just the right moment here. He knew that I was needing a girlfriend. He knew that I was a bit lonely for some connections and friendship here and God had Rachel in mind.

They were some awesome youth workers, but have since moved on to their own ministry here in town. I know that God has many wonderful things in store for them!

Their entire family came over here Sunday and then they came for our weekly playdate today. I'm in total denial that this is really going to have to be "Good-Bye". I told her that they can come during the packing craziness in 2 weeks, but today may have been our final playdate.

They have remained true friends and you just don't find many of those in this world! I will miss them so much! I know that we can still get together occasionally. I mean, we are only going to be 2 hours away, but I know that lives are crazy with work, kids, church, etc and sometimes these things are shoved to the back burner and the next thing you know, it has been 2 years since you've laid eyes on your great friend.

I'm not going to cry! I'm not going to cry! Too late!

Here is Chloe with "Little Hannah" today. Aren't they the cutest?

On a good note, Jamie is in the interview as I type this. Nervous, but excited about God's blessings!

Chloe's Birthday Pictures

Do you realize how difficult it is to find dinosaur stuff for a girl? She was happy though and that is all that matters. Here is her face in anticipation of the present.

Her loot (I'm not sure what is up with Abbi's spooky eyes though):

Happy Birthday Chloe Bear!

Again, I can't believe my kids are growing up so fast! Chloe is 4 years old today. I don't have a baby anymore. I guess I haven't for a while, but something about this birthday makes it more official. Chloe is a little firecracker. She talks so much during the day and asks so many questions that I often tease that my ears are tired. She is soaking up the world at a rapid rate and is looking forward to "homeschool preschool" very much. She is a dinosaur fanatic and sitting on the edge of her seat wanting to learn to read (I bet she does too!).

She isn't shy about telling you what she wants and has tons of energy. She is always making us laugh!

I blame my sister for praying me into having her on April 24th (Ha Ha...not really). My grandmother died in March before I had Chloe. My grandmother and sister shared a birthday, and it was very special to both of them. Well, with Grandmother gone, God knew that Davida wanted another "birthday buddy" and gave us Chloe on this exact date. I know that it was just a God thing! I still think of her birthday and can't really believe it sometimes. I remember crying in the delivery room as I relayed to the doctor that it was my Grandmother's and Sister's birthday and that I had just lost my Grandmother. We tease that Chloe is a lot like Grandmother in her personality.

So, today, we putting everything else aside and celebrating this little girl that completed our family.

Moving On

I started this blog 2 years ago after God moved us 150 miles away from family and friends. I wanted a way for them to feel "involved" in our lives. My focus at first was posting pictures and stories about my kids. That is still my primary focus here, but it has evolved over time. It is an outlet for me. I don't like to actually put a pen to paper and write (don't tell my kids that when I'm making them practice penmanship), so this is the journal (journey) of my life in its ups and downs.

Jamie resigned from his position as Student Pastor last night. We are ending our chapter here and it is scary. I know that God holds it all in his hands though. We have been obedient to his direction and we are confident that we will stand amazed on the other side of things. Patience is not my strongest quality, I admit. Waiting often hurts, but we give it all to God.

We have gained a lot by being here. I don't understand all the "why's" and may never understand them this side of heaven, but I do know that there are things that we have endured and experienced that have refined us for the Kingdom. In the end, God holds it all in his hands anyways.

My kids are happy and that makes me happy. Jamie is the best husband that God could have ever created for me and I appreciate him more than he'll ever realize! He is a Godly man and when he surrendered his life to ministry 13 years ago, we didn't know exactly what that meant for the long term. I think that can mean different things for different people. And, in the ministry, you can't really "plan" for the future, because you have left it all up to God and what his direction is.

I think our lives are getting ready to take a shift (at least for a little while). I know that our lives are beginning to change, reguardless. That is scary to us. All we know is vocational ministry. We've been at this for 11 years. We celebrate 16 years in June, so this is a big bulk of our married life. But, part of the "calling" was to be obedient. We'll never give God a timeline or try to plan our own lives ahead of Him. We give all that to him. But, perhaps, this chapter of our lives has drawn to a close? Only God knows the answer to that. Time will only tell.

