About a Year Later

I was just thinking today about our homeschooling journey. I'm obsessively researching what we'll be doing next year so I can get the discounts and deals at the conference and know what vendors to check out (there are too many to hit them all).

I had an emotional breakdown sometime in Feb. 2010. When we moved to Owensboro we rented a house in one of the best school districts in the state. I think it was ranking in the top 10 and had won national awards. I was so excited about my kids getting this fabulous opportunity. I quickly enrolled them after the move. I was very nervous about the school change already, but Micah is so outgoing, Abbi was only going into the 1st grade and Hannah into Kindergarten. How bad could it be? Even though we really liked North Elementary and its familiarity, I was confident that my kids would adjust well.

So, I walked them into school on that first day and settled them into their class. I always got emotional on the kids' Kindergarten year, but this time, it was really bad. I felt the lump in my throat swelling up as we dropped the kids off one by one. It was like the first day of Kindergarten all over again except worse! I did make it to the car with tears in my eyes. Chloe was a nice distraction since she was also upset that she lost her 3 playmates. It was Jamie's day off and we distracted ourselves all day.

Everything seemed to be going according to plan. The kids were happy enough at the beginning. I would ask them if they got to play outside and the answer was always the same, "no." When we had an open house meeting a few weeks later, the teachers handed us their schedule and none (even in Kindergarten) included recess into their schedule. It was "if we have time" instead of standard. We found out rather quickly that "if we had time" rarely happened even in beautiful 70 degree perfect weather.

Jamie and I were not happy. I knew that my ADHD son needed the breaks and I wanted my kids to be able to have a little fun during the day anyways. They were each bringing home a pile of homework every night and by the time they got a snack and a short breather in the afternoon, it was time to start cracking the books. Cracking the books we did...sometimes for hours and hours. Micah rarely had less then 2 hours of homework each night. Most of the time it was more...much more!

School had not been in session very long when Micah was coming home complaining about kids making fun of him. We worried about him making friends already, but this only made us worry more. He didn't seem unhappy to go to school and he did talk about a couple of boys that he was friends with, so we tried to tell him to ignore them and focus on this real friends. That worked for a bit, but by the time school had been in several months, Micah was in the path of bullies that wouldn't let up. It went from verbal abuse to physical. He was being tripped, pinched, poked, laughed at, and at one point pinned against the wall by several at once.

Jamie and I were livid! I did not send my kids to school to be abused. I know it happens, but this was ridiculous. We went to teachers, principals, vice-principals and it was always kind of the same. The teachers seem oblivious and were telling me that Micah was adjusting fine. With 29 kids in one classroom, of course this was happening behind their backs. Micah would tell the teacher and either get blown off or he'd have to pull a card (punished) also. They had a bully policy on file, but it was like they didn't want to address this as a real problem.

So, guess what he learned to do? Nothing! He would be bullied and not tell. What was the point? The teachers weren't listening. He'd tell us, and we tried to get things done to no avail. I felt defenseless and like I couldn't even protect my own child. We watched as he became quieter, more withdrawn, and not as imaginative as he once was. I thought it was just him getting older or something. The outward signs in his personality were so slow and gradual that it was really hard to put a finger on.

Fast forward to his 4th grade year where he got a new teacher and a new grouping of kids in his class. We thought that it might get better. His teacher seemed really great this time. It was not long at all before these kids were back to their old tricks with Micah as their target. He would get in the car every day with piles of useless busy homework and tears in his eyes as he recounted his day. It was always the same old thing. Again, we tried to do the right thing and get his teachers on board. Again, they wanted to brush these real problems under the rug. Micah wasn't telling and his teacher acted like he was Mr. Popular in class and was well liked. Maybe he was, but how many bullies does it take to make your life miserable?

By the end of January, he got in the car daily bawling. Micah is my laid back child (almost to a fault at times) and he was miserable. He never cried, yet here he was crying every single day. I would go home and wonder what in the world we were doing. Jamie and I would just talk about it endlessly. I vented to my mother on several occasions and I just didn't know what to do anymore.