It has been an emotional couple of weeks. Our lives changed very quickly. While I don't like life spinning out of control, it is a positive that we don't have to "worry" about it. I'm prepared to be amazed at God's mercy and grace. I'm thankful to look around and see my healthy happy kids bouncing around. I'm so very thankful for my family and close friends. I know that there are many prayers going up on our behalf and I'll never be able to thank those people enough. We feel them and appreciate them. God and family is what is getting us through step by step.

We are headed home. We've liked living here overall, but it is a sweet surprise in God's plans that we can go back home and enjoy being around family and familiarity. We need them right now more than ever.

But, you know what is fantastic about endings? That means a new beginning is around the corner!

Hannah's Birthday pictures

Here are a few pictures from Hannah's birthday. She could never figure out what she wanted this year, so I went with some Littlest Pet Shop items. She loved them!

Here are the girls checking out one of her presents while the other one is being opened by Daddy.
Holding up her 7 fingers for 7 years old! She is getting too big!
She wanted a "big cookie" this year instead of cake. Now that I think about it, we rarely have cake on birthday around here.

Happy 7th Birthday Hannah Banana Fo Fanna!!!

I can't believe that my Hannah is growing up so fast! She was the only child that I did not find out the gender ahead of time, because I was already "set" either way. I already had a boy and a girl, so we decided that we wanted to be surprised. Was I ever! I had been 2 for 2 in guessing the gender of Micah and Abbi, so I thought that I was surely right that this 3rd addition to our family was another boy. When the doctor announced, "it's a girl!" the first thing out of my mouth was, "oh my gosh, I thought the baby was a boy".

She was the biggest baby that I had, but she only had 1/2 an ounce on Micah. Now she is the teeniest little thing for her age. She is such a special young lady. She is respectful, polite, loving, incredibly smart, beautiful (and blonde....how did we have a blonde?), and Chloe's mother hen. She is a very special creation of God and we are so blessed to have been chosen to be her parents.

Today has been a very special day and as I reflect on the last 7 years, I sit back in awe and amazement. Hannah is such a blessing to us!

Happy Birthday Hannah! You are growing much too fast, but we are enjoying every second!

Encouragment, Family, and Reflection

I know as parents that we are always looking for opportunities to encourage our children. But, many times, they encourage us without really ever trying. Children speak the truth, and the younger they are, the more truth they may speak in a way. They don't realize about feelings and such at a preschool age, so if they think it, they just say it out loud (don't ask Chloe anything, you don't the answer to). It could be something as sweet as, "mommy you look pretty today" when you put on your favorite dress or something like, "There's green stuff on your teeth" when you have just eaten broccoli. OK, the last one has never happened to me personally, but the point is...they are just honest. Sometimes brutally honest, but many times to give you a little extra sunshine to your day just when you need it the most.

A few days ago Micah and I had a conversation similar to this:

Micah: I wish we'd have 2 more boys, so we'd have 3 of each.

Me: That would be nice, but we probably won't have any more children. (Teasing) We don't have room in our house for any more people anyways. We barely fit already!

Micah: Well, we could get a bigger house.

Me: Yes, we could, but that would mean that I would have to go to work full time just like Daddy. And that would mean that you'd have to go back to regular school.

Micah: Oh

Me: So, it is either we have a little house and homeschool or we have a bigger house and regular school.

Micah: (sitting here for a minute thinking) I'll take the small house!

It made me laugh, but it also was very encouraging. He is enjoying himself and beginning to discern the important things in life. Yes, Jamie and I would like a bigger house too or to buy a home someday (we are happy renters at the moment), but in the end, what matters the most? Family!

When we are near the end of our time here on earth, family is what we will reflect on in our mind's eye. We will remember the good times and the bad, but it will all be about relationships with the people in our lives and God. Jamie and I have never had much. But we have each other and 4 lovely additions that have come along the way too. God has blessed and will continue to bless. The God of the good times is the same God we worship in times of devastation, mourning, and uncertainty.

My Prayer Today

Psalm 31

For the choir director: A psalm of David.

¹ O Lord, I have come to you for protection; don’t let me be disgraced. Save me, for you do what is right. ² Turn your ear to listen to me; rescue me quickly. Be my rock of protection, a fortress where I will be safe. ³ You are my rock and my fortress. For the honor of your name, lead me out of this danger. ⁴ Pull me from the trap my enemies set for me, for I find protection in you alone. ⁵ I entrust my spirit into your hand. Rescue me, Lord, for you are a faithful God.

⁶ I hate those who worship worthless idols.
I trust in the Lord.
⁷ I will be glad and rejoice in your unfailing love,
for you have seen my troubles,
and you care about the anguish of my soul.
⁸ You have not handed me over to my enemies
but have set me in a safe place.

⁹ Have mercy on me, Lord, for I am in distress.
Tears blur my eyes.
My body and soul are withering away.
¹⁰ I am dying from grief;
my years are shortened by sadness.
Sin has drained my strength;
I am wasting away from within.
¹¹ I am scorned by all my enemies
and despised by my neighbors—
even my friends are afraid to come near me.
When they see me on the street,
they run the other way.
¹² I am ignored as if I were dead,
as if I were a broken pot.
¹³ I have heard the many rumors about me,
and I am surrounded by terror.
My enemies conspire against me,
plotting to take my life.

¹⁴ But I am trusting you, O Lord,
saying, “You are my God!”
¹⁵ My future is in your hands.
Rescue me from those who hunt me down relentlessly.
¹⁶ Let your favor shine on your servant.
In your unfailing love, rescue me.
¹⁷ Don’t let me be disgraced, O Lord,
for I call out to you for help.
Let the wicked be disgraced;
let them lie silent in the grave.^a]">[a]
¹⁸ Silence their lying lips—
those proud and arrogant lips that accuse the godly.

¹⁹ How great is the goodness
you have stored up for those who fear you.
You lavish it on those who come to you for protection,
blessing them before the watching world.
²⁰ You hide them in the shelter of your presence,
safe from those who conspire against them.
You shelter them in your presence,
far from accusing tongues.

²¹ Praise the Lord,
for he has shown me the wonders of his unfailing love.
He kept me safe when my city was under attack.
²² In panic I cried out,
“I am cut off from the Lord!”
But you heard my cry for mercy
and answered my call for help.

²³ Love the Lord, all you godly ones!
For the Lord protects those who are loyal to him,
but he harshly punishes the arrogant.
²⁴ So be strong and courageous,
all you who put your hope in the Lord!

I'm often reminded of God's love through the relationship I have with my own children. When they fall down and skin their knee, I'm right there to pick them up, brush them off, hold them, and kiss their boo-boo. When their feelings are hurt, I'm right there to hug them and remind them that no matter what, "Mommy loves them". I would do anything for my children. There is absolutely nothing that they could do in order for me to stop loving them. It is the most pure love this side of heaven.

I think about a parent/child relationship many times when I think of how much God must love his own children. But, I also know that my love for my children is only a small fraction, a very tiny glimpse of the pure and perfect love that the Lord has for us. Nothing can compare even if we can have a small taste.

We'll never understand everything on earth until we meet our creator one day. We'll never fully comprehend his love for us and his mercy. We'll never understand all the "why's" in life until our life on earth is complete. There are so many questions, and the only answers I know are the ones that the Lord holds. Sometimes we are in a valley and sometimes are on top of a mountain, but God is always there. We aren't always understood by fellow humans who are also sinful and flawed, but God searches our hearts and knows the truth. We aren't here to obey man or to please them. We are here to worship the one true and living God. We can't hide from him. We can't be dishonest with Him, for he knows everything. He is the beginning and the end. He is our everything!

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. We claim it all for his glory and honor. He only has our best interests at heart and his divine will ahead of those that are obedient to his word. His ways are not our ways and no matter what, he holds it all in his hands.

Our Sonlight Castle

I was so excited to come home yesterday from a youth retreat to see boxes of curriculum waiting for me! I actually made myself nap before I opened the big (most anticipated) box, because I knew if I opened it before napping, I'd never get to sleep!