Then February rolled around. I snapped at some point during the month. He had over 4 hours of homework and by the time 8:00 rolled around Jamie and I were just feeding him answers to get it done. Combine that with the bullying and after the kids went to bed that night, I broke down. I sat there across from Jamie and said that I didn't know what to do. He said something in jest about me homeschooling. I didn't even really take it to heart. I just remember how heartbroken I was for my little boy.

That night I slept fitfully. I dreamed about homeschooling and it made me wonder why Jamie had said that to me. I woke up a million times that night and just prayed to God for a clear cut answer and what I was suppose to do. I kept hearing the same thing ringing in my ears, "homeschool". I ignored it! Isn't that what we all do? I kept thinking, "there is no way I can do that, God" "I'm not equipped for that" "I was going to be going back to work in a couple of years" "How will I know what to teach" "Won't my kids be lonely"

But, God did not grant me peace about it. So, I did what any woman does. I emailed a good friend of mine that went through something similar with her kids. She was a teacher friend of mine from 'back in the day' that was (and still is) one of my very best friends. She sent me some links and pointed me in some directions of what to do. I looked up the homeschooling laws in KY (which is very laid back) and tried desperately to pray myself out of this! I didn't "want" that calling. I didn't "want" that burden and responsibility.

So, I continued to ignore for a few days. Again, I didn't sleep and God kept prompting me. He just won't leave you alone when he wants something, will he? I talked to Jamie about it (for real this time) and he told me that it was my decision. Great! So, I rested on it 1 more night and then decided to just give it to God. I told Jamie the next day that God had called us to homeschool and he just sort of smiled and said that he had been thinking about it for over year, but didn't want me to do something just because. He wanted it to be something laid on my heart.

My original intention was to finish out the year, but Micah got into the car one afternoon and said he didn't want to go back. I asked him if he was very sure and he said, 'yes'. I told him that it was done and that he wouldn't have to go back. I got my letter to the board office that Friday afternoon and he never went back.

Again, I was intending for the girls to finish out the year, but we ended up moving early, I pulled them too and the rest is history.

I think one of the most nervous moments was calling our families. My mother was very excited and encouraging. She knew some of the trials we had gone through though. Jamie's parents were also very supportive and understanding. It was nice to have the grandparents on our side. Even at 30 something years old, you still don't want to make a decision that your parents will view as a huge mistake (especially when grandkids are concerned).

So, here we sit almost a year later still trudging away and making plans for next year. Now, I can't even believe I fought it so hard. I can't believe that homeschooling is such a joy in my life. I can't believe how well my kids are thriving. I'm so blessed to have stress-free evenings back into my life. It has increased our family time together. It has shown me that God can do anything even when you don't really think you can.

Family and My Church Lessons

Last night, my kids got formally introduced to their new baby cousin, Leah. They each held her once and enjoyed getting to see her. They are excited about finally being "big" cousins, since they have always been "little" cousins on the other side of the family. Leah has been a big part of our conversations for the past few months and especially the last 2 weeks. I did get to finally see her eyes for a moment before she ate her bottle. I hope that she let her parents sleep a bit last night though considering she was snoozing away the entire evening.

It is so sweet to get to snuggle up with a baby and not do any of the responsible dirty work:-) I love being an aunt for the 4th time! There is just something special about getting to be the spoiler for a change. My kids often refer to her as "Baby Leah" and I'm thinking about how much she may hate that in a few years:-) But it is cute and we all love her so much already!

Jamie's mom is still battling her eye issues and had to go to bed while we were there since she lives in chronic pain. Another surgery is on Thursday, so we are praying diligently that this one works and she will be comfortable again. We know that God is the great physician. He can lead and direct those doctors and give her comfort that she needs.

This morning we attended church, as usual. We have been at our new church for 6 months and I think we are already labeled as the "go to" people. I know exactly what those "go to" people are, because we once had to use them in our youth ministries. You know? The people that can't say "no" Somehow Jamie is teaching the adult class for 4 weeks on Wed. nights, I am subbing in the pre-k class for 2 weeks (did I ever mention that I've never taught Pre-K in my life?). Jamie is on some sort of leader committee group and we teach the 1st-3rd grade. Sometimes I wonder what in the world we are thinking.

Our Children's class is in a partitioned corner of a bigger room (no real walls) and we had 12 kids this morning. 12!!! Let me just say, it is a lively bunch and you can hear 3 other classes going on at the same time (an ADHD nightmare). We have a few kids that are a bigger handfull than others and the one that is the most energetic of the group walked in last week with a Code Red Mountain Dew in his hands. He said his grandmother bought it for him. I'm thinking, "Thanks Granny!" But you see, this particular child either gets dropped off without family or rides the bus. I have a special place in my heart for bus kids. We ministered to a group of mostly bussed in teenagers for 6 years and we saw the heart of those kids. They just need to see the love of Jesus. Period.

So, "L" came in this morning this morning and he is always very happy to be there. He also always acts very happy to see us and usually gives me a hug. He didn't have Code Red this morning, but did have a Little Debbie chocolate cake in his hands. He was so happy about that Little Debbie. We had a hands-on lesson today, which resulted in children being even louder and bouncier than usual. When the lesson was over, we were headed downstairs and "L" asked if he could sit with us. I told him he could and I was thinking how in the world I would hear anything with 6 kids to keep up with (Abbi's friend sat with us too).

I sat him right by me and he asked about a million questions during the service. Why is there a wall around the drums? How does Bro. Rusty know how to play them? Why are those people up there praying? How does he (pointing to the music minister) know the words to all those songs? When is this going to be over? Can I go to the bathroom? Can I color in your book (my teacher's guide)? How did they build that stage so big? What is in those boxes?

You get the picture! Even during prayer, he was asking about something. Not whispering, but right out loud too. I finally remembered that I had stickers and that quieted him down for about 10 minutes.

I left church this morning, not really knowing what the sermon was about. My nerves were a bit rattled, because I had hyper kids all morning, and 2 extra kids to watch during service. I left "L" this morning and will see him again next week, probably. His brother is in our class too (opposite than his brother...very quiet) and he said that his brother had been grounded from church. It made me begin to ponder what kind of home he must have. They are well cared for physically. You can see that. His parents probably love them quite a bit, but it is mere strangers that is showing them the love of Christ and feeding them spiritually.

So, I cannot tell you what our sermon was really about this morning. I know just bits and pieces, but I can tell you about the lessons the "L" taught me. He taught me to always show Christ's love, because that may be the only glimpse of God some people get all week. He taught me patience and that it is OK to ask questions. He reminded me that physical needs being met are only a piece of the puzzle of being a Godly parent. He showed me that even as the "go to" people at church that we are filling a need for the body.

I also have to sit and wonder how God saw "L" this morning. Some that sat around us might think he was a distraction, but I kind of bet Jesus was sitting there smiling at the whole thing.

Jamie and I started a class for married couples on Sunday night. I'm looking forward to that to enhance our relationship with one another through Christ. Looking forward to it!

As Promised!

Here is the picture of my little cheerleader wanna be. Isn't she cute with that toothless smile? The little participants did a cheer in between ball games last weekend at Calloway. She was the cutest girl up there, for sure! I'm only a tiny bit biased.

My kids have been enjoying this gorgeous weather that we have been blessed with. It is hard to believe there was over 8 inches of snow on the ground last week. They have been taking full advantage of it. Let's face it, it is only February and there is more winter left:-(

We have started a new chore system around here. It is still in the prototype stage and too soon to tell. I can say that my house stay cleaned all day yesterday without me having to nag. I don't expect them to be perfect, but I do expect them to pitch in their part. Especially since we are here all the time now. We'll see what happens when the novelty wears off.

I'm so very thankful that this week we are feeling much more ourselves. Last week was not fun for us and Jamie is still not 100% with his eating, but he is getting there, at least. None of the kids got whatever horrible flu/virus I picked up either, so that is always good. When it rains, it pours!