This box was the one that I have been coveting since we were called to homeschooling:
I think I have looked at their website a thousand times and was so excited to see their booth at the convention last month. It is mostly literature based learning that you can do as a family. We will be doing Bible, History, Science and Reading through this curriculum. We love to read together already, so what better way to teach!

So I knew if I opened up this box (it was almost 80 books) that I'd never stop looking. But, we sorted them out yesterday afternoon and I got them all put on the shelf in some kind of an order (for now anyways). The kids were so excited about all their books. And, well, Jamie and I were too.

I got a "free" pendant for ordering from them. It is a widow's mite that I can wear around my neck. And, the box was etched with a castle so the kids could play with it. How cool!

So, I do think that besides waiting for a few orders and getting ordinary school supplies, we are complete! God has blessed us so much through this calling already. I can't wait to have all of them home!

Easter 2010

Easter has come and gone. It was a wonderful day of worship, sunshine, and relaxation! The weather has been beautiful the past few days and we are all really enjoying the outdoors again. What a blessing sunshine is after the cold winter months!

Saturday the little park up the road had "Easter in the Park" where they got to see the Easter bunny and play some games for prizes. It was fun and something to do. My kids have never been to see the Easter Bunny, so it was a treat. Chloe liked him better than Santa actually.


Then Sunday morning, we did Easter baskets and the kids dressed up in their new outfits. As you can see, I had 7 kids to dress this Easter instead of my normal 4. I snagged an online deal for the "Dollie and Me" dresses and I let the girls take their little friends to church with them. From my understanding, all of the little doll friends behaved nicely in church, so I guess they may get to return at some point. Micah wanted a polo, of course!

Then we enjoyed an afternoon of egg hunting. We hid the eggs 3X and it is very hard to do in a teeny tiny yard with no trees! But, they had a ball anyways.

And, they are off!!!


Hannah spied an egg up on the swingset that was out of reach


Chloe was the first one to spy some eggs that were hidden underneath their picnic table umbrella. I guess there are advantages to being the shortest.
Abbi was counting her loot:


Micah, apparently caught off guard.

Friday began our spring break as well! It'll be so nice to just relax and not worry about schedules for a few days.

Cute Little Nests!

Well, I'll admit that the past few years, we have not dyed Easter eggs. I don't know why really. 2 years ago, Jamie was out of town on Easter. Last year, we just didn't (for whatever reason). But, we do make bird's nests, which are just too cute!

Melted chips (we did peanut butter and butterscotch...separately, not together) mixed with chow mein noodles, then plop some "eggs" on top (this year we found M&M's shaped like eggs). The kids have fun and they are very tasty too! We also added Peeps to our nests this year. I think they are about the grossest candy on the planet, but they really are cute!

I bought the ingredients on Wednesday, so for 2 days, Chloe has been wanting to make a nest for her "cheep". HA!

On another note, I the UPS man should be visiting my house quite frequently in the next few weeks. Homeschooling 2010-2011 here I come!

April Fool's

I've never really been into April Fool's Day. I know that it can be a lot of fun, but I've never been one for practical jokes. It has just never been a big deal to me beyond elementary school when you walked around and told everybody that they had something on their shirt.

But, I decided to fool my kids this year. I didn't want to do anything major. I just wanted to do a little something to be funny. So, I went to the store, and got some Jell-O. I made the Jell-O in their normal drinking glasses and set them out for dinner. One of them asked, "what is this?" They know that they drink milk or water for dinner, but I told them that I got him some juice at the store. Of course, they were excited about this "treat" at the dinner table and immediately picked their glasses up to get a big drink. Then, when the Jell-O stuck, they were so confused. It was funny! Micah is the one that finally said, "April Fools!". LOL! It was very cute!

On another note, Micah got me good today too. He has started doing fractions. He has begun learning about equivalent fractions and has done very well. In fact, he has not missed anything on his homework and this is a new concept for him. He came in here and said, "I have to tell you something....I looked on the answer key to do my math." My mouth dropped open and I said, "Micah! Why would you do that?!?!" Then he smiles and says, "April Fools!". I guess those drama classes are paying off, because he didn't crack a smile and his dimples are usually a dead give away.

Fun!