On another note, John got offered a job at MCU and he and Jamie will be working together. Not even 2 weeks after their beautiful daughter came into this world either. It makes me smile to think of all the blessings abound that they are getting to enjoy! A lot of fresh starts in their lives that they have waited a long time for. God is so good and it is amazing to see and we are so happy for them. It was so funny to see Jamie so nervous for the interview outcome. Jamie loves working for MCU and I hope that John is just as blessed while working there! I know they probably want to pinch themselves right about now:-)

Jamie's mother is still suffering from eye issues, so we are remembering to pray for her. The kids are so sweet with their daily prayers. Their prayers are often very similar from day to day, but I know that God hears those sweet little voices. They never forget to pray for "Baby Leah", Nana's eye, Bosco, Granny Dot, and as of late Uncle John's new job, Aunt Rachel to feel better after surgery. It makes me smile on the inside to listen to their heavenly conversations.

And, just for the record, I'm researching my booty off for next year's curriculum, because we are headed to the Land of Elvis in exactly 2 weeks for that convention and some good times. Can't wait!!!

Happy Valentine's Day 2011

I remember back in the dating day, how important this day would have been. Getting roses, balloons, candy, or a stuffed animal was enough to make me feel like I was very lucky. But now, Jamie and I have sort of dropped this holiday off of our "important" list. I did get the kids a York Peppermint Patty (this is one of our favorite "check out line" treats), V-day pencils, and silly bands though. We had a party with the homeschool group at the bowling alley. The girls got pretty little Valentine cards and Micah got to bowl with some of his friends. They got to fill up on too many sweets and even play outside a bit this afternoon due to the warmer weather. It was a nice day, but Jamie has class tonight, so it will be a boring night after the kids go to bed:-)

I have many Loves in my life. My home is full of love. Jamie is my very best friend and what started out as puppy love grew very slowly to what it is today. We are stronger than ever! I simply can't imagine my life with anybody else. He works very hard to provide for us, loves me even when I probably don't deserve it, is a fantastic Daddy, encourages me, and tells me that I'm beautiful even when I don't feel like it.

I have 4 beautiful children. I am watching them grow into smart and funny little people with their own individuality and personalities. Being a mommy is one of the purest loves one can realize this side of heaven. My kids may get tired of seeing my face all the time, but I never tire of seeing theirs.

I have the love of Christ in my heart and he is a member of our family. This is a love that I'll never fully grasp until I die. I see time and time again where he has taken care of us before we even realized we needed help. I'll never quite understand what Christ went through for us, but I sure am thankful for him.

So, while Valentine's day may not hold the same meaning as it did 20 years ago with flowers and candy, I know that I don't need those things in order to realize how blessed I am and how much love I have around me.

It is finally Saturday!

For 3 days now, I have woken up in the morning, disappointed that it wasn't Saturday yet. It has been the longest week in history! A rough week around here, for sure, but do I dare say that I think we are in the 'clear' of the flu? 2 sick adults + 4 healthy kids = a very messy house with no food in it! We have got to get to the store today, because it is pathetic, actually. Yesterday was the first day Jamie and I both felt normalish. We only did 3 homeschool days, and now I'm wondering why I even did that, honestly. Why do I feel the need keep pushing like that? I don't know the reason for my own insanity!

Yesterday we took off, because I had to go to the funeral of a dear sweet family friend. My mother's best friend passed away while Jamie was in the ER Sunday morning. She was like a second mom to me growing up. I can remember weekends where it was just a 'given' that our families were going to be together. We even rode to church together on Sunday morning. You know back in the 80's where nobody wore a seatbelt and 2 adults sat in the front and 4 kids in the back kind of piled up on each other? Her 2 sons were the closest thing I ever had to brothers growing up. They are are a little older than my sister, so I was the 'baby' in the bunch. We'd ride 3 wheelers, play cops and robbers, and walk across the yard to their grandparents (who we even called "Granddaddy") and get a Yoohoo to drink.

Since hitting adulthood, we have all kind of gone our separate ways. It is sad how that happens, but when we see one another, all that comes flooding back. My mother and Jean remained very good friends through a lot. My mother's last visit with her was 2 weeks before she died. Jean was in poor health for her age (66) and was in a nursing home. Jean lost her husband 30 years ago (my Dad's life long best friend) and her life was never quite the same. She had a lot of problems after that. I vaguely remember her husband, but I was very young and the memories are very foggy.

Last night we went to Calloway High to watch Hannah do a little cheer to the very large crowd (Calloway vs. Marshall need I say more?). She was very cute and if I can figure out my new scanner, I'll upload a picture:-)

I also know that the other Hughes bunch got to finally go home yesterday with their sweet little 8 pound bundle. I'm so happy for them! Despite us feeling like junk all week, I've thought about them a lot. I know they are ecstatic to finally be home and getting to enjoy this special time. I hope that we can get some Leah cuddles in as soon as her mommy is feeling better:-)

Blah Blah Blah!

Jamie went back to work today, but they let out at 2:30 or so due to the weather. He was suppose to teach tonight, but church was canceled, so that was a blessing. He was able to come home and rest a bit, which is a good thing.

I got up this morning feeling OK. Still not great, but I thought I was on a mend. I started feeling weird about the time Jamie arrived home and realized my fever was back up to 102! What in the world? So, I'm trying to combat that at the moment, but at last my stomach is OK. The fever won't budge no matter what I do. Flu? I really don't know???? Whatever this is, I hope that it avoids everybody else (especially Jamie). I have not hugged any of my family in nearly 2 days now and it is killing me!

It is Not a Good day in the Hughes house!

First of all, I know the snow was a pain in the behind for everybody, but it was a blessing for us! Jamie's class was cancelled, which was his main worry, because it was the final presentation and much of his grade rides on that. Then, I heard from his co-worker that MCU closed at noon, so he didn't even have to claim an entire sick day. I encouraged him to go ahead and take off today too since he needed to go to the doctor for a follow up blood draw and he is still very weak. I told him, "you can't underestimate the power of rest when you have been so sick"

Little did we know! About 7am this morning, my stomach started churning and not feeling good. I got up and thought I could tough it out, at first. I started doing school with the kids and then decided, "ummm, no I'm really really sick!" and have been for the rest of the day. So, Jamie's sick day ended up being more for my behalf than his, but we had no idea. I've been very sick and 102 fever for most of the day. Jamie had this Zofran here, so that at least allowed some relief.

So, Jamie got to play substitute teacher today and homemaker. Jamie's bloodwork came back normal (yay!) and the doctor agreed with the ER doctor that it was bacterial. They said that Jamie was not contagious at all (I was beginning to wonder this morning if they were wrong). We are assuming for now that I picked up some nasty germs at the ER. We really don't know at all.

So, it has not been a good week around here. I've realized in these last few days though how wonderful my family and church friends are. We've had people calling and checking on everything, offers to keep my kids, and even offers to run to the store for us. We are very blessed to have these wonderful people in our lives!

Jamie did find out that his infection can lead to appendicitis, so we have to keep a watch on that. I'm also trying to keep away from everybody. The last thing Jamie needs is a virus on top of it all. Pray that none of the kids get it and the appendicitis doesn't happen!!!!

What a day!

At 5:00 this morning, Jamie comes to me and said he had been sick all night and his lower back was in severe/excruciating pain. I was puzzled at first, but as I watched him and heard how he was acting, I began to get very concerned. My husband is not one to moan and whine around with every sniffle . I've seen him in pain before, but never have I seen him in this much pain. I went and asked him a few questions. He was moaning, writhing about, unable to form a coherent sentence. I knew we needed to figure out the next step.

It was 5am on a Sunday, so the ER was the only answer for some relief and answers. I began contemplating my choices. My niece is the closest, but since her husband works midnights, I figured that a phone call at 5am, might cause her to be scared. Jamie's parents are the next closest, but my Mother In Law is still recovering from a surgery she had a few weeks ago, and I didn't want to keep them away from the new baby. So, I confirmed that Jamie could wait 30 minutes, and called my mother. She was here fairly quickly and then we decided to head to Murray ER since that is where all our doctors are anyways.

I started consulting "Dr. Google" as I waited and looking up symptoms (bad, I know) and determined that the area he was hurting was probably kidney related and possible a kidney stone the way he was in pain. We arrived at the ER and, I have to say, when someone comes in there with pain, they start jumping quickly (no waiting around this time).

The first nurse that we had was a really cool guy. His first question was if Jamie had ever had kidney stones and when he responded, "No". He said, "I think today is your day." They immediately started an IV to push some fluids (he was dehydrated), pain meds, and Zofran. The nausea got quite a bit better, but the pain still had him moaning and writhing about, so they pushed him something else. Finally he got some relief!

They weren't even discussing the possibility of it being something else. They came in and gave us verbal information on kidney stones and what he might be looking at. They ordered a Cat scan and we waited for the results. Well, we found out that there was NO stone. That was good news and bad news. Nobody wants something like that, but at least that would have been an affirmative answer to the pain.

So, then they ordered a blood draw and found that his CBC showed a bacterial infection. The Cat scan showed that his intestines were inflamed and bulging a bit in the area that was hurting so badly. So, they tentatively diagnosed him with a fancy word for food poisoning!

So, we got sent home with 3 meds, work excuses, and specific instructions on when to bring him back if need be. We have to go tomorrow to get another CBC to compare numbers. Hopefully they'll be better, and he'll be on a mend.

I think we may all play "hooky" tomorrow. I'm really tired from all the excitement too and Jamie needs a nurse and a driver tomorrow anyways. He is running a low fever, but that is understandable. I think we'll grab something for supper (for the kids and I anyways), and all head to bed in a bit.

On another note, I simply could not stand that I was in the same building as that precious baby, and didn't get to look at her. I am sure that I'm covered in every despicable germ that was ever created after camping out in the ER for several hours.

New Life

There isn't quite anything in the world like holding a precious new life in your arms. I met my new niece, Leah Catherine Hughes, this evening. I stalked facebook all day hoping to get a glimpse of some pictures from family that were fortunate enough to get to meet her first. It has been a long time since Jamie and I have been on this side of the delivery room. We were both very anxious and too excited for words. She is a perfect 8 lb 11 oz cutie with more hair than her uncle:-)

I held her for a while this evening and something about holding a baby will just take you right back. I haven't held a baby that size in nearly 5 years, and it seems like a long time ago and yesterday all at the same time.

The kids have been so excited about having a baby cousin. They have been very diligent about praying for Miss Leah for months. This morning, we joined hands and had a special prayer time just focusing on Leah and Rachel as she recovers from surgery. I know that God has big plans for her and if she is anything like her parents, she will have smarts and talents to boot. What a blessing she is already.

There is just something remarkable about new life though. All that potential swaddled up in an 8 pound package with not a care in the world, except to be loved and cared for.

So, Congratulations John and Rachel as you embark on one of the biggest blessings of your life! Don't forget that you have some really experienced babysitters waiting in the wings:-)

Our Exciting Life

So, we bought tickets last night for the Memphis homeschooling convention (March 4th-5th) and Tim Hawkins who will have 2 shows there. Can I just say that I'm excited? I'm really not sure what that says about me though. I know that my priorities are probably a bit different than most, but that is OK.

It isn't even about the convention though. The convention is just killing 2 birds with 1 stone so to speak. We went to a small convention last year, but we were new (as in, I had only been homeschooling a week) to the whole idea and it was a bit overwhelming. We also had our kids with us last year, and so we just wanted to make things as quick as possible. Now, I have a better grasp of what I'm doing and the vision I have for our homeschool. So, I'm hoping to gain a lot more and really be able to learn and look around.

We were planning on seeing Tim Hawkins last Summer when he was in Paducah in June, but that was before we knew we were moving back, and well, life changed a lot for us, and we couldn't go. So, while, I probably have all his jokes memorized anyways, I'm very excited about seeing him in person. If, for no other reason, to say that I did:-)

But, the bigger picture is that I'm going to spend 2 whole days with my hubby. We've never really done that and I've been a mom for over 11 years. We've never just gone out for the weekend and focused on ourselves. We are also guilty (like many busy parents) of not going on 'dates' at all. We do spend time with one another in the evenings when the kids go to bed, but not really 'out' of the house. It always seems like the weekends go by so quickly and everybody is so busy that we just don't bother I don't guess.